李琳

God's Masterpiece

If you think MonaLisa is gorgeous， you should look at my masterpiece in the mirror.

上帝的杰作

如果你認為蒙娜麗莎美得驚人，那么你應該在鏡子里看看我的杰作。

Borrow Money

Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back.

借錢

記得找悲觀主義者借錢，他不指望你還錢。

Two Pieces of Cake

Tom： Mom， can I have two pieces of cake， please？

Mom： Certainly—take this piece and cut it two！

兩塊蛋糕

湯姆：媽媽，我可以吃兩塊蛋糕嗎？

媽媽：當然可以——拿這塊蛋糕，把它切成兩

塊吧！

A Businessman's Idea

A family moved from the city to the suburbs， and were told they ought to get a watchdog to guard their house. So they bought the largest dog available from a near-by dealer.

Shortly afterwards the house was broken at night by burglars while the dog was asleep. The householder went to the dealer and told him about it.

“Well， what you need now，” said the dealer， “is a little dog to wake up the dog.”

商人的主意

一戶人家從城里搬到郊區(qū)，有人告訴他們應該買一條看門狗來守家。于是他們就去附近的一個商人那里買了一條最大的狗。

不久之后，夜賊闖進他們家時那條狗卻一直在睡覺。這家的主人去找那個商人告訴他這件事。

“那么，”商人說，“你們現(xiàn)在還需要一條小狗來叫醒這條狗。”

Sale

When we decided to sell our house， we nailed “FOR SALE BY OWNER” signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long， the doorbell rang. “How much are you asking for the trees？” a young man asked.

拍賣

我們決定賣掉我們的房子。于是，我們就在院前的大樹上釘了兩塊牌子，上面寫著：“拍賣?！睕]過多久，我們的門鈴就響了。一位年輕人問：“你們的樹想賣多少錢？”

What are the two words？

A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. “My dear，” said the old lady， “I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy and the other is ‘swell. Would you promise me that？”

“Why， sure， Granny，” said the girl. “What are the two words？”

是哪兩個詞？

一個非常和藹的老夫人有幾句話要對她的孫女說?！拔矣H愛的，”老夫人說，“我希望你能幫我一個忙。我要你答應永遠不要用兩個詞，一個是‘討厭的'，另一個是‘極好的'。你能答應我嗎？”

“噢，當然，奶奶?！迸⒄f：“是哪兩個詞？”