特約撰稿人_Brian 編輯_如是觀 設(shè)計(jì)_李陽(yáng)

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《紐約時(shí)報(bào)》年度精選文書(shū)到底好在哪？

特約撰稿人_Brian 編輯_如是觀 設(shè)計(jì)_李陽(yáng)

美國(guó)大學(xué)對(duì)申請(qǐng)文書(shū)要求繁多，字?jǐn)?shù)、主題等五花八門(mén)的要求往往令中國(guó)申請(qǐng)者頭疼，很多同學(xué)閉門(mén)造車(chē)良久，卻依然沒(méi)有摸到門(mén)道。頂尖大學(xué)究竟青睞怎樣富有深度和個(gè)性特點(diǎn)的優(yōu)秀文書(shū)呢？作為慣例，《紐約時(shí)報(bào)》每年都會(huì)挑選并刊登美國(guó)大學(xué)優(yōu)秀申請(qǐng)文書(shū)，棒呆留學(xué)從申請(qǐng)角度對(duì)這些范文進(jìn)行了深入剖析，并對(duì)文書(shū)的寫(xiě)作提供了建議，給眼下正在為文書(shū)煩惱的學(xué)生一些啟發(fā)。

My Dell hid my privilege and my Mac hid my financial need（戴爾和Mac，特權(quán)和財(cái)務(wù)需求之爭(zhēng)）（原文刊載于《紐約時(shí)報(bào)》2017.5.13）

原文

The most exciting part was the laptop.

最讓人興奮的部分是那臺(tái)筆記本電腦。

My mom grabbed the thick envelope out of my hands and read off the amenities associated with the Tang Scholarship to Phillips Academy: full tuition for all four years, a free summer trip, $20 a week for me to spend on all the Cheetos and nail polish my heart desired, and finally, a free laptop.

母親從我手上奪過(guò)那個(gè)厚厚的信封，念出菲利普斯學(xué)院唐氏獎(jiǎng)學(xué)金能給我?guī)?lái)的好處：整整四年的學(xué)費(fèi)，一次免費(fèi)夏季旅行，每周給我20美元，讓我可以買(mǎi)我想要的奇多和指甲油，還有，一臺(tái)免費(fèi)的筆記本電腦。

I had never had a computer of my own before, and to me the prospect symbolized a world of new possibilities. I was the only student from my public middle school I knew to ever go to an elite boarding school, and it felt like being invited into a selective club. My first week at Andover, dazed by its glamour and newness, I fought my way to the financial aid office to pick up the laptop; I sent my mom a photo of me grinning and clutching the cardboard box. Back in my dorm room, I pulled out my prize, a heavy but functional Dell, and marveled at its sleek edges, its astonishing speed.

之前我從來(lái)沒(méi)有擁有過(guò)屬于自己的電腦，對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，這象征著一個(gè)充滿全新可能性的世界。據(jù)我所知，我是我那個(gè)公立中學(xué)唯一一個(gè)去精英寄宿學(xué)校上學(xué)的學(xué)生，這感覺(jué)像是受到一個(gè)精英俱樂(lè)部的邀請(qǐng)。我在安多佛的第一個(gè)星期，它的光芒和新奇使我覺(jué)得眼花繚亂，我好不容易找到經(jīng)濟(jì)資助辦公室，領(lǐng)到了我的筆記本電腦；我還發(fā)給我媽一張拿著紙箱咧嘴大笑的照片?；氐轿业乃奚幔胰〕鑫业莫?jiǎng)勵(lì)，一臺(tái)很重但有許多功能的戴爾，并驚嘆于它光滑的線條和驚人的處理速度。

But the love story of my laptop came clamoring to a halt. In the library, as I stumbled to negotiate a space to fit in, I watched my friends each pull out a MacBook. Each was paper-thin and seemingly weightless. And mine, heavy enough to hurt my back and constantly sighing like a tired dog, was distinctly out of place. My laptop, which I had thought was my

作者：Z?eSottile 高中：Phillips Academy Andover 目標(biāo)院校: Columbia Universityticket to the elite world of Andover, actually gave me away as the outsider I was.

