從害羞男孩到可靠盟友

David+Hammer

I remember the day as clear as glass. I was in 6th grade and my teacher had just announced it was recess， a time we were allowed to eat snacks and move around the classroom. But on that day， break time would have been a much more fitting phrase—I had reached a breaking point.

My friend sat across from1） me. Two classmates who were attention seekers were teasing him again. They did something mean to him every day. On this day， they were singing a song about him： "Chicken， chicken Josh." They sang relentlessly2）， while the teacher chose to ignore them. Those words were like a bite of jalape?o3） to my friend， who turned red with rage and embarrassment， while tears of frustration dripped from his eyes. This made the other kids in class laugh. I could see how hopeless he felt.

On other days， they would steal his school supplies， call his sister ugly， and make fun of his big head.

Normally， I would just sit and watch it all. I was very shy. I rarely spoke during recess or raised my hand in class. I was so shy， in fact， that the school assigned me a social worker. In an effort to get me to participate more， she made me a chart to check off4） every time I raised my hand. She said I&apos；d receive a prize if I filled it up. But I never did. It didn&apos；t help with my shyness； it just made me more self-conscious. I felt like my teacher and social worker were too focused on me.

But on this particular day， I took a stand. I&apos；d had enough. I stood up and shouted， "Leave him alone！" Silence broke out， all eyes in the room locked on me. But the silence was short-lived as everyone went back to enjoying their break. For the rest of the day， every time the bullies would taunt my friend during class， I would scream， "Stop annoying him，" or， "It wouldn&apos；t hurt to be nice，" or， "You don&apos；t have to be mean."

But these words didn&apos；t help. In fact， it made the situation worse： I too became a victim. That afternoon， the two bullies began to make up songs about me. My friend said， "Looks like you&apos；re a target now."

That night， I told my father about what had happened. He begged me to forget about it until after winter break， which started the next day. I did my best to do that.

Now I&apos；m the Target

When it was time to return to school in February， I was nervous. I thought to myself， "What if they bully me？ What will I do？" But then I thought， "Maybe it was only a one-day thing， maybe they forgot about me." It was this mindset that gave me the courage I needed that early February day.

Boy， was I wrong！ In the early afternoon my tormentors5） began to whisper songs about me. They chanted， pronouncing my name in a different dialect to show I was different from them.

This mocking and disrespect upset me a lot. I felt helpless. Here&apos；s how a typical afternoon went： I&apos；d hear the bullies whispering songs about me. Nobody heard them except me and it upset me so much I couldn&apos；t stand it another second.

"Stop！" I screamed. My teacher turned from the whiteboard and said to me， "Don&apos；t interrupt the class."

"But they are making up songs about me！"

"I don&apos；t care. Ignore them."

Speaking Up

A few weeks later， I spoke to my teacher after class. He promised to help me with the conflict and even volunteered to tell my two other teachers about it. It was a relief hearing comforting language from a grown-up. I thought， "Maybe I can help my friend and myself and end our trouble." But the disciplinary6） method my teacher used couldn&apos；t force a rock to stay still.

Speaking Up—Again

This was the case every day until a few weeks later， when I decided to talk to my social worker.

She told me， "David， no one deserves to be bullied. I want you to keep me up-to-date on this. I&apos；m going to handle it."

"What if the bullies find out I told on7） them？"

"Everything is going to be fine. I want you to promise me you won&apos；t worry about the bullies； I will take care of everything. I&apos；m going to notify your teachers that whenever you want to speak to me， you can come to my office."

My confidence soared after that conversation. I was a bold eagle. I flew up the stairs back to class.

But she didn&apos；t take care of it. The rogues8） continued to harass me and my friend. The only change was that now I had my social worker to talk to. Whenever I felt hopeless， I went to her office. One day， she finally said： "David， I think it&apos；s time to get the principal involved."

"I don&apos；t know if I like that idea，" I said hesitantly. "Let&apos；s say my enemies find out from the principal that I spoke to her. Then what？ They&apos；ll threaten me."

