欺凌(bullying)存在已久。然而來到網(wǎng)絡(luò)時代,欺凌又“進(jìn)化”到一個新階段——網(wǎng)絡(luò)欺凌(cyberbullying)。網(wǎng)絡(luò)欺凌是指人們利用互聯(lián)網(wǎng)做出針對個人或群體的,惡意、重復(fù)、敵意的傷害行為,致使其他人受到傷害。對于熱衷用社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)交流溝通的青少年來說,網(wǎng)絡(luò)欺凌的危害性更大。如果你或你的朋友曾經(jīng)受到網(wǎng)絡(luò)欺凌,請不要害怕,更不能有傷害自己的念頭。你要記住,還有很多人和你站在同一陣線。讓我們一起對網(wǎng)絡(luò)欺凌say no!
“I was like, ‘How can I make this all stop? How can I make this all go away,” Rachel Lemmons asked herself at a tipping point when high school bullying became more than she could handle.
“The only thing I could think about was killing myself and just taking my own self out of the situation. That would just be the easiest thing I could do.”
With social media, the main platform for communication among young Americans, taunting is no longer limited to school hours and can spread beyond the classroom. The potential for emotional damage to the victim is huge, especially for young girls, who are more likely to experience cyberbullying than boys, according to a study recently published in School Psychology Quarterly.
Psychologist Judith Margerum said if you got bullied before the computer age, “you went home, and there was no Internet. You were home and everything was good and you were safe there.”
But now, Margerum explained,“Its not just isolated to the school anymore. Its out. Its in your entire life, and theres nowhere to get away from it.”
Forty-three percent of teens have been victims of cyberbullying, according to research by the National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC). Almost 20 percent of teens have had a cyberbully pretend to be someone else in order to trick them online. And the results can be unbearable for victims.
“Horrible Mean Things”
Before her junior year in high school, Rachel Lemmons had everything going for her—excellent grades in school, supportive family, nice friends, and a caring boyfriend. But after a breakup with her boyfriend over the summer, all that changed. Her ex-boyfriends new girlfriend started some serious cyberbullying against her.
It started with prank text messages and then led to social media sites like Twitter.
“She made the Twitter account under her name, but then made it seem like I was the one Tweeting things off of the account and they were really horrible mean things,”Lemmons said. Then her peers began to turn against her as well.
“They were like,‘we all know that its you, Rachel. You need to stop.” Lemmons recalled being faced with threats from her classmates. “‘Were going to jump you. Were going to beat you up.”
These experiences are especially difficult for adolescents as friends become more important, Margerum explained.“When you get into adolescence, you compare yourself to your peer group and you look to your peer group to kind of see, do you fit in.”
“If your peer group starts to attack you,”Margerum says, “then youre going to start feeling bad about yourself, and thats going to impact your mood. So theres likely going to be depression.”
Some signs of bullying include: mood change, isolating oneself, distance from friends, and lack of interest in going to school.
Lemmons, whose grades were slipping, said she felt the latter. But, because of social media, skipping out didnt relieve her of the trouble. In her absence, her peers would tweet things like, “‘Hey, did you guys notice that the school smelled so much better today since Rachel wasnt there?” Lemmons said. Some of those Tweets were retweeted up to 50 times, spreading the hate to a much larger audience than the classroom.
“Dad Would Be Disappointed”
Such embarrassment pushed Lemmons to have suicidal thoughts. In general, youth bullied by their peers are more than twice as likely to report suicidal thoughts and more than three times more likely to report a suicide attempt, according to a study in the Journal of Pediatrics.
But despite having suicidal thoughts, Lemmons said the thought of hurting her family was a major deterrent. “I knew that if I were to kill myself, my dad would be so disappointed in me. And I just didnt want them to feel like that.”
For adolescents to overcome the emotional pain of bullying, they must regain feelings of self-worth. Margerum said bullying victims need to know that they do have power.
“Just because someone is bullying you, it doesnt make you a different person, it doesnt make you less worthwhile.”
