山東 張 華 劉 剛
如何寫(xiě)好文章的開(kāi)頭與結(jié)尾?
山東 張 華 劉 剛
文章由開(kāi)頭、主體和結(jié)尾三部分組成。開(kāi)頭與結(jié)尾是文章的重要組成部分,也是閱卷老師閱讀的重要部分,寫(xiě)好能給人留下深刻印象,不可忽視。漢語(yǔ)作文講求“鳳頭豹尾”,但英語(yǔ)書(shū)面表達(dá)是限制性寫(xiě)作,我們不能刻意追求這種寫(xiě)作風(fēng)格,要著力用最經(jīng)濟(jì)、最準(zhǔn)確的方式打造精彩的開(kāi)頭與結(jié)尾,展示“亮點(diǎn)”,從而吸引閱卷老師的眼球,提高自己的得分檔次。請(qǐng)看下面的習(xí)作:
【典型例題】(2015年11月山東省臨沂市高三英語(yǔ)期中試題)
一家英語(yǔ)報(bào)社向中學(xué)生征文,主題是尋找身邊的榜樣。請(qǐng)根據(jù)下列要求完成短文。
1.身邊的榜樣是誰(shuí);
2.主要事跡/表現(xiàn)。
注意:1.詞數(shù)100左右;
2.可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié),以使行文連貫。
【考場(chǎng)作文】(得分:14分)
My Role Model
When it comes to my role model,there is①all kinds of people around us,many of whom are really good and can be our model②,such as Tu Youyou,the first Chinese woman to win the Nobel Prize,Yao Ming and Lei Feng③. However,my model is my father.
My father is a worker in a factory nearby. He goes to work early and comes home late. He never had④a rest and does a part-time job on Sundays. He is kind and likes to help people in trouble. One day⑤morning,he found an old woman standing in the cold weather,begging. He went over to her and gave her some money. The old woman was very excited.
旁批:
①is改為are
②model改為models
③以屠呦呦等人作為“身邊的榜樣”不妥
④had改為has
⑤去掉day
⑥文章開(kāi)頭鋪墊過(guò)多,不著邊際;缺少結(jié)尾,給人的感覺(jué)是本文在寫(xiě)“My Father”
【分析】該文篇幅適中,分兩段介紹了“我的爸爸”,句式多樣,但由于存在一些語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤以及“頭重少尾”,文章結(jié)構(gòu)不完整,導(dǎo)致得分偏低。
近年高考書(shū)面表達(dá)越來(lái)越重視對(duì)文章開(kāi)頭與結(jié)尾的考查。例如2015年全國(guó)新課標(biāo)卷Ⅰ中的書(shū)面表達(dá)只給出了開(kāi)頭,且在評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)中把“適當(dāng)?shù)慕Y(jié)尾”作為要點(diǎn)列出;卷Ⅱ只給出了結(jié)語(yǔ),需要考生“創(chuàng)設(shè)開(kāi)頭”。從范文來(lái)看,有些范文把開(kāi)頭與主體或主體與結(jié)尾合并在了一起,所以從表面上看,好像只有一兩段,但其開(kāi)頭與結(jié)尾仍有明顯的區(qū)別。
下面分別舉例介紹寫(xiě)作中如何開(kāi)篇與收尾及其注意事項(xiàng)。
“Well begun is half done.”,寫(xiě)好開(kāi)頭非常重要。開(kāi)頭應(yīng)迅速向主題靠攏,盡快點(diǎn)明文章主題,同時(shí)要注意語(yǔ)言簡(jiǎn)潔、準(zhǔn)確,決不能“輸在開(kāi)頭”。
下面介紹幾種常見(jiàn)的開(kāi)頭方式,供同學(xué)們考前套用、模仿。
1.開(kāi)門(mén)見(jiàn)山式
文章開(kāi)頭直接點(diǎn)題,不繞彎,不能無(wú)病呻吟,做過(guò)多鋪墊。如能提煉和使用主題句,則更醒目。
例1:話題:邀請(qǐng)Lucy去敬老院
體裁:書(shū)信(2015·全國(guó)新課標(biāo)卷Ⅱ,提示只給出了結(jié)語(yǔ))
方式:提筆入題+過(guò)渡句Dear Lucy,
I’d like to invite you to join us for a visit to the nearby nursing home next Sunday for the Double Ninth Festival. It is the day for the elderly in our culture.
