Series Four, Episode Eight: Read All about It
Tony: What have you got there, Johnny?
Johnny: What do they look like?
Tony: Newspapers.
Johnny: Exactly. I’m job-hunting.
(Door opens. Noise of Joe, Olivia’s nephew.)
Tony: Oh no…not Olivia’s nephew again…watch out!
(crash)
Olivia: Joe! Oh, sorry Tony! I promise I’ll clean up any mess.
Tony: I hope so.
Olivia: Hi Johnny! Still looking for a job?
Johnny: Yeah.
Olivia: No luck?
Johnny: No.
Olivia: Isn’t it better to look online rather than in newspapers?
Johnny: I need to do everything I can.
Olivia: I thought you had lots of contacts—have you asked all your friends?
Johnny: Yeah. They’ve lost their jobs too, or they’re worried they’re going to.
Olivia: (seriously) Hmm…Listen, have you thought about doing other things?
Johnny: How do you mean?
Olivia: Perhaps, some voluntary[志愿的] work?
Johnny: Voluntary work?
Olivia: Yeah.
Johnny: For no money?
Olivia: That’s what voluntary means.
Johnny: Then how will I get to be a millionaire?
Olivia: Perhaps you’d better put that plan on hold for a bit, Johnny.
Johnny: On hold? What do you mean, “on hold”?
Olivia: You might have to wait for a bit before you become a millionaire, Johnny.
Johnny: Hmmm...I’m not sure about that.
Olivia: I mean, just while you’re looking for work, you could do something, help out other people—all your skills and talents, after all. It’d be a shame for them to go to waste.
Johnny: (becoming more optimistic) Yeah. Maybe you’re right…all my skills and abilities…
Olivia: And it will look good on your CV.
Johnny: Yes…that’s right…it will look good on my CV. What kind of voluntary work do you think I should do?
Olivia: Well, there are lots of things—working with disabled people, working with old people, working with children…
(crash, Joe’s laughing)
Tony: Oi! You! Joe!
Olivia: (sighs) Or you could look after Joe for a bit…
Johnny: I think you need an expert to look after him, not a volunteer.
(door opens)
All: Hi Fadi!
(crash)
Fadi: Ow! Ouch! Joe! Can you watch where you’re going please?
Olivia/Johnny: (laughter)
Fadi: It’s not funny!
Olivia: No. I’m sorry Fadi. We were just saying we need someone to look after him.
Fadi: I thought that was your job.
Olivia: I look after him sometimes when my sister’s busy, but I can’t always do it.
Fadi: No, I suppose not—I mean, you’re busy a lot of the time too, aren’t you?
Olivia: Yes, I am—with my shop.
Fadi: And your boyfriend!
Olivia: What? What do you mean?
Fadi: Go on—your “friend”!
Olivia: Oh, him.
Fadi: Aren’t you going out with him?
Olivia: No. I only went out with him once.
Fadi: Are you going to see him again?
Olivia: Why are you so interested?
Fadi: Me? No, I’m not interested. Just, well, you know, curious.
Olivia: Oh yeah. I see. Well, I’ll tell you the truth, he really is only a friend.
Fadi: Nothing more?
Olivia: Nothing more, anyway—how’s your girlfriend?
Fadi: My what?
Olivia: Your girlfriend. You told me you were seeing someone.
Fadi: Did I? Oh yeah.
Johnny: (laughing) Fadi’s “girlfriend”…oh yeah…I heard about that.
Olivia: What did you hear?
Fadi: Johnny, shut up!
Johnny: Fadi’s girlfriend is only in his dreams!
Olivia: What do you mean?
Johnny: She doesn’t exist! She’s not real! He made her up just to make you jealous!
Olivia: (laughs)
Fadi: That’s not true. I’ve got loads of girls, me.
Johnny: Come on Fadi. Tell the truth!
Fadi: Well, erm, I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.
Olivia: How interesting.
Johnny: So you’re both single. You should get together.
Fadi: No way.
Olivia: Oh no.
(door opens)
All: Hi Carlos!
Carlos: Hello everyone. Can I sit here?
Olivia: Hmm.
Carlos: Oof…I’m tired, busy day.
Johnny: Lucky you.
Carlos: Whose are these newspapers?
Johnny: Mine.
Carlos: Mind if I have a look?
Johnny: Not at all. Go ahead.
Carlos: Hey, look at this!
Olivia: What is it?
Carlos: There’s a review in the paper here—my restaurant!
Fadi: Great!
Johnny: What does it say?
Carlos: (reading) “Rodizio…a new Brazilian restaurant…excellent food…perfectly cooked…h(huán)elpful waiters…great prices…”
Fadi: Hey! That’s fantastic[極好的]!
Olivia: Let me have a look. Wow! Great—and listen to this—even better!—(reading)—“We found this place thanks to a review on the useful website FindLondon”—that’s you Fadi!
Fadi: I know! Great!
Johnny: (gloomily) Well, I’m happy everyone else has got good news.
Carlos: Don’t worry Johnny—I’m sure you’ll find a new job soon.
(crashing noise)
Tony: Oi! Joe! You little…!
Fadi: Yeah—you can work as a baby sitter for Olivia!