Yesterday Zhang Qiang and I were playing happy① in the classroom and didnt notice that Wang Lis pencil box was on the desk. I knocked it off and her pen was broken.

I spoke② sorry to her， but she was still angry with me. As a result， I had a quarrel with her. Our teacher came in and stopped us quarrel③. I said sorry to her again， and told her I would buy her a new pen， but she refused to accept it. I would be more careful when playing.

江蘇省連云港市贛榆區(qū)羅陽中學(xué)八（3）班 沈長宇

1. 優(yōu)點：

短文講述了因自己玩耍不小心碰壞了別人的東西，然后發(fā)生爭吵和向?qū)Ψ降狼傅墓适?。整篇文章文字流暢、用詞得當，是一篇不錯的學(xué)生習(xí)作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① happy改為happily。修飾動詞短語“were playing”應(yīng)使用副詞。

② spoke改為said。“say sorry to sb.”是固定短語，意為“向某人說對不起”。

③ quarrel改為quarreling?！皊top sb. （from） doing sth.”是固定短語，意為“阻止某人做某事”。

3. 評分：

按江蘇省連云港市中考英語作文滿分25分的評分標準，本文修改前可得23分。