ZACH LOWE

Jameer Nelson became the latest victim of the NBAs anti-testicles stance this week after breaking out the Cassell in celebration of a game-tying 3-pointer in the waning seconds of the fourth quarter during Wednesdays wild Chicago-Orlando game. Wednesdays are always crowded with games， and they carry the potential for absolute NBA madness. This Wednesday featured the Bulls-Magic triple-overtime thriller； Nick Young throwing punches at multiple Suns； Mark Cuban cursing out officials on live television after an insane Clippers comeback/Dallas collapse； an inexplicable Heat blowout loss in Washington； Greg Odens feel-good comeback； and close games all over the place. Going to an NBA game on a Wednesday night is stressful； you never know what youre going to miss on television.

賈馬爾·尼爾森成為了NBA“反三俗”立場的最新一個受害者，在本周那場公牛和魔術的瘋狂大戰(zhàn)中，尼爾森在第四節(jié)最后投中扳平比分的三分球后，做出了卡塞爾“巨蛋”舞那樣的慶祝動作。每周三都是大的比賽日，這些比賽總會在NBA掀起瘋狂的浪潮。在本周三，先是有公牛、魔術的瘋狂三加時；又有尼克·楊和眾多太陽球員的群架；接著在快船瘋狂反擊/小牛全線潰敗的比賽中，馬克·庫班在電視直播上大爆粗口；熱火莫名其妙地被奇才完爆；不過格雷格·奧登的復出感覺卻很不錯；最后，到處都上演著緊咬比分的比賽。周三去現(xiàn)場看NBA比賽其實壓力山大，因為你永遠不知道自己會錯過電視上的什么內(nèi)容。

But Wednesdays are also exhilarating when things break right， as they did that night. The league felt just a bit … out of control. A little more edgy， a little less sterile. Televised sports are so manufactured， manicured down to a second-by-second level， that any accidental break from protocol feels like a victory over Big Brother③ in some small way.

不過當情況朝著正確的方向發(fā)展時，周三還會是令人激動興奮的一天，就像那天晚上一樣。聯(lián)盟感覺到……局勢有點失去控制了?；饸庥悬c大，比賽場面變得有趣起來。電視轉播的體育比賽已經(jīng)成為徹底的認為操控的賽事，甚至精確到了每一秒。這就是為什么任何超過常規(guī)的小插曲發(fā)生時，我們在某種程度上都會有一種掙脫了“老大哥”舒服的勝利感。

The Big Balls dance taps into that. I completely get why the league fines players for it， and its stance has been pretty

consistent for the last decade or so. “Its an obscene and inappropriate gesture，” a league spokesman told Grantland this week.“There are better ways to celebrate.” Indeed， the league looks past lots of other celebrations that do not involve the mimicked grasping of grapefruit-sized balls — Antoine Walkers wiggle-jiggle， the Knicks tapping three fingers against their heads upon made 3-pointers， Blake Griffins stone-faced post-dunk stares， the jersey pop， and all sorts of jigs and dances and jumps for joy.

“巨蛋”舞正好屬于這個范疇。我完全理解聯(lián)盟因此處罰球員的做法，而且聯(lián)盟在過去十來年里一直保持著相同的立場?！斑@是下流且不合適的行為?！北局芤宦?lián)盟發(fā)言人Grantland這樣解釋道，“想慶祝的話，還有更好的方式。”沒錯，除了模仿端著個葡萄柚大小的球那樣的動作，聯(lián)盟確實允許其他很多慶祝動作——安東尼·沃克的扭臀舞、命中三分后尼克斯球員用手指敲三下自己的腦袋、布雷克·格里芬扣籃后的面無表情、展示球衣，還有球員各種開心的舞步。

And Big Balls doesnt even garner the most serious fines. The Big Balls generally gets you $15，000. That was the penalty in the last six months or so for several Big Ball enthusiasts — Nelson， Marco Belinelli， Andray Blatche， and Caron Butler. （Credit to Blatche for being the only guy among this group fined for doing the dance while on the freaking bench， and in celebration of a teammates shot. Creative and Blatche-y！）

