A Fine Match

One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse， so she ran out of the house， got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her， “Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse.”

The lady went home with her mousetrap， but when she looked in her cupboard， she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop， because it was very late， so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.

Surprisingly， the picture of the cheese was quite successful！ When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese！

勢均力敵

有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的廚房地板上竄過。她很害怕老鼠，所以她沖出屋子，搭上了公共汽車直奔商店。在那兒，她買了一只老鼠夾。店主告訴她：“放點奶酪在里面，很快你就會逮住那只老鼠的?！?/p>

這位女士帶著鼠夾回到家里，但她沒有在碗櫥里找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店里去，因為已經(jīng)很晚了。于是，她就從一份雜志中剪下一幅奶酪的圖片放進了夾子。

令人稱奇的是，這畫有奶酪的圖片竟然奏效了！第二天早上，這位女士下樓到廚房時，發(fā)現(xiàn)鼠夾里奶酪圖片旁有一張畫有老鼠的圖片！

I Taught the Teacher

Mother asked her boy， “Darling， what did the teacher teach you today？”

“Nothing， Mum，” answered the son proudly， “instead， she asked me what one and two was， and I told her three.”

我教老師

媽媽問她的兒子：“寶貝，今天老師教你些什么？”

兒子驕傲地說：“什么也沒教，媽媽，她反倒問我一加二等于多少，我告訴她是三?！?/p>

Im All Right

A stormy night， Mum went upstairs to her sons bedroom in case he was frightened by the thunder and lightning.

“Are you all right， Darling？” she asked softy.

“Yes， Mum， “said her son. “Is that Dad mucking about with the telly again？”

我沒事

一個暴風雨的晚上，媽媽到樓上兒子的房間去看看他，怕他被雷電嚇著。

“寶貝，你沒事吧？”媽媽輕聲地問。

“沒事，”兒子說，“是不是爸爸又在亂開電視機了？”

I Got an A in English

Peter is showing his report card to his Mum， who looks excited. Mum calls to her husband， “Hey， Tom， come and look at this report—I got an A in English.”

我英語得了A

彼得把自己成績單拿給媽媽看，媽媽興奮得叫丈夫：“嗨，湯姆，快來看這張成績單——我英語得了A。”

A Thank-you letter

“Are you writing a thank-you letter to Grandma as I told you？”

“Yes， Mum.”

“Your handwriting seems very large.”

“Well， Grandma is deaf， so Im writing very loud.”

一封感謝信

“你在按照我說的給奶奶寫感謝信嗎？”

“是的，媽媽?！?/p>

“你的字寫得好象太大了?！?/p>

“喔，奶奶的耳朵不好，所以我寫得大聲點兒?！?/p>

Ground Rules

One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class， he said， “Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring， so I dont mind if you look at your watches during class. I do， however， object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure theyre still running.”

基本原則

位于吉拉多海角的密蘇里東南州立大學有一位我非常喜歡的老師，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在對一個新生班級講解他的基本原則時，他說：“我知道我的講課可能經(jīng)常會枯燥乏味，了無生趣，所以如果你們在上課時看表我并不介意。不過我堅決反對你們將表在課桌上猛敲看它們是不是還在走。”

Believe in yourself

A professor stood before his class of 20 senior organic biology students， about to hand out the final exam.

“I want to say that its been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know youve all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week， anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a ‘B for the course.”

There was much rejoicing amongst the class as students got up， passed by the professor to thank him and sign out on his offer. As the last taker left the room， the professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked， “Any one else？ This is your last chance.” One final student rose up and took the offer.

The professor closed the door and took attendance of those students remaining. “Im glad to see you believe in yourself.” he said. “You all have ‘A s.”

相信自己

一位有機生物學教授站在20名高年級的學生面前，正準備發(fā)期末考試的試卷。

“我要說的是，這個學期能夠教你們我感到非常榮幸。我明白你們都很努力，你們中的許多人在暑假之后就要去醫(yī)學院深造了。為了避免同學們因為參與本周末過多的慶?；顒佣绊懥藢W習成績，所以有誰愿意放棄這次考試，就可以得‘B。”

許多學生異常驚喜，一個接一個地站了起來，從教授身邊走過，對他表示感謝，并在紙上簽了名。等到最后一個選擇放棄的學生走出教室后，教授看著剩下的同學問：“還有嗎？這是你們的最后機會了?！苯K于，還是有一名同學站了起來，接受了建議。

教授關上門，清點了一下剩余的同學，說道：“我非常高興看到你們能夠相信自己，你們都得‘A?！?/p>