Kiara+Imani+Williams
“I have invested years into this. Not just wonderful, easy, ‘my life is so great years, but hard, intense, rewarding years. Now, the next natural step is to move forward. After four years, its time. But if moving forward is the right thing to do, why do I feel so uneasy? Why do I lie awake at night wondering what else is out there? Why do I look at people who have chosen alternative paths with jealousy? But no! I cant just throw away everything Ive worked for in the past four years. Maybe its too late. I owe it to myself to make this work1).”
If you have ever had this internal dialogue with yourself, you are not alone. For the record2) I am not talking about romantic relationships. I am talking about careers. This article is for those of you who have spent countless years and thousands of dollars to earn higher education degrees, and then feel trapped to work within the confines of said degree. The ones who earn masters degrees in education, yet decide to become hair stylists or physical trainers. The doctors and psychiatrists3) who dream of moving to Los Angeles to become actors and comedians. The attorneys who long to leave their law firms to write novels. The accountants who want to quit their jobs and open their own bakeries or flower shops. If this is you, lean in.
Whether you are in an unhappy romantic relationship, or working in a career that no longer fits your professional desires, you are your own worst enemy. Thats right. I said it. Go look in your mirror and take a long, hard look at yourself. You are standing in the way of your own happiness. You are blocking your own blessings. You are prohibiting yourself from reaching your full potential. Its 2017! Its time to get out of your own way.
Lets talk about your concerns. What will people say? Well, who cares. Are you really willing to be unhappy for the next fifty years because of nosey4) Becky and jealous Bob? Becky and Bob will go on to live their own miserable lives, not thinking about you, while you live yours trying to please them. The people who truly love you will support your decision. Take Becky and Bob out of the equation.
Now that they are gone, lets talk about your wasted time. Imagine that I really was talking about a romantic relationship in the first paragraph. What if your best friend who was no longer in love with his or her boyfriend/girlfriend, told you that he or she was getting married, because they did not want the past four years of their relationship to go to waste.
If you are a good friend, you may tell your best friend that they did not waste their time. More than likely5), theyve grown and learned valuable life lessons that they can use moving forward. They probably have a better idea of what they like, and what they dont like. You may tell them that in the grand scheme6) of life, four years in a relationship is not enough time to justify7) an eternity of unhappiness. Now, look in the mirror and give yourself the same advice. Say, “Hey self, you have learned a lot! You have so many valuable, transferable skills.” Think about buzz words like, “l(fā)eadership skills,” “critical thinking,” and “project management.”
Next well address the most pressing and complicated concern—money. I do not intend to downplay8) financial limitations. I am right there with you. After earning my Bachelor of Arts and Juris Doctorate degrees, I owe the government over $200,000 in student loans (I am not kidding). Some of you may owe much less, and sadly, I know some of you owe much more. Some days I am paralyzed9) by the fear of being in debt for the rest of my life. Those days are not good days. Today is not one of those days.
Today, I have perspective. No matter what your religious beliefs are, one thing remains true. You cannot take your money with you to your grave. You can spend it, save it, and leave it behind for loved ones, but once youre gone, it no longer belongs to you. With this attitude in mind, I began to think about my life. Is $200,000 worth a lifetime of unhappiness? Can you put a price tag on the quality of your life? Sure, my future children would love it if I could pass down boatloads of money, but how wonderful would it be to pass down lessons in persistence, faith, and hard work instead?
Maybe you are still unconvinced. Maybe you are still afraid to take a leap of faith10) and step into the unknown. Maybe you are afraid to leave behind the comfort and stability of your current lifestyle. Maybe you feel inadequate. If thats you, take another look in the mirror and try to see the potential that lives inside of you. You are powerful beyond measure. The most common way people give up their power is by believing they do not have any.
I am a firm believer that we are the most successful at what we do when we are passionate about what were doing. We are all born with talents, gifts, and inexplicable11) passions. If you are searching for meaning and purpose in your career, dont start with your degrees and your qualifications, start with your passions. Fifty years from now, make sure you can say you chose your life, you didnt settle for12) it. The choice is yours, my friend. Choose wisely, and get out of your own way.
What Happens
When Your Degree
and Your Career
Aspirations
Dont Line Up?
職業(yè)選擇事關(guān)重大,人人都謹(jǐn)慎對待。而當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的職業(yè)志向與自己所學(xué)專業(yè)并不相符時(shí),你更會覺得選擇艱難,糾結(jié)不已。是要掐滅自己夢想的火苗,繼續(xù)從事自己所學(xué)專業(yè)的工作,還是追隨自己的熱情,進(jìn)入全新的職業(yè)生涯呢?在做出抉擇前,請?jiān)趦?nèi)心問自己一個(gè)問題:“50年后,我可以說自己選擇了人生,沒有得過且過嗎?”