“巨蛋”舞甚至不會引來最重的罰款，跳一次“巨蛋”舞大約會帶來15000美元的罰款。對于幾個“巨蛋”舞狂熱愛好者來說，這就是他們過去六個月總共的損失，比如尼爾森、馬科·貝里奈利、安德烈·布拉齊和卡隆·巴特勒。（必須要贊一下布拉齊，他是這些人中唯一一個因為在板凳席上跳舞而被罰款的人，他只是為了慶祝隊友的進球。無限創(chuàng)意布拉齊?。。?/p>

More obviously obscene gestures get stiffer fines. The NBA docked Kevin Durant$25，000 for making a “menacing” throatslashing gesture after a clutch bucket last season， and the middle finger will generally cost you $25，000 — even if youre trying to hide the bird as part of a face-scratching session（Reggie Evans）， or even by sucking blood off of it （Glen Davis， of course）. Paul Pierces alleged gang-sign hand gesture during a 2008 playoff game got him $25，000， and the good old Jail Blazers④ outdid the league by straightup suspending Zach Randolph after Z-Bo flipped off fans in 2006.

一些明顯更不好的動作受到了更重的處罰。上賽季杜蘭特在命中一次關鍵投籃后做出了割喉手勢，聯(lián)盟為此罰了25000美元。如果豎中指的話，你也會損失25000美元——即便你在撓臉時（雷吉·埃文斯）已經(jīng)試著把中指收起來了，或者你只是想用手指堵住鼻血（必須是格倫·戴維斯?。?。保羅·皮爾斯2008年季后賽期間因為一個據(jù)稱是黑幫動作的手勢受到了25000美元的罰款。而曾經(jīng)的“監(jiān)獄開拓者”甚至比聯(lián)盟還狠，2006年扎克·蘭多夫對球迷豎中指后，他們直接給了隊內(nèi)禁賽。

A couple of Big Ball aficionados （Eddie House， Josh Smith） earned the larger $25，000 fine for reasons that are unclear， though in Houses case， the league appears to have come down more harshly because he Balled Out in consecutive games. I mean， come on， Eddie. You dont want to cheapen the thing by overdoing it.

還有其他幾個“巨蛋”舞愛好者因為不明原因受到了更重的25000美元的罰款，比如埃迪·奧斯和約什·史密斯。不過在豪斯的問題上，聯(lián)盟的處罰力度顯得更大，因為他連續(xù)幾場比賽都做出了那個動作。我想說的是，拜托啊埃迪。別玩過了，否則這動作就變得廉價了。

The league would probably justify the fine discrepancy by arguing that everyone understands the lewdness of the middle finger and the violence underlying the throat-slashing thing. Those are universal symbols. Perhaps there are fans who would see the Cassell dance and not immediately understand what was going on.

聯(lián)盟大概會以所有人都知道豎中指的下流意味和割喉的暴力內(nèi)涵，來為自己處罰的差異性做出解釋。那些手勢的意思地球人都知道。也許有一些看到卡塞爾做出慶祝動作的球迷不會立刻理解其中的意思。

But something else bugs me a little about this： The Big Balls fine is in line with fines the league doles out for some instances of fighting and/or dangerous flagrant fouls， and larger than what any player has lost for flopping. A player has to reach his fourth flopping violation before facing a $15，000 fine under the leagues flopping regulations， now in their second season. The first offense is a warning， the second gets you a $5，000 fine， and the third carries a $10，000 penalty. No player has even reached the $10，000 fine yet. Not even James Harden or J.J. Barea！

但這事還有些小問題困擾著我：聯(lián)盟對“巨蛋”舞的處罰標準等同于斗毆和一些惡意犯規(guī)，并且高于假摔的處罰。根據(jù)聯(lián)盟已經(jīng)實行到第二年的假摔規(guī)則，一名球員只有第四次違反假摔規(guī)則了才會收到15000美元的處罰。第一次違反假摔規(guī)則的只會收到警告，第二次會收到5000美元處罰，第三次則是10000美元。甚至還沒有球員達到10000美元這個標準，甚至連詹姆斯·哈登和JJ·巴里亞都沒有！

This feeds into the belief， not uncommon around the league， that the NBA cares more about public perception than about substantive issues affecting the game. I dont personally believe that criticism is fair. There are loads of people at the league office who care deeply about the nitty-gritty stuff that affects game play— rules changes， length of games， the quality of officiating， flopping， and the overall aesthetics of the game experience. Adam Silver， the soon-to-be-commissioner， is one of them. But there exists the notion that the NBA only pipes up about these things when people like Jeff Van Gundy complain about them， or when a game-deciding call is so egregiously bad （OH ED MALLOY！?。。。。?that it becomes a story large enough the NBA must issue an apology. The league emphasizes delay-of-game rules and illegal screens right up until it doesnt anymore— or so goes the line of thought. And there is probably some truth to that.

