幽默小故事

張恒選譯

What Does He Want to Be？

他想成為什么樣的人？

“Does your son know what he wants to be when he grows up？” I asked my friend.

“He wants to be a garbageman1，” he answered.

“Thats an unusual2 ambition3 to have at such a young age.”

“Not really. He thinks that garbagemen work only on Tuesdays.”

“你兒子長大后知道自己想成為什么樣的人嗎？”我問我的朋友。

“他想當個清潔工。”他回答說。

“在這么小的年紀，有這樣一個抱負不尋常。”

“并不是。他以為清潔工只在星期二工作?！?/p>

A Nice Dress

漂亮的連衣裙

“Mummy， you have such a nice dress. Where are you going in it？”

“Im going to the theatre to see Romeo and Juliet.”

“But youve seen it 5 times！”

“Yes， I know， but not in this dress.”

“媽媽，你的裙子真漂亮。你穿著它要去哪里？”

“我要去劇院看《羅密歐和朱麗葉》?！?/p>

“但你已經(jīng)看過五次了！”

“是的，我知道，但沒穿這件衣服看過?！?/p>

Fried4 Eggs

煎蛋

A wife5 was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband6. Suddenly7， her husband ran into the kitchen.

“Careful，” he said. “Careful！Put in some more butter！ Oh my God！Youre cooking too many at once. Too many！Turn them！Turn them now！We need more butter. Oh my God！ Where are we going to get more butter？ Theyre going to stick8！Careful. Careful！I said be careful！You never listen to me when youre cooking！Never！Turn them！Hurry up！Are you crazy9？ Dont forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the Salt. Use the salt！The salt！”

The wife looked at him and said， “What is wrong with you？ You think I dont know how to fry a couple of eggs？”

The husband calmly10 answered， “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when Im driving.”

妻子正在為丈夫做一頓煎蛋做早餐。突然，她的丈夫跑進了廚房。

“小心！”他說，“小心！再加點黃油！哦，我的天！你一次做得太多了。太多了！給它們翻面！現(xiàn)在給它們翻面！我們需要更多的黃油。哦，我的天！我們?nèi)ツ膬嘿I更多的黃油？它們會粘鍋的！小心點。小心！我說小心點！你做飯的時候從來不聽我的！從不！翻面！快點！你瘋了嗎？別忘了給它們加鹽。你知道你總是忘了給它們加鹽。加鹽加鹽！鹽！”

妻子看著他說：“你怎么了？你以為我連煎兩個雞蛋都不會？”

丈夫平靜地回答說：“我只是想讓你感受一下我開車時的感覺?！?/p>

（英語原文選自：jokesinlevels.com）

1. garbageman [? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ] n. 清潔工

2. unusual [] adj. 不尋常的;與眾不同的;不平常的

3. ambition [] n. 野心，雄心;抱負，志向

4. fried [? ? ? ] adj. 油炸的，油煎的

5. wife [? ? ? ] n. 妻子，已婚婦女

6. husband [? ? ? ? ? ?] n. 丈夫

7. suddenly [? ? ? ? ?] adv. 突然地;忽然

8. stick [? ? ?] vi. 粘住

9. crazy [? ? ? ? ] adj. 瘋狂的;狂熱的，著迷的

10. calmly [? ? ? ? ?] adv. 冷靜地;平靜地;安靜地