敬向東

In a second

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: “God, what is a million dollars to you?” and God says: “A penny”, then the man says: “God, what is a million years to you?” and God says: “a second”, then the man says: “God, can I have a penny?” and God says “In a second”

等一秒鐘

一男子進(jìn)入教堂和上帝對(duì)話。他問:“主啊, 一百萬美元對(duì)你意味著多少?”上帝回答:“一便士?！蹦凶佑謫?“那一百萬年呢?”上帝說:“一秒鐘?！弊詈竽凶诱?qǐng)求道:“上帝，我能得到一便士嗎?”上帝回答:“過一秒鐘?！?/p>

A Lesson on logic

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

“Here is the situation,” she said. “a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he cant swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?”

A girl raised her hand and asked, “to draw out all of his savings.”

邏輯推理

小學(xué)四年級(jí)的教師正在給學(xué)生們上一堂邏輯課。她舉了這么一個(gè)例子：“有這樣一種情況，一個(gè)男人站在河中心的船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進(jìn)了水里。于是他開始掙扎并喊救命。他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他并不會(huì)游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是為什么？” 一個(gè)女生舉手答道，“去把他的存款都取出來。”

[注] bank在英語(yǔ)中除了我們平時(shí)很熟悉的“銀行”之外，還有“河岸”的意思。

Reason for late

Teacher： Johnny，why are you late for school every morning？

Johnny： Every time when I come to the corner，a guidepost says，”School—Go Slow”.

遲到的原因

老師： 約翰尼，為什么你每天早晨都遲到？

約翰尼： 每當(dāng)我經(jīng)過學(xué)校附近的拐角處，就見路牌上寫著“學(xué)?！徯小?。

Make it nine months

“Mr. Clark, Im afraid I have bad news,” the doctor told his patient. “You only have six months to live.”

The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes.

“I cant possibly pay you in that time.”

“Okay,” the doctor said, “l(fā)ets make it nine months.”

九個(gè)月吧

“克拉克先生，有個(gè)壞消息，你只有六個(gè)月可活了?！贬t(yī)生告訴他的病人。

病人驚呆了?！傲鶄€(gè)月我不可能付清醫(yī)療費(fèi)?！?/p>

“好吧，”醫(yī)生說，“那就九個(gè)月吧。”

High and low voice

“Can you explain to me what the difference is between a high-pitched(高音) and low-pitched voice?”

“A high-pitched voice is when my father scolds me,；a low-pitched voice is when my father speaks with his boss.”

高音和低音

“你能解釋一下高音和低音的區(qū)別嗎？”

“高音就是我父親責(zé)備我的時(shí)候，低音就是我父親對(duì)他老板說話的時(shí)候?！?/p>

The new teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

“George, how did you like your new teacher?” asked his mother.

“I didnt like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too ...”

新老師

9月1日， 喬治放學(xué)回到家里。

“喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎？” 媽媽問。

“媽媽，我不喜歡，因?yàn)樗f3加3得6, 可后來又說2加4也得6?！?/p>

How much is four minus four?

One day, the teacher inquired Peter: “How much is four minus four?” Peter was tongue-tied.

The teacher got angry and said: “What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket?”

“The hole.” replied Peter.

四減四可以不等于零嗎？

一天，老師問彼得:“4減4等于幾？”彼得張口結(jié)舌答不上來。

老師生氣地說:“真笨！比如我給你衣袋里裝進(jìn)4個(gè)硬幣，可你衣袋上有個(gè)窟窿，硬幣全從這里漏掉了，那么，你衣袋里還剩下什么？”

“還剩下個(gè)窟窿。”彼得答道。