混合雙打等４則

混合雙打

體育老師：孩子們，你們見(jiàn)過(guò)男女混合雙打嗎？

尼克：見(jiàn)過(guò)，老師，經(jīng)常見(jiàn)。就在昨天夜里我還見(jiàn)過(guò)呢!

老師：你給大家講講當(dāng)時(shí)的情形吧。

尼克：啊，對(duì)不起，老師。我爸爸常說(shuō)，“家丑不可外揚(yáng)”。

Mixed Doubles

Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?

Nick: Yes, sir. Quite often. I saw it even last night.

Teacher: Please tell us something about it.

Nick: Oh, sorry, sir. My father always says, “Domestic shame should not be published”.

裸泳

Jimmy去池塘游泳，他扎猛子前剛好看到了他的老師Smith小姐，從裸泳中冒了出來(lái)。當(dāng)Smith小姐看到Jimmy時(shí)，她趕緊抓過(guò)最近的一個(gè)物體——那碰巧是一個(gè)舊的木頭盒子，擋在自己前面說(shuō)：“年輕人，我知道你在想什么！”“我也知道你在想什么，”Jimmy回答，“你一定以為這個(gè)盒子是有底的！”

Skinny Dipping

One day Jimmy went down to the pond for a dip, but before he could dive in he spied his teacher, Mrs. Smith, emerging from nude bathing. When Mrs. Smith saw Jimmy, she grabbed the nearest object which happened to be an old wooden box and held it in front of her.

“Young man, I know what youre thinking,”she said.

“And I know what youre thinking,”replied Jimmy.“Youre thinking that box has a bottom on it!”

老夫妻吵架

一對(duì)性情乖僻的老夫妻發(fā)生了爭(zhēng)吵，一直鬧到地方法官那里。敗訴的一方以一種臨戰(zhàn)的姿態(tài)沖著對(duì)方嚷道：“我要到巡回法庭去告你。”

“愿意奉陪。”另一個(gè)說(shuō)。

“我要到最高法院去告你。”

“我也陪你。”

“我還要到地獄去告你?！?

“我的代理人會(huì)奉陪的?！睂?duì)方平靜地說(shuō)。

An Old Couples Quarrel

A couple of codgers got into a quarrel and came before the local magistrate. The loser, turning to his opponent in a combative frame of mind, cried: “Ill law you to the Circuit Court.”

“Im willing,”said the other.

“Ill law you to the Supreme Court.”

“Ill be there.”

“And Ill law the hell!”

“My attorney will be there,”was the calm reply.

腦筋急轉(zhuǎn)彎

1. 有一種劇，全世界的影劇院都不曾上演過(guò)，這是什么??？

2. 什么東西能加不能減？

腦筋急轉(zhuǎn)彎答案：

1.A prank

2.The age

我保證它很新鮮

鎮(zhèn)上開了家新餐館，我丈夫Walter和我決定去嘗嘗。女招待給我們寫菜時(shí)，Walter問(wèn)餐館的咖啡是否新鮮?！敖^對(duì)新鮮，”，女招待回答說(shuō)，“我們才剛開了兩星期?！?/p>

Im Sure it is Fresh

A new restaurant opened in our town, so my husband, Walter and I decided to try it. As the waitress took our order, Walter asked if the coffee was fresh. “Im sure it is,”answered the waitress. “Weve only been open two weeks.”