"David， I don&apos；t know what the principal will do， but whatever she does it will be for your own good."

I didn&apos；t want to be the guy who gets other kids in trouble， but it had to be done.

當(dāng)校園欺凌事件發(fā)生在你身邊，你會(huì)置之不理還是伸出援手？你要相信，幫助別人就是幫助自己。

我依然清楚地記得那一天。當(dāng)時(shí)我上六年級(jí)，老師剛剛宣布下課，課間休息時(shí)我們可以吃吃東西，在教室里轉(zhuǎn)悠轉(zhuǎn)悠。但那天，爆發(fā)時(shí)間也許是個(gè)更合適的詞語(yǔ)——我當(dāng)時(shí)達(dá)到了爆發(fā)點(diǎn)。

我朋友當(dāng)時(shí)坐在我對(duì)面，兩個(gè)平時(shí)就喜歡出風(fēng)頭的同學(xué)又開(kāi)始戲弄他。他們每天都會(huì)對(duì)我朋友做一些不友好的事情。那天，他們?cè)诔皇钻P(guān)于他的歌：“膽小鬼，膽小鬼喬什。”他們唱個(gè)不停，而老師卻選擇視而不見(jiàn)。那些話對(duì)我朋友來(lái)說(shuō)像咬了一口墨西哥胡椒一樣，他既憤怒又窘迫，臉都紅了，沮喪的淚水從他眼里吧嗒吧嗒往下掉。這一幕讓班上其他孩子哈哈大笑起來(lái)。我能看得出他有多無(wú)助。

其他日子里，他們會(huì)偷偷拿走他的學(xué)習(xí)用品，說(shuō)他妹妹長(zhǎng)得丑，還取笑他的腦袋大。

通常，我只是坐看發(fā)生的一切。那時(shí)的我非常害羞。我一般不怎么在課間休息時(shí)說(shuō)話，也很少在課堂上舉手。我太過(guò)害羞了，事實(shí)上，學(xué)校都給我指派了一位社工。這位社工為了讓我更多地參與課堂，給我做了一張表，讓我每舉一次手都在表上打個(gè)鉤。她說(shuō)如果我能把那張表上的格子都打滿鉤，我就會(huì)收到一份禮物。不過(guò)我從沒(méi)填滿過(guò)那張表，它對(duì)我克服害羞一點(diǎn)幫助都沒(méi)有，只是讓我更難為情而已。我覺(jué)得我的老師和社工有點(diǎn)過(guò)度關(guān)注我。

但就是在這一天，我表明了我的立場(chǎng)。我受夠了。我站起來(lái)喊道：“離他遠(yuǎn)點(diǎn)！”教室里瞬間鴉雀無(wú)聲，所有人的目光都鎖定在我身上。不過(guò)這一瞬的安靜沒(méi)有持續(xù)多久，大家很快就又開(kāi)始享受他們的休息時(shí)間。那天余下的時(shí)間里，每當(dāng)那些恃強(qiáng)凌弱的家伙在課堂上欺負(fù)我朋友，我都會(huì)沖著他們尖叫：“別再煩他了”或“對(duì)別人好一點(diǎn)你們又不會(huì)掉塊肉”或“你們沒(méi)必要這么刻薄”。

不過(guò)這些話沒(méi)什么用。事實(shí)上，這讓情況更糟了：我也變成了受害者。那天下午，那兩個(gè)小霸王開(kāi)始編關(guān)于我的歌。我朋友說(shuō)：“看來(lái)現(xiàn)在你被他們盯上了?！?/p>

那天晚上，我把發(fā)生的事都告訴了父親。他請(qǐng)我忘記這件事，等到寒假過(guò)完再說(shuō)。第二天就是寒假了，我盡力按他說(shuō)的去做。

現(xiàn)在我成了目標(biāo)

