by Ronnie Jones

The old man could tell his wife was 1）agitated， when she came and 2）plumped down in the chair next to him. He had learned long ago it was best not to venture the first word， she would tell him about it when she was good and ready and had cooled down a bit.

Their granddaughter had brought home a little kitten from school without consulting her first； like they needed another animal in the house， as they already had a dog， three other cats and a 3）hamster. If she was going to keep it， one of the other cats had to go.

The old man wasnt a cat person， far as he was concerned， it was just another cat to tolerate.

By morning this little fussy ball of white fur had snuck into the ladies heart. They had to get some special food and milk， since the kitten had been taken away from its mother too soon.

For a week Snuggles the little kitten romped and played and cried when it was left alone and seemed the happiest when the granddaughter was carrying him around， but he still wouldnt eat and the medicine didnt seem to help much.

The old man woke early in the morning to hear his granddaughter crying， he noticed his wife was absent from her side of the bed. He found her in bed with her granddaughter with the kitten between them.

The old man went downstairs and stretched out in his chair， but he could still hear the crying from his granddaughter and he knew it would get worse. She was just so emotional and had always been like that， it was heartbreaking when her mother brought the little kitten down wrapped in a blue 4）snuggle blanket and laid it on his 5）work bench.

She didnt say anything， but he could see her lips trembling and then she rushed back up stairs.

Everyone in the house came by， to say good bye to the little kitten before they left for their daily 6）assailments. The grandmother had to go to work， and the mother had to take the daughter to school， before she herself went on into school， which just left the old man.

The old man had to take the grandson to school， but he looked at the kitten a minute before he made the morning 7）school run. It was just a couple of blocks away， upon returning， he hunted for a box the right size， then moved the kitten； it opened its mouth and looked at him； he wrapped up the still alive kitten， found a dropper to give it water， then sat for the next four hours with the kitten on his lap， softly stroking it. Really being looked at for the first time ever， at least it would know it was not alone and a warm loving hand would hold it with love till it was time to leave.

The old man sat there； how could a little four-week-old kitten bring so much love into a house. He sat there hoping and praying and tears formed in his eyes when he was sure the little kitten had 8）expired.

The box had just been a box before， now he cut it down to just the right size and made sure it was dirt proof， then found a new pillow case to wrap Snuggles in. Just throwing Snuggles in a garbage bag and throwing it in a hole or a 9）dumpster was out of the question. His tears fell down his face as he hunted for a bag to put around the box， Snuggles was just too special.

He went to the shed and got out the 10）post hole diggers， a shovel and a rake. It would have to be a special spot not in the back of the yard.

He hadnt planted any flowers around the garden， in the front of the house yet. His joints were hurting and old muscles cried in pain as he dug the hole deeper. He didnt want anything to disturb the little kitten. It would always be a sacred place.

The old man placed the special box in the place he had dug and began covering it with the best soil， then took an angel from another pot of flowers and placed it on the exact spot. He wasnt sure why he did it， other than that his granddaughter would want to know where Snuggles was buried.

I rested there after a minute and wondered what dad would say， as he had just put up with cats， till later in life； I wondered， would he be smiling down at me， trying to remind me that it wasnt what you did in life， or where you had been， or what you had done， or what you thought in your own mind or how much money you had that counted， but it was really how much you had been loved and how much you loved in return.

I sat there thinking as I looked over the new grave， what really mattered； the yard hadnt been weeded and trimmed， the junk hadnt been 11）hauled off to what we thought would be neighbors expectations， I sat there thinking， did it really matter； 50 years from now， no one would remember or care. I couldnt find the right words. There were just too many things in the world that haunted me， just an old man and a kitten that reminded me of what really mattered.

當(dāng)妻子走過(guò)來(lái)“撲通”一下坐在他旁邊的椅子上時(shí)，老人能感覺(jué)到她正煩躁不安。他多年前就已經(jīng)懂得，這樣的時(shí)刻最好不要冒險(xiǎn)打開(kāi)話(huà)題，待她緩過(guò)來(lái)，準(zhǔn)備好了，平靜一點(diǎn)之后，她便會(huì)向他道明一切。

他們的孫女沒(méi)有征得她同意就把一只小貓咪從學(xué)校帶回家里，好像他們家還需要多一只動(dòng)物似的，要知道，他們已經(jīng)養(yǎng)著一條狗、三只貓和一只倉(cāng)鼠了。如果她想收養(yǎng)這只貓，那么就得送走其中一只貓。

老人并非一個(gè)愛(ài)貓之人，他不關(guān)心這些，對(duì)他而言只是再多忍受一只貓而已。

到了第二天早上，這個(gè)小小的白色毛絨球已經(jīng)潛入女士們的心坎里了。他們得準(zhǔn)備一些特別的食物和牛奶，因?yàn)檫@小貓咪過(guò)早地離開(kāi)了貓媽媽。

