By+Samantha+Bronkar
Two hundred stuffed animals, two violins, and a 7-1/2 foot-tall Christmas tree: That was just a corner of the possessions Rosalie and Bill Kelleher accumulated over their 47-year marriage.2 And, they realized, it was about 199 stuffed animals more than their two grown children wanted.
Going from a four-bedroom house in New Bedford, Mass.—with an attic stuffed full of paper stacked four-feet tall—to a 1,300-square-foot apartment took six years of winnowing, sorting, shredding, and shlepping stuff to donation centers.3
Among the possessions the Kellehers are keeping are three hutches(櫥柜)—one that belonged to his mother, one that belonged to her mother, and one that they purchased together 35 years ago. One shelf is carefully lined with4 teacups Rosalie collected during her world travels. Another houses a delicate tea set(茶具)from Japan, a gift her mother received on her wedding day.
“We really dont need them,” she admits.
That refrain is becoming a common one as baby boomers begin to downsize and discover (as many generations before them have) that their children do not want their stuff.5 In fact, they recoil in something close to horror at the thought of trying to find room for the collections of Hummels; the Thomas Kinkade paintings; the complete sets of fine china and crystal, carefully preserved and brought out at holiday meals.6
For their parents, to have a lifetime of carefully chosen treasures dismissed as garage-sale fodder can be downright painful.7
“When people try to throw something away, they feel like they are losing personal history, losing a bit of themselves, losing a little of their identity, and they fear if they get rid of it theyll never have that same experience again,” says Randy Frost, a psychology professor at Smith College and coauthor of Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things8.
While every generation has its turn with an attachment for antiques or nostalgia for outdated technology, todays tech-heavy culture shows few signs of trading in its sleek, modern designs for dark furniture or knick-knacks from bygone eras.9 And many younger families see trips, vacations, and photos as the repository(貯藏室,寶庫)of family memories—not shelves full of mementoes(紀(jì)念品).
“Their kids oftentimes have homes already, they have families already, they have furnishings already,” says Kate Grondin, owner of Home Transition Resource in Adover, Mass. Ms. Grondin is part of a senior move-management industry that will pack, move, unpack, sell, and donate clients things as they move to smaller homes.endprint
There are other signs that the next stop for those attic treasures may be the town dump(垃圾場). The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo with a specific process for getting rid of things, has sold 1.5 million copies since 2014 in the United States. Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus, otherwise known as The Minimalists(極簡主義者), have published several bestselling memoirs(回憶錄), produced Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things in 2016, and traveled across the US in their “Less is Now Tour 2017.”
When a pile of possessions has come to embody a sense of identity—or even what someone could yet become—its not always easy to figure out what should stay and what should go.10
Dr. Frost recounts the story of a woman who “saved all of these cookbooks and all these recipes,” even though she didnt really know how to cook. “If she were to try to throw some of that stuff away,” he explains, “that [removes] the opportunity for her to become the cook she thinks shed like to be. In a sense, its removing a potential identity for her.”
“You know you dont have space for it”
Judy Maguire of Andover, Mass., and her siblings helped their mother move to an assisted living facility(療養(yǎng)院)after their father died. They carefully selected some furniture and photographs that would make her feel at home.
But then they faced the difficult task of figuring out which heirlooms(傳家寶)to keep for themselves.
“We were all pretty sentimental(多愁善感的),” Ms. Maguire admits.
She recalls the siblings arguing over one particular piece—not over who would get it, but how to stop one sister from keeping what Maguire describes as a “big, hideous piece of furniture.”11
“I said, ‘You know you dont have the space for it. You dont really need that. And she said, ‘I know... I just cant let go of it, ” Maguire says.
They ended up donating the table.
Dr. Frost suggests posing a simple question for those going through this process: “How does this object fit into your life?”
The Kellehers created staging sections(物品暫存區(qū))in their house for specific items, using their kids vacant rooms, the living room, and the sunroom. Eventually, all of the leftover items to be taken away fit into the downstairs rec room(娛樂室= recreation room), half of which had been filled with empty cardboard boxes being saved for some potential use.
Others have found that parting ways with12 familiar possessions actually brings a sense of freedom.endprint
“Its like hes still in college”
Carolyn Ledewitz of Cambridge, Mass., discovered that her son didnt want anything when she downsized. “My son drove all the way up from New York City to go through13 his childhood things. I was appalled when he just grabbed them out of the boxes and dumped them into the trash,” she says.14
Ms. Ledewitz describes her 40-something sons apartment as “so sparse(稀疏的,不充足的)—its like hes still in college. He doesnt have a single picture on the wall” of his Manhattan apartment, she says.
But Ledewitz ended up adopting some of her sons attitude to achieve her goal of living in a sleek city condo(公寓樓里的一套住宅)in Bostons Seaport district. She and her husband made the transition in two steps. First, they downsized from their ranch(大牧場)home in Springfield, Mass., where they had lived for 33 years into a three-story town home nearby.