但是我對(duì)戴爾的愛(ài)卻戛然而止。在圖書(shū)館，當(dāng)我笨拙地想找個(gè)地方坐下來(lái)，我看到我的每個(gè)朋友都拿出了一臺(tái)MacBook。每一個(gè)都薄如紙片，看起來(lái)十分輕盈。而我的戴爾呢，立刻顯得格格不入起來(lái)，重的好似能拖垮我的背，還像一只累壞的狗那樣不停發(fā)出聲響。本來(lái)我以為這臺(tái)戴爾是我通向安多佛精英世界的入場(chǎng)券，但實(shí)際上卻暴露了我是個(gè)外來(lái)者的事實(shí)。

For a long time, this was the crux of my Andover experience: always an outsider. When I hung out with wealthier friends, I was disoriented by how different their lives were from mine. While they spent summers in Prague or Paris, I spent mine mining the constellation of thrift stores around New Haven. The gap between fullscholarship and full-pay felt insurmountable.

很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間內(nèi)，這一直是我在安多佛體驗(yàn)中的一大難題：總是作為一個(gè)局外人。當(dāng)我和比我有錢(qián)的朋友出去閑逛，我都能看到他們的生活和我的生活有多不同，這讓我感覺(jué)不知所措。當(dāng)他們整個(gè)暑假都在布拉格或者巴黎度假時(shí)，我在紐黑文附近的眾多二手商店淘著舊貨。全額獎(jiǎng)學(xué)金和全自費(fèi)之間的差距感覺(jué)無(wú)法跨越。

But I also felt like an outsider going to meetings for the full-scholarship affinity group. My parents attended college and grew up wealthier than I did, giving me cultural capital many of my fullscholarship friends never had access to. Moreover, I’m white and could afford occasional concert tickets or sparkly earrings. The laptop, carried by all full-scholarship students and coded with hidden meanings, pivoted my friends’ understandings of me. At home, I grew up middle class, then became the privileged prep school girl. But at Andover, suddenly, I was poor. Trying to reconcile these conflicting identities, I realized how complex and mutable class is. My class is connected to my parents’ income, but it’s also rooted in cultural knowledge and objects that are charged with greater meaning.

氣象導(dǎo)航誕生于20世紀(jì)50年代，發(fā)展到今天，已經(jīng)成為一門(mén)學(xué)科。實(shí)踐也證明氣象導(dǎo)航明顯地提高了船舶航行的安全性，其主要表現(xiàn)在以下幾個(gè)方面：

但是，就算去參加面向全獎(jiǎng)生的活動(dòng)，我依舊感覺(jué)自己像個(gè)局外人。我的父母上過(guò)大學(xué)，他們生長(zhǎng)的家庭條件也比我好，這給了我一些和我一樣拿全額獎(jiǎng)學(xué)金的朋友從來(lái)沒(méi)有的文化資本。此外，我是個(gè)白人，能夠負(fù)擔(dān)偶爾去聽(tīng)演唱會(huì)和買(mǎi)亮閃閃耳飾的費(fèi)用。全獎(jiǎng)生都擁有的那臺(tái)被賦予隱含意義的戴爾筆記本，支撐起了我朋友對(duì)我的解讀。在家里，我生長(zhǎng)于中產(chǎn)階級(jí)，然后還成為了幸運(yùn)的預(yù)科生。但是在安多佛，突然我就變成了窮人。在試圖協(xié)調(diào)這些矛盾的身份定位過(guò)程中，我意識(shí)到了，階級(jí)這個(gè)東西是如何的復(fù)雜易變。我的階級(jí)和我父母的收入有關(guān)，但它也根植于文化知識(shí)和那些被賦予了更宏大意義的事物中。

Which brings me back to the laptop: in the middle of my senior fall, my exhausted Dell broke and I couldn’t afford another. When I managed to borrow a slim Mac from my school, I felt the walls around me reorient. I hoped that now I wouldn’t have to think about the electric web of privilege and power every time I sent an email. Instead, I felt a new anxiety: I worried when I sat in the magnificent dining hall with my beautiful computer that I had lost an important part of my identity.

后來(lái)發(fā)生了一件事又讓我的注意力回到這臺(tái)筆記本：在高三的秋天，我那近乎報(bào)廢的戴爾終于用壞了，我又沒(méi)錢(qián)再買(mǎi)一臺(tái)。當(dāng)我成功從學(xué)校借了一臺(tái)輕薄的Mac筆記本時(shí)，我感覺(jué)我周?chē)氖澜缭俅胃淖兞?。我那時(shí)希望，今后每當(dāng)我發(fā)電郵時(shí)，不需要去考慮那張?zhí)貦?quán)和權(quán)力的電子網(wǎng)。但是，我卻感到了一種新的焦慮：我擔(dān)心，當(dāng)我?guī)е移恋墓P記本坐在華麗的食堂時(shí)，我就已經(jīng)丟失了自己身份的一個(gè)重要部分。

