?

愿意為之而死的腿

Penguin： I've been invited to a party.

企鵝：我被邀請參加一個派對。

John： Then why so sad？

John：那為什么這么傷心？

Penguin： The invitation said "dress casual".

企鵝：邀請說：“穿休閑服”。

I wanted to buy something online so I bargained with the customer service.From service No.I to 5，no one agreed to cut down the price.Then No. 6 replied："Honey， don't try to bargain anymore. I'm the only customer service！"

今天在網(wǎng)上看上幾樣?xùn)|西，就找客服談價錢，客服1不答應(yīng)就找客2。直到找到客服6，對方回話：“親，您別磨了，客服1—7都是我一人！”

Fat broad： Would you say I had "great legs" or "legs to die for"？

胖妞：你會說我有“美腿”還是“愿意為之而死的腿”？

Peter： Ah…both？…

彼得：啊…？…都、都有吧～

Fat broad： Thank you.

胖妞：謝謝。

Peter： For a minute there，I had visions of being kicked to death.

彼得：死于這雙腿的唯一方式就是--被踢到死。

My girlfriend asked me："What to do with my Procrastination？" Oh. my god！ I got angry："You have procrastination？ You always rip them open right away when packages are delivered to you， stop the alarm right away when it rings， eat them up right away when you see snacks. How dare you tell me you have procrastination？"

女友對我說：“我有拖延癥怎么辦？”哎呀，我就火了：“你有嗎？快遞一來你就拆，鬧鐘一響你就按，零食一開你就吃，你還跟我說你有拖延癥？”

Slow down.

慢下來

Dookie bird： Hey， how come you stopped？ It says "slow down".

Dookie：嘿，你怎么停下來了？上面說“慢下來”。

John the Tortoise： Sorry. In turtle parlance that's the next gear down from “move”.

約翰小龜：對不起。在我們?yōu)觚斀纾奥聛怼边@個詞的速度僅次于“動起來”。

Three Whistles

I promised my girlfriend a gold necklace for her birthday， but when the jeweler quoted a price for one we liked， I let out a long，low whistle. "And how much are they then？" I asked， pointing to another tray.

"You， sir，" replied the jeweler，"about three whistles."

三聲口哨

我答應(yīng)過我的女朋友過生日進送她一條金項鏈?？墒钱?dāng)珠寶商報出我們看中的那條項鏈的價格時，我低低地打了個長口哨?！澳沁@條項鏈多少錢呢？”我指著另一個盤子里的項鏈問。

“先生，對你來說，”珠寶商答道，“大約值三聲口哨。”

I Have Legs to Die for