當(dāng)2月份該返校的時(shí)候，我非常緊張。我自思自忖，“如果他們欺負(fù)我怎么辦？我要怎么做？”不過(guò)我接著又想，“也許這只是一天的事兒，他們也許已經(jīng)把我忘在腦后了?！本褪沁@樣的想法給了我在2月初的那天去學(xué)校所需的勇氣。

天，我錯(cuò)得多么離譜！那天下午剛開(kāi)始，折磨我的那兩個(gè)惡魔就開(kāi)始悄聲唱著關(guān)于我的歌。他們?cè)诟枥镉貌煌姆窖猿业拿忠员硎疚腋麄儾煌?/p>

這樣的嘲弄和無(wú)禮讓我非常心煩，我覺(jué)得很無(wú)助。我的下午一貫都是這樣度過(guò)的：我會(huì)聽(tīng)到那兩個(gè)小霸王小聲唱關(guān)于我的歌，這些歌除了我沒(méi)人能聽(tīng)到，這讓我心煩意亂得多一秒都忍受不下去。

“別唱了！”我大喊。老師從白板前轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身來(lái)，對(duì)我說(shuō)：“別擾亂課堂?！?/p>

“但是他們?cè)诰庩P(guān)于我的歌！”

“我不關(guān)心這個(gè)，別理他們?！?/p>

說(shuō)出來(lái)

幾周后，我在課下跟老師說(shuō)了這件事。他答應(yīng)會(huì)幫我解決矛盾，甚至主動(dòng)把這件事告訴了我的其他兩位老師。聽(tīng)到一個(gè)成年人的安慰話語(yǔ)，真是一種寬慰。我想，“也許我能幫助我和我的朋友結(jié)束這些麻煩事?！钡抢蠋熓褂玫挠?xùn)誡方法并不管用。

再次發(fā)聲

這樣的情況每天發(fā)生，直到幾周后我決定告訴我的社工。

她對(duì)我說(shuō)：“大衛(wèi)，沒(méi)人活該被欺負(fù)。我希望你能繼續(xù)告訴我這件事的進(jìn)展。我會(huì)處理的?！?/p>

“如果那兩個(gè)家伙發(fā)現(xiàn)我告了他們的狀怎么辦？”

“沒(méi)事的。我希望你向我保證你不會(huì)再擔(dān)心那兩個(gè)小霸王，我會(huì)處理一切。我要報(bào)告你的老師，如果你想跟我說(shuō)話，不管什么時(shí)間都可以來(lái)我辦公室?！?/p>

這場(chǎng)談話后，我的信心飛漲。我是只勇敢的雄鷹，一路飛奔上樓回到了教室。

但是她并沒(méi)有處理好這件事。那兩個(gè)調(diào)皮鬼還是繼續(xù)欺負(fù)我和我的朋友。唯一的改變是現(xiàn)在我可以跟我的社工傾訴這件事了。每當(dāng)我覺(jué)得無(wú)助的時(shí)候我就去她的辦公室。終于有一天，她說(shuō)：“大衛(wèi)，我覺(jué)得是時(shí)候讓校長(zhǎng)來(lái)處理這件事了?！?/p>

“我不知道這是不是個(gè)好主意，”我遲疑地說(shuō)，“如果我的死對(duì)頭從校長(zhǎng)那里知道我向她告過(guò)狀該怎么辦？他們會(huì)威脅我的?！?/p>

“大衛(wèi)，我不知道校長(zhǎng)會(huì)怎么做，但是不管她做什么，都是為了你好?！?/p>

我不想成為找其他孩子麻煩的人，不過(guò)這件事必須做。

Pride and Relief

My meeting with the principal didn&apos；t take place for a month. Once inside her office， she assured me I would be safe if I talked， so I did.

When I finished， she said， "David， I&apos；m going to speak to the two kids separately， and there will be consequences for their actions."

"But I never intended to get the bullies in trouble. I just want them to stop harassing me."

"I hear you， but you and your friend weren&apos；t the only children who were bullied by these two boys. It won&apos；t be tolerated."

