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      2009-06-10 05:30
      關(guān)鍵詞:詞數(shù)范文健康狀況

      調(diào)查顯示,近幾年我國(guó)中學(xué)生的健康狀況不容樂(lè)觀。請(qǐng)你就How to improve the health of high school students這一話題,寫(xiě)一篇英語(yǔ)短文,要求涵蓋以下要點(diǎn):

      1. 中學(xué)生的健康狀況: 存在近視眼、肥胖、體質(zhì)弱等問(wèn)題。

      2. 造成此狀況的原因及其危害。

      3. 你認(rèn)為應(yīng)該采取的措施及理由。

      注意:詞數(shù)120左右,文章的開(kāi)頭已給出,不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。

      How to Improve the Health of High School Students

      Research shows that high school students health condition is declining obviously in recent years.

      ___________________________________________________________________

      ___________________________________________________________________

      ___________________________________________________

      【One Possible Version】

      How to Improve the Health of High School Students

      Research shows that high school students health condition is declining obviously in recent years. Most students are near-sighted, some are weak or overweight and many cant reach the physical standard. It is absolutely true.

      What causes such problems? First, many students spend too much time before computers or TV sets. Second, because students have to prepare themselves for examinations in the society filled with severe competition, they spend most time on their subjects. Third, many of them dont form the habit of taking physical exercise regularly.

      From the analysis above, its necessary and crucial to find ways to improve students health condition. One available way is to do physical exercise for at least an hour every day. In addition, a healthy diet also contributes to it. Above all, the schools should take measures to reduce the heavy burdens on the students.

      【點(diǎn)評(píng)】

      這篇范文有以下優(yōu)點(diǎn):

      1. 分段成文,結(jié)構(gòu)清晰。

      寫(xiě)作技巧往往體現(xiàn)在結(jié)構(gòu)合理、安排有序上。范文分為三個(gè)部分:

      首段直擊文中的核心問(wèn)題:Most students are near-sighted, some are weak or overweight and many cant reach the physical standard.

      中間段圍繞主題:What causes such problems展開(kāi)論述,分三點(diǎn)First ... Second ... Third ...來(lái)回答這個(gè)問(wèn)題。

      結(jié)尾發(fā)表自己的看法,并對(duì)全文進(jìn)行總結(jié)和概括:Its necessary and crucial to find ways to improve students health condition.

      2. 用詞斟酌,升級(jí)替換。

      短語(yǔ)和一些慣用法是英語(yǔ)的精華,使用得當(dāng),會(huì)使文章增色。在寫(xiě)作中,要培養(yǎng)一種主動(dòng)喚醒和使用腦中高級(jí)詞匯的意識(shí)。范文中 in addition, absolutely, severe, crucial, available等短語(yǔ)和高級(jí)詞匯使文章讀起來(lái)地道而有說(shuō)服力。在寫(xiě)作文時(shí),同學(xué)們可以特地思考腦海中最先閃現(xiàn)的詞匯可否進(jìn)行升級(jí)替換。例如,想要表達(dá)“結(jié)果”時(shí),你想到詞匯so,此時(shí)請(qǐng)暫停,想想是不是能夠升級(jí)成as a result 或者as a consequence;當(dāng)你表達(dá)“經(jīng)?!睍r(shí),會(huì)馬上寫(xiě)下often,可regularly是不是更好些呢?

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