By Sun jiahui(孫佳慧)

CAN YOU SPARE SOME CHANGE?

By Sun jiahui(孫佳慧)

Linguistic advice for when you’re broke and need a loan

人生在世，總歸避不開借錢與還錢那些事兒

your true friends will be there through thick and thin, good and bad—unless you need money. oh, yes, your friends will be there when you want to talk about your colorectal surgery or Big Bang Theory fan fiction, but the moment you need a loan, you’ll find them staring at their shoes and kicking the dirt. Nothing kills a good friendship like loaning or borrowing cash, but, sometimes you have no other choice. Here are some tips on asking for a handout in Chinese without killing your friendships.

The first thing that one should keep in mind is that you should probably not use the word “money.” People prefer to describe their difficulty in a more euphemistic manner; for that there is 手頭緊 (shǒutóu jǐn), which roughly means “tight fists.”If you don’t want to give a specific description about what happened to you, you can go with this all-purpose term:

It’s hard to explain, but recently my fists are a little tight. So, I have to come to you for help.

Zhēn bù hǎoyìsi kāikǒu, dànshì wǒ zuìjn shǒutóu yǒudiǎnr jǐn, zhǐhǎo zhǎo nǐ bāngmáng.

真不好意思開口，但是我最近手頭有點兒緊，只好找你幫忙。

There you go. Now no one needs to know that you gambled all your money away or that you spent it on that nice Nigerian prince you met online. It’s hard to explain, so cough up. They may ask:

Well, how much do you need?

Nǐ xūyào duōshao qián?

你需要多少錢？

Say the number and add “你方便嗎 (Nǐ fāngbiàn ma)?” This “Are you convenient?” has at least two meanings: “Do you have enough money at hand?” and “Are you willing to lend it to me?” Regardless, it looks like a yes-or-no question.

A: I need 5,000 RMB. Is that convenient?

Wǒ xūyào wǔqiān kuài qián. Nǐ fāngbiàn ma ?

我需要五千塊錢。你方便嗎？

B: I just have 3,000 at hand.

Wǒ xiànzài shǒutóu zhǐyǒu sānqiān.

我現(xiàn)在手頭只有三千。

A: That will also help. Could you lend it to me now?

Nà yě x!ng. Néng xiān jiè gěi wǒ ma?

那也行。能先借給我嗎？

Nobody likes lending money, so if they hesitate, it’s human nature; some people would more happily part with a limb than their beloved, precious money. You need to win their trust. For example, you could make a promise about the return date and explain how the interest will be paid. Heck, write them a receipt if it makes them feel better.

A: I will return your money in three months with interest. I am writing a receipt.

sān gè yuè zhīhòu, lián běn dài lì huán gěi nǐ, wǒ zhè jiù xiě jiètiáo.

三個月之后，連本帶利還給你，我這就寫借條。

B: You don’t need to do that.

Búyòng zhème máfan.

不用這么麻煩。

A: I insist. It’s said that, ‘Financial matters should be settled clearly even between brothers.’

háishi yào de. Qīnxiōngdi m!ng suànzhàng ma.

還是要的。親兄弟明算賬嘛。

To end The conVerSaTion quickly, The BeST meThod iS To make iT clear ThaT you haVe no money

Lending to a friend who’s genuinely in need can be like delivering coal on a cold, snowy day, or 雪中送炭 (xuě zhōng sòng tàn). As a general rule, 救急不救窮 (jiù j! bú jiù qióng), that is, you lend financial aid to those in an emergency, but not those who are perennially in need of money. If you find yourself in the position of the lender facing a not-so-urgent situation, you won’t want to say “no.” You’ll tapdance around it, but you don’t want to look like a jerk. For this tactic, some pretexts are necessary.

If it’s not obvious, you need to plead poverty. To end the conversation quickly, the best method is to make it clear that you have no money. Based on this principle, the only thing you need to do is to give some believable whereabouts for your cash.