“我把這幾年都投入到了這上面。這些年并不精彩,也不容易,從沒覺得‘生活棒極了。然而,這些年是艱辛、緊張、很有收獲的。如今,下一步自然是向前走。四年過去了,該向前走了??墒侨绻蚯白呤钦_之選,為什么我會感到如此不安呢?為什么晚上我夜不能寐,想知道還有什么別的選擇呢?為什么我看到那些選擇其他道路的人會心懷嫉妒呢?不!我不能把過去四年我為之努力奮斗的一切全部丟掉?,F(xiàn)在這么做也許為時(shí)已晚。我必須所學(xué)為所用?!?/p>
如果你曾與自己有過這樣的內(nèi)心對話,那這樣做的并不只有你一個(gè)人。鄭重聲明,我說的不是戀愛關(guān)系,我說的是事業(yè)。這篇文章針對的是那些耗費(fèi)了數(shù)年,花費(fèi)了成千上萬美元才獲得高等教育學(xué)位,卻又在限于所獲學(xué)位找工作時(shí)倍感束縛的人。這些人包括獲得了教育碩士學(xué)位卻決心成為發(fā)型師或體能教練的人,夢想搬到洛杉磯成為演員的醫(yī)生和精神病學(xué)家們,那些渴望離開律師事務(wù)所去寫小說的律師們,想辭掉工作去開面包店或花店的會計(jì)師們。如果你也有這樣的想法,那就聽聽下面我要講的這番話吧。
不管你是正談著戀愛但并不開心,還是你有一份事業(yè)但并不符合自己的職業(yè)預(yù)期,你都是自己最大的敵人。沒錯(cuò),我就是這么說的。去照照鏡子,睜大眼睛好好看看自己。你阻礙了自己的幸福。你擋住了自己的福運(yùn)。你正在阻止自己發(fā)揮全部的潛能。都2017年了!是時(shí)候了,別再擋著自己了。
讓我們來聊聊你的擔(dān)憂。人們會怎么說?哎,誰會在乎啊。你真的愿意因?yàn)閻酃荛e事的張三和心懷嫉妒的李四,在未來50年里一直悶悶不樂?張三和李四將繼續(xù)過他們自己痛苦的生活,不會想到你,而你卻為了取悅他們而過著同樣痛苦的生活。真正愛你的人會支持你的決定。不要理會張三和李四。
既然不談他們,那我們就來聊聊你浪費(fèi)掉的時(shí)間。假設(shè)我在第一段中說的真是戀愛關(guān)系。如果你最好的朋友告訴你,他/她不再愛自己的女朋友或男朋友了,但卻準(zhǔn)備與對方結(jié)婚,因?yàn)樗麄儾幌肜速M(fèi)過去四年相處的時(shí)光,你會怎么說?
如果你是個(gè)靠譜的朋友,你會告訴你最好的朋友,他們沒有浪費(fèi)時(shí)間。很有可能是他們更成熟了,獲得了寶貴的人生教訓(xùn),在以后的人生路上可以用上。他們可能更清楚自己喜歡什么,不喜歡什么。你會告訴他們,在整個(gè)人生歷程中,四年的戀愛時(shí)間并不算長,不足以為之一輩子不開心。現(xiàn)在,照照鏡子,給自己同樣的建議,對自己說:“嘿,自己,你學(xué)到了很多!你掌握了很多有價(jià)值的通用技能?!毕胍幌搿邦I(lǐng)導(dǎo)力”“批判性思維”和“項(xiàng)目管理”之類的流行語。
接下來我們說一說最迫切而且復(fù)雜的擔(dān)憂——金錢。我并不想說經(jīng)濟(jì)狀況受限就無所謂。在這方面我和你們一樣。我獲得文學(xué)學(xué)士和法學(xué)博士學(xué)位后,欠了政府超過20萬美元的學(xué)生貸款(我不是開玩笑)。你們中的一些人可能欠得少一些,而可悲的是,我知道你們有些人欠得更多。有段日子里,我因害怕余生在欠債中度過而不知所措。那日子不好過。今天不一樣。
今天,我明白了。無論你的宗教信仰是什么,有一點(diǎn)永遠(yuǎn)是真的——你不能把金錢帶到墳?zāi)估?。你可以把錢花掉,或是存起來,或是留給所愛的人,但是一旦你過世,錢就不再屬于你。抱著這種態(tài)度,我開始思考人生。你值不值得為20萬美元一輩子不高興?你能給生活質(zhì)量貼個(gè)價(jià)簽嗎?當(dāng)然,如果我能遺留下大量金錢,我未來的孩子們可能會喜歡,不過如果我可以傳承堅(jiān)持、信念和努力工作的教義,不也很美妙么?
也許你仍然不相信我的話。也許你仍然害怕充滿信心地邁向未知。也許你放不下當(dāng)前舒適而穩(wěn)定的生活。也許你覺得自己能力不夠。如果那樣的話,再照照鏡子,努力發(fā)現(xiàn)存在于你生命里的潛力。你擁有無可估量的力量。人們放棄自身力量最常見的方式就是覺得自己沒有任何力量。
我堅(jiān)信,只要我們對自己正在做的事情充滿熱情,我們就會把事情做得非常成功。才能、天賦和無法解釋的熱情與生俱來。如果你正在探尋職業(yè)生涯的意義和目的,不要從你的學(xué)位和各種證書開始,而是要從你的熱情開始。確保50年后你可以說自己選擇了人生,沒有得過且過。我的朋友,選擇得由你自己做出。做出明智的選擇,不要擋著自己的幸福。