例2:主題:鑿壁偷光
體裁:議論文(2015·福建卷,漫畫(huà)+感想)
方式:首句狀語(yǔ)+畫(huà)面描寫(xiě)
In the picture,we can see a boy in worn clothes,sitting at a shabby wooden table with a pile of books on it. A weak ray of light came in through a small hole in the wall and he was absorbed in his reading.
例3:主題:A famous Chinese I would like to interview
體裁:夾敘夾議(2015·安徽卷)
方式:主題句+銜接句
The person I would like to interview is Yang Liwei. I would really like to interview him because...
【溫馨提示】有些應(yīng)用文如日記、通知、發(fā)言稿等,都有一定的開(kāi)頭與結(jié)尾模式,且是高考熱點(diǎn),特提醒同學(xué)們注意搜集整理,在此限于篇幅不再一一羅列。
2.自我介紹式
有些作文(如投訴信、應(yīng)征信、預(yù)約信、倡議書(shū)等)需要先做自我介紹,明了自己的身份,然后再找準(zhǔn)切入點(diǎn)引出下文。
例4:話題:詢(xún)問(wèn)夏季英語(yǔ)課程
體裁:書(shū)信(2014·全國(guó)新課標(biāo)卷Ⅰ,只給出格式)方式:自我介紹+過(guò)渡Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is Li Hua,a middle school student from China and I intend to go to Britain to study English this summer vacation. Seeing your ad,...
3.交代背景式
在記敘文或描寫(xiě)文(包括日記、通知)中,開(kāi)篇就要把事件發(fā)生的時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)、人物及情景等交代清楚,不可鋪墊過(guò)多而一發(fā)不可收拾。
例5:話題:跟老藝人學(xué)捏泥人
體裁:記敘文(2015·北京卷,寫(xiě)作二)
方式:交代背景+點(diǎn)題(捏泥人)
Last Tuesday,our class invited an old craftsman to teach us how to make dough figurines.
【溫馨提示】有時(shí)提示中的背景就是一個(gè)要點(diǎn),宜“點(diǎn)到為止”,不必發(fā)揮過(guò)多。這些背景包括寫(xiě)作意圖、意愿或問(wèn)題討論的現(xiàn)象或環(huán)境等。尤其是某些議論文也需要交代寫(xiě)作背景。
例6:主題:申請(qǐng)參加“圖書(shū)分享活動(dòng)”
體裁:應(yīng)用文——書(shū)信(2015·重慶卷,寫(xiě)作二,只給出格式)
方式:寫(xiě)作背景+申請(qǐng)Dear Sir or Madam,
Learning that you are organizing this activity to share books worldwide,I am writing to apply for it for the simple reason that I love reading and I own a large number of books.
例7:話題:校園亂扔垃圾現(xiàn)象,提出治理措施(只給出首句的開(kāi)頭)
體裁:議論文
方式:羅列現(xiàn)象+后果
It’s not uncommon that some students litter everywhere. Some never sort the garbage and just throw old newspapers or plastic bags directly into dustbins. Worse still,some even burn the rubbish,giving off terrible smell and heavy smoke. All these make our campus dirty and smelly.
文章不能“有頭無(wú)尾”,有了結(jié)尾,文章結(jié)構(gòu)才算完整,絕不能不想寫(xiě)就不寫(xiě)。結(jié)尾是文章的升華之處,應(yīng)與開(kāi)頭在表達(dá)上一致,共同服務(wù)文章主題。我們還要注意結(jié)合體裁以及行文需要,采用合適的結(jié)尾方式。結(jié)尾方式因文而異,形式多樣。常見(jiàn)的有:
1.程序式
有些文章(如書(shū)信、日記、發(fā)言稿、通知等)的結(jié)尾方式有固定的句型和套路,我們完全可以根據(jù)寫(xiě)作實(shí)際靈活套用。
例8:主題:申請(qǐng)參加“分享圖書(shū)”活動(dòng)
體裁:書(shū)信(2015·重慶卷,寫(xiě)作二)
方式:感謝+盼望回復(fù)(程序化語(yǔ)句)
I am wondering if you could tell me more about this activity. Thank you for all you have been doing. I’m looking forward to your reply.
例9:主題:創(chuàng)意作品展示
體裁:書(shū)面通知(2014·遼寧卷)
方式:程序式結(jié)語(yǔ)+鼓動(dòng)性
Come on,everybody!It’s your show time.
