鐵 龍
A
A snail(蝸牛)was climbing up a young cherry (櫻桃)tree when a beetle spied (發(fā)現(xiàn))him.
“Say,”said the beetle(甲蟲),“there arent any cherries in that tree.”
“I know,”replied the snail,“but there will be by the time I get there.”
B
The absent-minded professor went around in a revolving door(旋轉(zhuǎn)門)for six hours because he couldnt remember whether he was going in or coming out.
C
If it wasnt for Thomas Edison and his invention of electric light bulb(電燈泡), wed all be watching television by candle light(蠟燭).
D
Did you hear about the absent-minded professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where hed seen himself before.
E
The doctor was so absent-minded that on his wedding (婚禮)day,when it came time to put the ring on his wifes finger, he felt her pulse(脈搏)and asked her to stick(伸出)her tongue out.
F
A small boy in a department store was standing watching the escalator(自動扶梯).
“Something wrong, boy?”inquired a clerk.
“No,”replied the boy, “just waiting for my chewing gum (口香糖)to come back.”
G
Two young men who were joining the Navy(海軍)were asked,“Do you know how to swim?”They both looked puzzled(迷惑),“Whats the matter? Arent there enough ships?”
H
A lawyer(律師)sent an overdue(過期未付的)bill(賬單) to a client (當事人)with a note that read,“This bill is one year old.”The client returned the bill with a note that read,“Happy birthady!”
I
An absent-minded storekeeper came back from lunch and saw a sign(告示)on his door which read ,“Out to lunch.”So he sat down to wait for himself.
J
“Please, Mister, will you give me two dollars so I can get to see my mother and father?”
“Where are your parents, little boy?”
“At the movie.”
K
Two little boys wanted to ask a favor of (請……幫忙)their mother.
“You ask her,”said Paul, age ten.
“No,”said Roy, age nine,“You ask her, youve known her longer than I have.”
L
“You ought to be ashamed(慚愧),”a father told his lazy son,“When George Washington was at your age, he was a surveyor (檢查官)”.
“And when he was at your age,”the boy replied, “he was president of the United States.”
M
Four-year-old Tommy walked into his house one day carrying a worm.
“What,”demanded his mother, “are you doing with that worm?”
“We were playing outside,”replied the boy, “and I thought Id show him my room.”
N
One day a really skinny (骨瘦如柴的)man was walking along when he met a really fat man. The fat man said,“Looks like youve been in a famine(饑荒).”So the skinny man said,“Looks like you caused(引起,造成)it.”
O
Little Tommy just returned from his first day of school.“Tell me son,”asked his mother, “did you learn anything today?”
“A little,”answered Tommy in disgust(厭煩),“but not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow.”
P
Im having a terrible time in school. According to that last test, my stupidity(愚笨)potential(潛勢)is going up again!