這其實迎合了在聯(lián)盟內(nèi)部流行的一種觀念，也就是，NBA關心的是聯(lián)盟的公眾形象，而不在意一些實質問題給比賽帶來的影響。我個人并不認為這種批評是合理的。聯(lián)盟辦公室里有很多人都非常關心那些影響比賽的各種小細節(jié)——規(guī)則的改變、比賽的長度、裁判執(zhí)法的質量、假摔、以及對比賽整體的感受。即將成為聯(lián)盟總裁的亞當·肖華就是其中一員。但也有種說法，說聯(lián)盟只有在諸如杰夫·范甘迪這樣的人開始抱怨、或者出現(xiàn)極端糟糕的決定比賽勝負的判罰時（說的救贖你啊埃德·馬洛伊?。┎艜P注那些問題，通常那時候麻煩已經(jīng)大到聯(lián)盟必須公開道歉的程度。聯(lián)盟強化了延遲比賽的處罰規(guī)則和非法擋拆規(guī)則，直到這些問題不再成為問題——或者他們認為不再有問題了。也許在這其中也有些合理的成分。

But the league has an interest in preventing the NBA from becoming some foulmouthed， taunt-heavy， WWE-style universe. That would get tiresome and dilute the quality of the product. Surface perception， as shallow as it might seem， matters to any business. Thats why every corporation has a PR department. The league says it gets complaints about the Cassell thing， and that kind of fan reaction matters. Any business would take that kind of thing into account. There is a legitimate slippery slope argument here： If the NBA lets the Big Ball practitioners skate， what other celebrations might spread around the NBA？ Would players start mooning opposing benches？ The league has actually drawn a line， albeit a blurry one， in allowing harmless celebrations and punishing those carrying just about any unpleasant gesture.

不過聯(lián)盟也想避免讓NBA變成到處口水戰(zhàn)、惡俗玩笑橫行的像WWE摔跤聯(lián)盟的聯(lián)賽。這會讓比賽變得無趣，降低聯(lián)盟輸出產(chǎn)品的質量。表面現(xiàn)象盡管很膚淺，但對任何商業(yè)行為都是非常重要的。這也是每一家公司都有公關部門的原因。聯(lián)盟表示，他們接到了針對卡塞爾動作的抱怨申訴，而球迷的這種反應相當重要。任何一個公司都會關注這種反應。在這個問題上存在合理的擔憂：如果NBA允許做出“巨蛋”舞動作的人逃過懲罰，那么聯(lián)盟又會出現(xiàn)什么樣的動作？球員會不會朝對方板凳席露屁股示威？聯(lián)盟其實是在劃出界限，盡管這條界限并不清晰，但它允許無害的慶祝動作，而且制止那些包含令人不快的手勢出現(xiàn)。

Who are these people complaining， and how do they do it？ Do they tweet at the NBAs official account？ Do they dig up Rod Thorns email address， sit down， and compose an email with the subject line “Balls”？ Or are they like Greenberg， that Ben Stiller character， writing hand-written complaint notes they send via the actual postal service？

到底是哪些人在抱怨，他們又是怎么做到的？他們會在推特上提醒NBA的官方賬號？他們會找出羅德·索恩的電子信箱，然后寫一封主題里有“蛋”這個字眼的郵件？還是說他們就像本·斯蒂勒扮演的角色格林伯格那樣，手寫一封表達不滿的信件，通過真正的郵局郵寄？

Anyway： There is something off， to me at least， in penalizing a feel-good dance more harshly than an act — flopping — that has a direct impact on game play. There are important distinctions between the two， of course. Flopping happens organically， in a spurof-the-moment sense， and often as the result of real contact within the flow of the game. The Big Balls thing happens outside the game flow， and though it is in some cases an in-themoment bout of exuberance， there is some premeditated individual showiness to it. A player could plausibly argue a flop was at least somewhat accidental. “I slipped， I swear！” You cant argue some power possessed your body and instructed it to do the Big Balls dance— unless Sam Cassell is a deity with those kind of powers and we just dont know it.