2.總結(jié)式
在文章結(jié)尾處對(duì)前面的內(nèi)容進(jìn)行概括、總結(jié),或重申文章的中心思想及觀點(diǎn)并做進(jìn)一步強(qiáng)調(diào)。慣常使用的總結(jié)式詞語(yǔ)有in a word,to sum up,in conclusion等;句型有Only in this way can we keep...等。
例10:主題:questioning is a bridge to learning
體裁:夾敘夾議(2015·湖北卷)
方式:總結(jié)+照應(yīng)開(kāi)頭
From this experience I have learnt that questioning can serve as a bridge that helps to seek the truth.
3.感想式
日記、記敘文以及新聞報(bào)道等文章的結(jié)尾可用感想、展望或發(fā)出號(hào)召來(lái)結(jié)束全文,起到畫(huà)龍點(diǎn)睛的作用。
例11:主題:跟老藝人學(xué)捏泥人
體裁:書(shū)信(2015·北京卷,寫(xiě)作二)
方式:感想+希望
Looking at the figurines,we were all very excited. We hope we can have more activities of this kind.
例12:主題:記學(xué)雷鋒的一件事
體裁:日記(2012·北京卷)
方式:感想+回扣主題
I was so glad that I could help others./What a happy and meaningful day I had!/Seeing them on the bus,I felt a kind of satisfaction.
4.希望/決心式
針對(duì)描寫(xiě)活動(dòng)或申請(qǐng)參加活動(dòng)或職務(wù)等的文章,可在最后一段表達(dá)決心或突出自己能勝任某項(xiàng)職務(wù)的能力或意愿;或提出自己的希望,并決心實(shí)現(xiàn)這一既定心愿。
例13:主題:應(yīng)征志愿者
體裁:書(shū)信(2015·陜西卷,已給出格式)
方式:希望+決心
I’m sure that I can perfectly live up to your expectations. I will be grateful if you could give me a kind consideration./I’m sure I’ll do a good job if I’m accepted.
例14:主題:競(jìng)選俱樂(lè)部副主席
體裁:演講稿(2013·福建卷)
方式:愿望+決心
I sincerely hope you will give me a chance,and please believe me that I will be a good vice president.
5.建議式
對(duì)前文所議論之事或問(wèn)題,提出建議、見(jiàn)解或意見(jiàn),也包括具體的解決方案或辦法。
例15. 主題:浪費(fèi)的危害及杜絕浪費(fèi)
體裁:議論文
方式:建議+展望
It’s high time we stopped wasting anything and fought against waste. We should save what we can to help those in need,making a contribution to building a harmonious society.
從上面的例子可看出,開(kāi)頭或結(jié)尾的方式因文而異,可以是一句話,也可以是幾句話。但是,不論哪種方式,都要講求干凈利落,不拖泥帶水,也不能脫離主題。
請(qǐng)看開(kāi)頭提到的那篇作文的范文,體會(huì)開(kāi)頭與結(jié)尾的巧妙之處。
Among the students around me,Li Hua is such an outstanding example that I should follow.
As a senior,he has been studying hard and doing well in every subject. In addition,as a warm-hearted person he always does what he can to help those in trouble. Whatever he does,he makes every effort to do it well. Even though he meets with various difficulties,he never gives up. In his daily life,he always makes people aware of the importance of protecting the environment. In his opinion,every action on protecting the environment makes a big difference.
Such is Li Hua,a student with lots of good qualities. We can learn a lot from him.
開(kāi)頭:開(kāi)門(mén)見(jiàn)山,直接點(diǎn)題——an outstanding example I should follow
主體部分:用多樣的句式,富于情感的詞匯(如hard,well,help,never give up,make a difference)突出了榜樣的高貴品質(zhì);“protecting the environment”為具體事例,突出其成績(jī)
結(jié)尾:用“Such is...”做總結(jié),并用“We can learn...from him”照應(yīng)開(kāi)頭;做到了完美收官
因此,在最后沖刺階段,我們考生不但要重視正文的寫(xiě)作,還要掌握開(kāi)頭與結(jié)尾的方式,做到作文內(nèi)容完整,語(yǔ)言準(zhǔn)確,結(jié)構(gòu)合理。
(作者單位:張 華 山東省平邑縣第二中學(xué);劉 剛 山東省平邑縣第一中學(xué))