I’d like to, but all my money is tied up in stocks.

Wǒ yě xiǎng jiè gěi nǐ, dàn shǒushang de qián dōu bèi gǔpiào tàoláo le.

我也想借給你，但手上的錢都被股票套牢了。

or, the “Double 11” shopping circus can be blamed.

If only you’d come to me a week earlier! I spent my paycheck during Double 11.

Nǐ yàoshi shàng gè xīngqī lái zhǎo wǒ jiù hǎo le! Wǒ shuāngsh!yī bǎ gōngzī dōu huā le.

你要是上個星期來找我就好了！我雙十一把工資都花了。

The second strategy is finding a scapegoat, claiming that you are not the one who controls the purse strings. Just transfer the responsibility to your parents or spouse and say that you have no say in financial matters.

My wife manages the money in our family and I am afraid she won’t agree.

Wǒmen jiā shì wǒ lǎopo guǎn qián, kǒngpà tā búhuì tóngyì.

我們家是我老婆管錢，恐怕她不會同意。

The most effective way to avoid lenders is to live a low-key life and show them you don’t have much to offer. Nip any attempt to borrow money in the bud. Folk wisdom tells us: if you are poor, no one bothers visiting even if you live downtown, but if you are wealthy, distant relatives come to your door even if you live deep inside a mountain. (貧居鬧市無人問，富在深山有遠親。P!ng jū nàoshì wú rén wèn, fù zài shēnshān yǒu yuǎnqīn.)

If you are faced with a true friend that you really care for, be as generous as you like, but remember that no matter how good of a friend they are, they may be a horrible debtor. When the deadline is due and they don’t have your money or a reasonable explanation, things can get very ugly.

a perhapS more machiaVellian approach Would Be To aSk afTer Their Well-Being

As we say in Chinese, 欠債還錢，天經(jīng)地義。(Qiànzhài huánqián, tiān jīng dì yì. Paying back debts is a mandate of heaven.) Still, be gentle.

A: I have a vague recollection that I lent you some money. Is that right?

Wǒ yǐnyuē jìde hǎoxiàng jiè guò qián gěi nǐ. Yǒu zhè hu! shì ma ?

我隱約記得好像借過錢給你。有這回事嗎？

B: Yes, you did. I will return the money tomorrow.

shì de, wǒ m!ngtiān huán nǐ.

是的,我明天還你。

A: No rush. I was just asking.

Bù zháoj!, wǒ jiùshi wèn y!xià.

不著急，我就是問一下。

A perhaps more Machiavellian approach would be to ask after their well-being.

A: The other day you said you were kind of hard up. Is everything oK now? Do you need some more loans?

Nà tiān nǐ shuō shǒutóu yǒudiǎnr jǐn. Xiànzài zěnme yàng le? Xū bu xū yào zài jiè nǐ diǎnr qián?

那天你說手頭有點兒緊?，F(xiàn)在怎么樣了？需不需要再借你點兒錢?

B: The problem is solved, all thanks to

your help. I will return the money soon. Wènt! yǐjīng jiějué le, duōkuī nǐ bāngmáng. Wǒ huì jǐ nkuài huánqián.

問題已經(jīng)解決了，多虧你幫忙。我會盡快還錢。

This is a very risky strategy, however, because they may actually need to borrow more and you’ve just painted yourself into a corner. So feel free to make up your own excuse.

A: I am sorry to ask, but there’s an

emergency. Can you give me that money I lent you last time?

Bù hǎoyìsi, wǒ yǒu jǐnj! q!ngkuàng. Nǐ néng bǎ shàng cì de qián huán gěi wǒ ma?

不好意思，我有緊急情況。你能把

上次的錢還給我嗎？

Whether you’re the lender or borrower, it’s always good to pay your debts on time. Remember: 好借好還，再借不難 (hǎo jiè hǎo huán, zài jiè bù nán. Return what you borrow on time, you’ll be welcome to borrow next time).