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      大學(xué)交友眾生相

      2014-08-26 14:56:58RegaJha趙青奇
      新東方英語(yǔ)·中學(xué)版 2014年8期
      關(guān)鍵詞:口頭禪哥們交友

      Rega+Jha 趙青奇

      大學(xué)就像一個(gè)大熔爐,匯聚了來(lái)自五湖四海的莘莘學(xué)子,每個(gè)人都希望自己能在美好的大學(xué)時(shí)光里結(jié)識(shí)各色各樣的朋友。鑒于此,我們特地為大家搜羅了大學(xué)里可能會(huì)遇到的11類朋友,供諸位參考。

      1. The Overachiever1)

      Defining Traits: This person is president, chair, captain, or founder of every club they're in.

      You're Friends Because: Being around them is like being around a human pep talk2). They make you want to step up your game3).

      Catchphrase4): "Sorry, gotta run to a meeting."

      2. The Genuine Academic

      Defining Traits: They have read more books than you've seen in your whole life ... Not because it's assigned, but because they're interested in the world.

      You're Friends Because: Let's be real. Without them around to explain things to you, you'd be an idiot.

      Catchphrase: "Yeah, The Atlantic had a story about it last month."

      3. The English Major

      Defining Traits: Uncontrollable instinct to correct your grammar, speaks half in literary quotations, has etched5) a couplet6) into their desk at some point.

      You're Friends Because: You need someone to proofread your papers ... And keep you literate.

      Catchphrase: "The book is so much better, you guys."

      4. The Athlete

      Defining Traits: They're two different people depending on whether or not their sport is in season. Disciplined as all hell. Sweatpant7) chic8).

      You're Friends Because: Their perfect and able body motivates you to put down the Cheetos9) and pick up the dumb-bells10).

      Catchphrase: "Sorry, man, gotta run to practice."

      5. The Slacker11) Genius

      Defining Traits: They go out more than you and get better grades than you. You've never witnessed them doing homework, but the homework is always done.

      You're Friends Because: We all need heroes.

      Catchphrase: "Wanna get high?"

      6. The Start-up Whiz12)

      Defining Traits: They have a different genius business idea every week. Swear they thought of Twitter before Twitter thought of Twitter.

      You're Friends Because: It's nice to see someone so genuinely excited about making life easier. And you never know when they'll drop out.

      Catchphrase: "The next big thing."

      7. The Socialite13)

      Defining Traits: Nobody knows why or how they know this person but literally everybody knows this person.

      You're Friends Because: I mean, who knows? But they're super nice and you don't mind it so ...

      Catchphrase: "Oh my god, it is SO good to see you!"

      8. The Internet Savvy14)endprint

      Defining Traits: Live-tweeting expert. Everything on their Facebook gets over 50 likes. Use hashtags15) and abbreviations IRL. Higher Klout16) score than you.

      You're Friends Because: You need someone to text asking what "IRL" and "Klout" mean.

      Catchphrase: "Omg, one sec, I wanna Instagram17) this really quick."

      9. The Alternative Friend

      Defining Traits: Cooler clothes than you, cooler musical taste than you, cooler hobbies than you, cooler parties than you, cooler weekend plans than you.

      You're Friends Because: Refer to "Defining Traits".

      Catchphrase: "I'm not a hipster18), man."

      10. The Comedian

      Defining Traits: Member of at least one improv19) group. MC20) of every major campus event.

      You're Friends Because: You like laughter and you like happiness and those are things this person provides.

      Catchphrase: "So a guy walked into a bar ..."

      11. The Wall Streeter

      Defining Traits: Usually spotted power-walking21) to or from somewhere, carrying a resume folder, wearing a suit. Can smooth-talk22) anyone into anything.

      You're Friends Because: This person is a truly inspiring embodiment23) of the "work hard, play hard" life philosophy. Best companion for all-nighters24).

      Catchphrase: "Let me check my calendar and get back to you."