一個(gè)星期以來(lái)，這只叫“抱抱”的小貓咪蹦跳、玩耍，被獨(dú)個(gè)兒留下時(shí)便喵喵地叫，被孫女抱著走動(dòng)時(shí)，它就像是世界上最幸福的貓咪，但它還是不愿意進(jìn)食，藥物似乎也起不了多大作用。

老人一大早醒來(lái)就聽(tīng)見(jiàn)他的孫女在哭，他發(fā)現(xiàn)妻子沒(méi)睡在身旁，原來(lái)妻子和孫女睡，“抱抱”就在她們中間。

老人下了樓，坐在椅子上伸展筋骨，但是他依然能聽(tīng)見(jiàn)孫女的哭聲，他也知道情況只會(huì)越來(lái)越糟。她太容易動(dòng)情了，總是那樣，當(dāng)她媽媽用藍(lán)色的裹毯裹起小貓咪抱下樓，放在老人的工作臺(tái)上時(shí)，她傷心極了。

她一語(yǔ)不發(fā)，可是老人能看到她的嘴唇在發(fā)抖，接著她沖回到樓上。

在開(kāi)始每天的工作之前，家里的每個(gè)人都過(guò)來(lái)與小貓咪道別。奶奶要上班，媽媽要在自己去上課之前送女兒去學(xué)校，就只剩下老人一人了。

老人要送孫子去上學(xué)，出門(mén)趕往學(xué)校前，他再看了小貓咪一眼。學(xué)校就在幾個(gè)街區(qū)之外，回來(lái)時(shí)，他找到了一個(gè)大小合適的盒子，接著，他把小貓咪挪到盒子里；它張開(kāi)小嘴，望著他；他把這還活著的小貓咪裹起來(lái)，找來(lái)一個(gè)點(diǎn)滴器給它喂水，接下來(lái)的四個(gè)小時(shí)，他把小貓咪放在大腿上，輕輕地?fù)崦＿@是小貓咪第一次被真正地凝視，至少它會(huì)知道自己并不孤單，并且一只溫暖的手正有愛(ài)地抱著它，直到它離開(kāi)這個(gè)世界。

老人坐在那兒；一只四周大的小貓咪怎么會(huì)給一個(gè)家庭帶來(lái)如此多的愛(ài)啊。他坐在那兒，盼望著，祈禱著，當(dāng)他確信小貓咪已經(jīng)離開(kāi)時(shí)，眼淚盈滿(mǎn)了他的雙眼。

這個(gè)盒子原本只是個(gè)普通的盒子，現(xiàn)在他把盒子剪成恰當(dāng)?shù)某叽?，確保其防塵防土，接著找來(lái)一個(gè)嶄新的枕頭套把“抱抱”裹好。隨便把“抱抱”裝進(jìn)垃圾袋，扔進(jìn)泥坑或者垃圾箱里是不可能的事。在他尋找袋子把盒子包起來(lái)的時(shí)候，眼淚從他的臉頰滑落下來(lái)，“抱抱”真的太特別了。

他走進(jìn)工作棚，拿出孔洞挖掘機(jī)、鏟子和耙子。一定要找一個(gè)不在后院的特殊地點(diǎn)。

他尚未在花園和前院里種花。在他將洞越挖越深的時(shí)候，他的關(guān)節(jié)生疼，老肌肉嗷嗷作疼。他不想有任何東西打擾小貓咪。那里將永遠(yuǎn)是一個(gè)神圣的地方。

老人把那個(gè)特殊的盒子放進(jìn)自己親手挖出的地方，開(kāi)始用最好的泥土覆蓋，然后從另一盆花上拿來(lái)一個(gè)天使，放在那個(gè)地方上面。他不清楚自己為什么這么做，只不過(guò)，他的孫女會(huì)想知道“抱抱”被埋在哪兒。

我在那里停歇了一會(huì)兒，想著父親會(huì)說(shuō)些什么，因?yàn)樗钡酵砟瓴艅偨蛹{了這些貓；我想知道，他會(huì)否低頭對(duì)我微笑，試著提醒我，重要的不是你在一生中做了什么、去過(guò)哪里、成就了什么、腦子里想著什么，又或者你擁有多少財(cái)富，而是你真正獲得多少愛(ài)、付出多少愛(ài)。

我坐在那兒，望著那座新墳，陷入沉思，想著什么才是真正重要的；院子還沒(méi)除草和修剪，垃圾還沒(méi)清理到我們?cè)O(shè)想中的鄰里預(yù)期的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，我坐在那兒想著，這是否真的那么重要；50年之后，沒(méi)有人會(huì)記得，也沒(méi)有人會(huì)在乎。我找不到合適的語(yǔ)言。世界上實(shí)在有太多的事情縈繞著我，僅僅一位老人和一只小貓咪就提醒了我什么才是真正重要的。