總之，在我看來，對一個球員自我感覺良好的慶祝動作的處罰嚴于一個對比賽能產(chǎn)生直接影響的動作——比如假摔，至少是有點問題的。這兩者之間顯然有著非常重要的區(qū)別。假摔是原發(fā)性的，是一瞬間的事，而且也經(jīng)常是比賽中真的出現(xiàn)身體接觸后才會發(fā)生的。而“巨蛋”舞則出現(xiàn)在比賽之外，盡管有時候確實會在比賽進行中出現(xiàn)這種動作，但這些動作通常都有個人計劃好了的表演成分。某種程度上，球員可以將假摔辯解為事故?！拔一沽耍野l(fā)誓！”你卻不能爭辯說自己的身份被超能力控制了，這種超能力讓你跳出了“巨蛋”舞——除非卡塞爾真的是神仙一個，擁有我們無法理解的超能力。

But if youre serious about eradicating the flop， if you think it is a stain on the game， then it should probably carry a steeper penalty than a stupid dance. And that， to me， is the difference between the Cassell and all the other fined gestures — flipping off the fans， the throat-slash， etc. The Cassell is jubilant， and happy， and not really directed at anyone in particular. It is a celebration， well-earned. It is non-threatening， and most of all， a ton of freaking fun. And sports are fun！ Its just a synonym for “I have huge guts，” after all. Maybe players should just grab their stomachs and shake them？

如果你真的想鏟除假摔，如果你真的認為假摔是對籃球的玷污，那么對假摔的懲罰就該重于那些愚蠢的慶祝動作。對我來說，這也是卡塞爾和其他被處罰的慶祝動作之間的區(qū)別——比如沖球迷豎中指、割喉等等?？ㄈ麪柕摹熬薜啊蔽枋菤g樂而開心的，它沒有針對任何人。這是一種慶祝，是球員辛苦掙來的慶祝。這個動作沒有任何威脅意味，而且最重要的是，這個動作其實特別歡樂。而體育本來就是充滿歡樂的！說白了這就是“我就是牛X”的代名詞。也許球員該抓住自己的肚子，然后晃晃？

Update： “It is done in fun，” says Ron Klempner， acting executive director of the National Basketball Players Association told me. “Some may view it in bad taste， or misinterpret it， but I think this kind of discipline is disproportionate.” The union has appealed Cassell-related fines in the past， Klempner says.

更新：“這本來就是因為開心而做的。”球員工會執(zhí)行主席羅恩·克萊普納告訴我，“有些人可能覺得沒品位，或者誤解這個動作，但我覺得這種處罰太過了、”克萊普納說，工會過去曾經(jīng)就“巨蛋”舞的處罰做出過上訴。

Im open to the possibility that Im wrong on this — that there is a silent majority of fans who find this behavior abhorrent and gross， and feel like tuning out of the NBA for a bit when they see it. Maybe they dont want their kids seeing a grown man cup a pair of grapefruits. Maybe kids， and maybe especially little girls， shouldnt see a grown man cup a pair of grapefruits. Maybe parents shouldnt have to answer awkward questions about what that player just did. But penalizing the Cassell seems a little bit like over-policing， carrying the same whiff of paternalism as the dress code and other such regulations.

我并不排除自己在這個問題上出錯的可能——球迷中沉默的大多數(shù)認為這種行為既令人討厭又三俗，而且當NBA比賽中出現(xiàn)這個動作時，他們會換臺看別的節(jié)目。也許他們不想讓自己的孩子看到一個成年人做出端葡萄柚的樣子。也許孩子，尤其是小女孩，不應該看到成年人做出端葡萄柚樣的動作。也許家長沒必要回答球員剛剛干了什么的尷尬問題。但處罰“巨蛋”舞的行為，總給人一種過度執(zhí)法的感覺，給人一種類似著裝令和類似規(guī)定的家長式統(tǒng)治的感覺。

But thats just me. What do you think？

但這只是我的看法。你怎么看呢？