      1.佼佼者

      標(biāo)志特征:這種人是他們加入的各大社團(tuán)的會(huì)長(zhǎng)、主席、隊(duì)長(zhǎng)或創(chuàng)始人。

      交友原因:跟這些人相處就像一直在聆聽他們激勵(lì)人心的講話一樣。他們讓你想奮發(fā)圖強(qiáng)。

      口頭禪:“不好意思,要趕個(gè)會(huì)。”

      2. 學(xué)術(shù)帝

      標(biāo)志特征:他們讀過的書比你這輩子見過的書都多……不是因?yàn)樽x書是作業(yè)要求,而是因?yàn)樗麄儼V迷大千世界。

      交友原因:咱們說(shuō)真的,沒他們給你科普一下,你就是一白癡。

      口頭禪:“對(duì)了,上個(gè)月的《大西洋月刊》登過一篇相關(guān)報(bào)道?!?/p>

      3. 英語(yǔ)專業(yè)學(xué)生

      標(biāo)志特征:他們總是抑制不住沖動(dòng)要糾正你的語(yǔ)法,說(shuō)的話中有一半是在引經(jīng)據(jù)典,還曾在書桌上刻過兩行詩(shī)句。

      交友原因:你需要找人校對(duì)你的論文……還可以保持你的文學(xué)修養(yǎng)。

      口頭禪:“跟你們說(shuō),這本原著絕對(duì)更好看?!?/p>

      4. 運(yùn)動(dòng)達(dá)人

      標(biāo)志特征:他們?cè)谫惣竞头琴惣九腥魞扇?,?xùn)練非常有素,穿著拉風(fēng)的運(yùn)動(dòng)褲。

      交友原因:他們健美的身材激勵(lì)你丟下薯片,拾起啞鈴。

      口頭禪:“對(duì)不起了,哥們,我急著去訓(xùn)練呢?!?/p>

      5. 散漫的天才

      標(biāo)志特征:他們玩的比你多,考的比你好。你從沒見他們做過作業(yè),但他們的作業(yè)總是完成了。

      交友原因:英雄誰(shuí)不愛。

      口頭禪:“想不想去玩?”

      6. 創(chuàng)業(yè)奇才

      標(biāo)志特征:他們每周都會(huì)想出一個(gè)新的天才般的生意點(diǎn)子。他們發(fā)誓說(shuō)在Twitter還不知道自己在哪兒之前他們就想到了Twitter。

      交友原因:看到有人發(fā)自內(nèi)心地?zé)嶂杂谧屔钭兊酶?jiǎn)單令人欣慰。還有,你永遠(yuǎn)不知道他們什么時(shí)候就會(huì)退學(xué)。

      口頭禪:“我下一個(gè)要做的大事。”

      7. 社交達(dá)人

      標(biāo)志特征:沒有人知道為什么會(huì)認(rèn)識(shí)這種人,也不知道是怎么認(rèn)識(shí)的,但是大家無(wú)一例外都認(rèn)識(shí)。

      交友原因:呃,誰(shuí)知道呢?只是他們?nèi)顺?,而且你也不介意,于是…?/p>

      口頭禪:“天哪,見到你真是太開心啦!”

      8. 網(wǎng)絡(luò)高手

      標(biāo)志特征:他們是Twitter的現(xiàn)場(chǎng)直播行家,在Facebook上發(fā)什么都能得到超過50個(gè)“贊”。他們善用主題標(biāo)簽,在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中(編注:IRL是in real life的縮寫)常用縮寫,Klout的評(píng)分也比你的高。

      交友原因:你需要有個(gè)能發(fā)短信問問“IRL”和“Klout”是什么意思的人。

      口頭禪:“天哪,等我一秒,我想快速把這個(gè)發(fā)到Instagram上?!?/p>

      9. 與眾不同的家伙

      標(biāo)志特征:他們穿的衣服比你的靚,聽的音樂比你的雅,愛好的東西比你的酷,聚會(huì)辦得比你的歡,周末計(jì)劃安排得比你的好。

      交友原因:參見“標(biāo)志特征”。

      口頭禪:“老兄,我不是潮人啊。”

      10. 笑星

      標(biāo)志特征:他們至少是一個(gè)即興表演社團(tuán)的成員,還是校園各個(gè)重大活動(dòng)的司儀。

      交友原因:你喜歡的歡笑和快樂他們正好能給你。

      口頭禪:“話說(shuō),有一哥們走進(jìn)一酒吧……”

      11. 商業(yè)精英

      標(biāo)志特征:他們常常帶著一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)歷夾,穿著一身西裝,來(lái)去都步履匆忙,還巧舌如簧,啥人啥事都能忽悠。

      交友原因:這種人是“努力工作,盡情享受”這一人生理念的典范,非常鼓舞人。他們還是熬通宵的最佳伙伴。

      口頭禪:“我看下我的日程安排,回頭再聯(lián)系你?!眅ndprint

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