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      2009-02-25 06:32:34
      今日中學(xué)生(初三版) 2009年1期
      關(guān)鍵詞:電燈泡旋轉(zhuǎn)門潛勢

      鐵 龍

      A

      A snail(蝸牛)was climbing up a young cherry (櫻桃)tree when a beetle spied (發(fā)現(xiàn))him.

      “Say,”said the beetle(甲蟲),“there arent any cherries in that tree.”

      “I know,”replied the snail,“but there will be by the time I get there.”

      B

      The absent-minded professor went around in a revolving door(旋轉(zhuǎn)門)for six hours because he couldnt remember whether he was going in or coming out.

      C

      If it wasnt for Thomas Edison and his invention of electric light bulb(電燈泡), wed all be watching television by candle light(蠟燭).

      D

      Did you hear about the absent-minded professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where hed seen himself before.

      E

      The doctor was so absent-minded that on his wedding (婚禮)day,when it came time to put the ring on his wifes finger, he felt her pulse(脈搏)and asked her to stick(伸出)her tongue out.

      F

      A small boy in a department store was standing watching the escalator(自動扶梯).

      “Something wrong, boy?”inquired a clerk.

      “No,”replied the boy, “just waiting for my chewing gum (口香糖)to come back.”

      G

      Two young men who were joining the Navy(海軍)were asked,“Do you know how to swim?”They both looked puzzled(迷惑),“Whats the matter? Arent there enough ships?”

      H

      A lawyer(律師)sent an overdue(過期未付的)bill(賬單) to a client (當事人)with a note that read,“This bill is one year old.”The client returned the bill with a note that read,“Happy birthady!”

      I

      An absent-minded storekeeper came back from lunch and saw a sign(告示)on his door which read ,“Out to lunch.”So he sat down to wait for himself.

      J

      “Please, Mister, will you give me two dollars so I can get to see my mother and father?”

      “Where are your parents, little boy?”

      “At the movie.”

      K

      Two little boys wanted to ask a favor of (請……幫忙)their mother.

      “You ask her,”said Paul, age ten.

      “No,”said Roy, age nine,“You ask her, youve known her longer than I have.”

      L

      “You ought to be ashamed(慚愧),”a father told his lazy son,“When George Washington was at your age, he was a surveyor (檢查官)”.

      “And when he was at your age,”the boy replied, “he was president of the United States.”

      M

      Four-year-old Tommy walked into his house one day carrying a worm.

      “What,”demanded his mother, “are you doing with that worm?”

      “We were playing outside,”replied the boy, “and I thought Id show him my room.”

      N

      One day a really skinny (骨瘦如柴的)man was walking along when he met a really fat man. The fat man said,“Looks like youve been in a famine(饑荒).”So the skinny man said,“Looks like you caused(引起,造成)it.”

      O

      Little Tommy just returned from his first day of school.“Tell me son,”asked his mother, “did you learn anything today?”

      “A little,”answered Tommy in disgust(厭煩),“but not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow.”

      P

      Im having a terrible time in school. According to that last test, my stupidity(愚笨)potential(潛勢)is going up again!

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