劉玉龍

Last Sunday， I went to the zoo with my mother. There are many people in the zoo. In front of the elephants house， we saw a little elephant. It was very funny. It was about 1.6 meters tall and its body was like a wall. Its legs were like for little trunks. Its head swung from one side to the other. So did its long nose about one meter long. And the nose was like a water pipe. One its head was bright eyes and big ears. Then I saw the elephant rolling up some grass and putting it into its mouth with its nose. How interesting it was！ Sometimes the little elephant was very naughty， but sometimes very quiet. I like it very much！

【簡評】全文語言樸實，自然流暢。雖然只有一個段落，但小作者卻能通過寥寥數(shù)語，向我們展現(xiàn)一頭有趣又好玩的小象。內(nèi)容安排合理，層次分明。

指導(dǎo)教師：潘哲