“我當(dāng)時想:‘我怎樣才能讓這一切停止?我怎樣才能讓這一切消失?”在面對高中里的欺凌現(xiàn)象已經(jīng)束手無策時,接近臨界點的雷切爾·萊蒙斯這樣問自己。
“我能想到的唯一方法就是自殺,讓自己得到解脫。那是我能采取的最簡單的做法。”
隨著社交媒體成為美國青少年交流的主要平臺,同學(xué)之間的風(fēng)言風(fēng)語已經(jīng)不再局限于在校時段,而是擴散到了教室以外的地方。最近發(fā)表在《學(xué)校心理學(xué)季刊》的一項研究表明,受欺凌者可能受到巨大的情感傷害,尤其是年輕女孩,她們比男生更可能受到網(wǎng)絡(luò)欺凌。
心理學(xué)家朱迪思·瑪格倫姆說,在電腦時代以前,要是受到欺負(fù),“你回到家里,那里并沒有互聯(lián)網(wǎng)。你在家里安然無恙,十分安全。”
瑪格倫姆接著解釋道,但是現(xiàn)在,“欺凌現(xiàn)象已不再局限于學(xué)校,也出現(xiàn)在校外。它遍及你的整個生活,令你無處可逃。”
(美國)全國預(yù)防犯罪委員會(NCPC)的研究顯示,有43%的青少年曾經(jīng)是網(wǎng)絡(luò)欺凌的受害者,另有近20%曾遇到過有人假扮身份在網(wǎng)上對他們進(jìn)行惡作劇的情況。對受害者而言,結(jié)果也許是無法承受的。
“可怕而齷齪的事”
在11年級之前,雷切爾·萊蒙斯的生活一帆風(fēng)順——優(yōu)異的學(xué)習(xí)成績、非常支持她的家人、要好的朋友和一個對她呵護(hù)有加的男友。但自從夏天與男友分手后,一切都變了。她前男友的新女友開始在網(wǎng)上對她大肆進(jìn)攻。
一開始只是惡作劇式的短信,后來發(fā)展到推特網(wǎng)之類的社交媒體網(wǎng)站上。
“她用她的名字注冊了推特賬戶,然后讓它看起來好像是我在推送這個賬戶的消息,而那都是一些可怕而齷齪的東西?!比R蒙斯說。隨后,她的同伴們開始與她為敵。
“他們說:‘雷切爾,我們都知道那個人就是你。你停手吧。”在回憶起同學(xué)們的威脅時,雷切爾這樣說道?!啊覀儠u擊你,我們要揍你一頓?!?/p>
瑪格倫姆解釋道,這些經(jīng)歷對青少年而言尤其難受,因為在這個年紀(jì),朋友變得越來越重要?!斑M(jìn)入青春期后,你會拿自己與同齡群體做比較,看自己是否合群?!?/p>
“如果你的同齡人開始攻擊你,”瑪格倫姆說,“你的自我感覺就會開始變得很不好,心情會受到影響,有可能導(dǎo)致抑郁?!?/p>
欺凌造成的其中一些跡象包括:情緒變化、自我隔離、疏遠(yuǎn)朋友以及缺乏上學(xué)的興趣。
萊蒙斯說她感覺到的是最后一種情況。她的成績正在逐步下滑。但是,由于社交媒體的存在,逃避也躲不開麻煩。在她沒去上學(xué)的時候,她的同學(xué)會發(fā)一些諸如此類的消息:“‘嘿,你們注意到了嗎?今天學(xué)校的空氣好聞多了,因為雷切爾沒來?!比R蒙斯這樣說道。其中一些推文甚至被轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)近五十次,將這股敵意傳播給教室以外的更多聽眾。
“爸爸會很失望”
這種難堪處境使萊蒙斯萌生了自殺的念頭?!秲嚎齐s志》的一項研究顯示,一般而言,受到同伴欺凌的年輕人自稱有自殺念頭者的概率比普通人高出一倍多,而自稱曾經(jīng)試圖自殺者的概率可能為常人的三倍多。
雖然有自殺的念頭,但萊蒙斯說,想到此舉將給家人帶來的傷害,她還是望而卻步?!拔抑?,如果我要自殺,爸爸會對我非常失望的。我不想讓他們有這種感覺?!?/p>
要克服欺凌所帶來的情感痛苦,青少年必須重新獲得自我價值感?,敻駛惸氛f,遭受欺凌的人需要知道,他們是可以有所作為的。
“就算有人欺負(fù)你,這也并不會讓你變成另一個人。你的價值并不會因此而有所減損?!?/p>
網(wǎng)絡(luò)欺凌有哪些?
·發(fā)送低俗或具有威脅性的短信或郵件
·在社交媒體、聊天室或即時通訊工具發(fā)布侮辱性信息
·在網(wǎng)上發(fā)布侮辱性視頻或圖片,或者將它們發(fā)送給其他人·用別人的賬戶在網(wǎng)上肆意妄為
·在社交網(wǎng)站建立針對某人的“仇恨網(wǎng)頁”或“仇恨小組”