I had no idea other kids were being bullied too. On my way back to class， I felt proud that I had spoken up. I also felt worry about the unknown， and relief now that the deed was done.

The boys stopped bullying my friend and me immediately after the meeting. I later found out one wasn&apos；t admitted back to school the next year， while the other one was allowed to come back but only after he turned in extra summer homework as punishment.

The following year， something surprising happened. I slowly began talking to the bully who stayed in my school. First we just started nodding hello to each other in the halls. Then we began to have conversations. Today， it&apos；s as if a giant eraser erased the pages of our troubled past.

This experience helped me change gradually from a shy person who wouldn&apos；t even raise his hand in class to someone who takes pride in voicing his opinions. I also learned that if I believe something is wrong， I should speak up， even if it means standing out. And if adults or others in power don&apos；t pay attention to you， don&apos；t give up. It took months of me reaching out to different adults in my school until eventually someone listened and helped me.

驕傲和解脫

我一個(gè)月之后才去見(jiàn)了校長(zhǎng)。一進(jìn)到辦公室，她就向我保證如果我把事情都說(shuō)出來(lái)我會(huì)安然無(wú)恙，所以我告訴了她。

我說(shuō)完后，她說(shuō)：“大衛(wèi)，我會(huì)跟那兩個(gè)孩子單獨(dú)談?wù)?，他們要為自己的行為承?dān)后果。”

“但是我從沒(méi)打算要讓他們吃苦頭，我只想讓他們別再騷擾我了?！?/p>

“你的意見(jiàn)我都聽(tīng)到了，不過(guò)你和你的朋友并不是唯一被這兩個(gè)孩子欺凌的人。這種行為不能被容忍?！?/p>

我完全不知道其他孩子也被欺凌了。在回教室的路上，我為自己感到驕傲，因?yàn)槲艺f(shuō)出來(lái)了。但我同時(shí)又覺(jué)得憂心，不知道會(huì)發(fā)生什么，還覺(jué)得松了口氣，該做的都已經(jīng)做了。

那次會(huì)面后，那兩個(gè)孩子立即就不再欺負(fù)我和我的朋友了。后來(lái)我才知道其中一個(gè)孩子在第二年不允許返校，而另一個(gè)則是在額外提交了一份暑假作業(yè)作為懲罰后才被允許回校就讀。

接下來(lái)那年，令人驚訝的事情發(fā)生了。我慢慢地開(kāi)始跟那個(gè)留在校內(nèi)的孩子說(shuō)話了。最開(kāi)始，我們只是在大廳里互相點(diǎn)頭打招呼。后來(lái)我們開(kāi)始有了對(duì)話。如今，我們倆那不愉快的過(guò)去就好像被一塊巨大的橡皮擦擦掉了。

這段經(jīng)歷幫助我逐漸從一個(gè)害羞到甚至不敢在課堂舉手的人變成了一個(gè)會(huì)為說(shuō)出自己意見(jiàn)而感到驕傲的人。我還明白了，如果我認(rèn)為某件事情是錯(cuò)的，那就應(yīng)該說(shuō)出來(lái)，即使這意味著引人注目。如果成年人或是其他有權(quán)的人沒(méi)有注意到你，也不要放棄。我用了好幾個(gè)月時(shí)間向?qū)W校里不同的成年人求助，直到最后有人傾聽(tīng)，并幫助了我。

1. sit across from： 坐在對(duì)面

2. relentlessly [r??lentl?sli] adv. 持續(xù)地；不停地

3. jalape?o [?h?l??pe?nj??] n. 墨西哥胡椒

4. check off： （核對(duì)無(wú)誤后）在……打鉤

5. tormentor [t???ment?（r）] n. 折磨他人的人

6. disciplinary [?d?s?pl?n?ri] adj. 以懲戒方法實(shí)施紀(jì)律的，懲戒（性）的

7. tell on： 告發(fā)

8. rogue [r??ɡ] n. 調(diào)皮鬼