When I started at Andover, these constant dueling tensions felt like a trap: like I would never be comfortable anywhere. (The school sensed it too, and all full-financial aid students now receive MacBooks.) But maybe it’s the opposite of a trap. Maybe I’m culturally ambidextrous, as comfortableintroducing a speaker on the stage of Andover’s century-old chapel as getting my nose pierced in a tattoo parlor in New Haven. My hyperawareness of how my Dell hid my privilege and how my Mac hid my financial need pushed me to be aware of what complicated stories were hiding behind my classmates’seemingly simple facades. I am a fullscholarship student who benefits from cultural, socioeconomic and racial privilege: my story isn’t easy, but it’s still mine.

當(dāng)我剛到安多佛時(shí)，這些不停歇的緊張狀態(tài)就像一個(gè)陷阱：待在哪里都無(wú)法自在（學(xué)校也有同感，現(xiàn)在所有全獎(jiǎng)生拿到的都是MacBook了）。但是可能這又走向了完全不同的另一種陷阱?；蛟S我在文化身份上是自由靈活的，站在安多佛百年禮堂的舞臺(tái)介紹演講者時(shí)，或在紐黑文的紋身店穿鼻環(huán)，我都是舒服自在的。我清楚地知道，戴爾筆記本掩蓋了我的特權(quán)，Mac則掩蓋了我的財(cái)務(wù)需要，這迫使我意識(shí)到，那掩藏在同學(xué)看起來(lái)簡(jiǎn)單的外表下，所存在的復(fù)雜故事。我是個(gè)受益于文化、社會(huì)經(jīng)濟(jì)和種族特權(quán)的全獎(jiǎng)生：我的故事并不容易，但它依舊是我自己的故事。

Brian點(diǎn)評(píng)

這是一篇立足于“不平等性和階級(jí)差異問(wèn)題”的文章，在2017年的4篇范文中，這是第2篇類似題材。

雖然作者年齡尚小，如此結(jié)構(gòu)性問(wèn)題對(duì)她而言比較宏大，但可貴的是，她并沒(méi)有在行文中流露出自怨自艾、逃避或者不滿于現(xiàn)實(shí)的情緒，相反，她特別客觀而勇敢地帶領(lǐng)讀者一起踏上了對(duì)自身階級(jí)認(rèn)知的旅途，這是一個(gè)出色的嘗試，尤其是她對(duì)自身處境感到自豪的結(jié)論，令人印象深刻，不落俗 套。

這篇文章中，作者運(yùn)用了一個(gè)非常重要的寫(xiě)作技巧，那就是“主題重現(xiàn)”。無(wú)論是戴爾還是蘋(píng)果電腦的反復(fù)出現(xiàn)，都在不經(jīng)意間讓讀者與早期的故事情節(jié)聯(lián)系起來(lái)，并幫助讀者從中聯(lián)想到不平等的概念。這是一種非常有用的文學(xué)技巧，它有助于將抽象的觀點(diǎn)具象化，引發(fā)讀者共鳴，對(duì)本文的成功功不可沒(méi)。

當(dāng)然，即便這篇文章有非常多的特點(diǎn)和成功之處，它所存在的問(wèn)題也是顯而易見(jiàn)的：作者過(guò)于強(qiáng)調(diào)社會(huì)和經(jīng)濟(jì)地位，未能進(jìn)一步展示和挖掘她的個(gè)人技能或者成長(zhǎng)因素。除了階級(jí)認(rèn)知外，文章似乎并未提及她自身的學(xué)習(xí)和進(jìn)步。如果站在成年人的角度來(lái)看，以擁有和朋友不同的電腦型號(hào)，來(lái)概括和總結(jié)描述她青年時(shí)代的成見(jiàn)，似乎顯得有些幼稚或者簡(jiǎn)單粗暴（我們很容易舉出不少反例，例如精英人士使用戴爾，非富裕階層使用蘋(píng)果等，在中國(guó)這樣的例子可能更多）。

此外，作為一個(gè)比較敏感的話題，提高自己“階級(jí)認(rèn)知”作為本文的立意雖然特別并能吸引眼球，但如果把握稍有不當(dāng)，很容易被誤解為簡(jiǎn)單的青少年嫉妒心理。

瑕不遮瑜，這篇文章的主題還是頗有巧思，文章帶有非常個(gè)人化的視角和客觀正面的思考，令人印象深刻。