“I had a china cabinet(瓷器柜)in my dining room with all my wedding presents...my mothers sugar bowl, the silver. I just loved it. I would look at it every day,” she says.
Ultimately, she says, the lifestyle she wanted outweighed15 the things she thought she cherished.
“Over the years, when you cant hand it down16, you have to let it go,” she says. She and her husband are now living out their urban dream.
That said, even professionals are not immune to temptation: Of all their late fathers possessions, Nan Hayes and her siblings found themselves squabbling about a large statue of a conquistador.17 (Ultimately, the brother whose vehicle could transport it lugged home the booty.18)
Ms. Hayes, the business development director of Caring Transitions, spent 10 years as a transition specialist helping individuals downsize their possessions and homes.
“The part of the job I miss the most,” she says, is seeing her clients “so much happier to be where they are19 because they know its where they need to be.”
“Downsizing was challenging, but it was good for my husband and me,” Ledewitz admits. “Its been so nice not worrying about all that stuff. Life is much simpler without all that maintenance(維護(hù),收理).”
1. boomer parents: 指美國嬰兒潮(第二次世界大戰(zhàn)后1946—1964年間的生育高峰)時(shí)期出生的一代人,他們身為父母已達(dá)到退休年齡,他們的孩子也基本長大成人。
2. stuffed animal: 毛絨玩具;accumulate: 積攢。
3. 他們?cè)茸≡隈R薩諸塞州新貝德福德的一個(gè)四居室,房子的閣樓里堆滿了舊印刷品(堆了一米多高),后來搬至一間120多平方米的公寓樓,在那里他們花了六年時(shí)間(處理這些舊印刷品):篩選、分揀、粉碎,或是運(yùn)到捐贈(zèng)中心。attic: 閣樓;stack: 堆放;winnow: 篩選,選??;shred: 用碎紙機(jī)切碎(文件);shlep(p): //〈美口〉拖拽(重物),亦作schlep(p)。endprint
4. line with: 沿著……排列成行。
5.“嬰兒潮”一代在開始削減閑置物時(shí)才意識(shí)到(就像世世代代的父母都經(jīng)歷過的那樣),孩子們不想要父母留傳下來的東西,并會(huì)再三強(qiáng)調(diào)“我真的不需要”。refrain: n. 一再重復(fù)的話(或想法);downsize: 使……(規(guī)模)變小。
6. 實(shí)際上,子女們一想到要找地方安置成套的喜姆娃娃、托馬斯·金凱德系列畫作和一套套精心保存、只有節(jié)日才會(huì)拿出來使用的細(xì)瓷和水晶餐具就發(fā)怵了。recoil in horror: 因害怕往后縮,畏縮;Hummels: 喜姆娃娃,是德國著名的手工瓷偶,所有娃娃形象均來自德國一位名為喜姆的修女的畫稿;Thomas Kinkade: 托馬斯·金凱德(1958—2012),美國畫家,以傳統(tǒng)美國風(fēng)景畫著稱;fine china:細(xì)瓷。
7. dismiss as:(因認(rèn)為……不重要而)不予考慮,拋棄;garage-sale: 在私家車庫進(jìn)行的家中閑置舊貨交易;fodder: 素材,這里指被當(dāng)成閑置舊貨出售的對(duì)象;downright: 徹頭徹尾地,十足地。
8. Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things:《囤積是種病:別讓雜物堵住你的幸?!?,是史密斯學(xué)院心理學(xué)教授、強(qiáng)迫癥研究方面的專家蘭迪·弗羅斯特的代表作。compulsive: 強(qiáng)迫性的;hoard: 貯藏,囤積。
9. 雖說每代人天生都會(huì)舍不得老物件或是懷念已被淘汰的技術(shù),但在如今科技產(chǎn)品層出不窮的文化背景下,幾乎看不到有人用設(shè)計(jì)新穎、現(xiàn)代化的產(chǎn)品換取顏色暗沉的舊家具或是過去的小玩意的。have ones / a turn:(某人)天性具有……;nostalgia: 懷舊;sleek: 時(shí)髦的;knick-knack:小擺設(shè),小玩意兒(尤指小而無用的紀(jì)念品);bygone: 以前的,過去的。
10. 人們收集的物品往往能體現(xiàn)出他對(duì)自己現(xiàn)有身份(甚至將來可能成為的人)的認(rèn)同感,因此判斷該留下什么,該丟掉什么,并不是一件容易的事。embody:使……具體化,具體體現(xiàn)。
11. 馬奎爾夫人仍記得她和兄弟姐妹們?cè)蛞患|西起了爭執(zhí),倒不是為了爭奪它的所屬權(quán),而是她想勸說妹妹丟掉那件她眼中“又笨重又難看”的舊家具。hideous: // 丑得不忍目睹的,令人憎厭的。
12. part ways with: 與……分道揚(yáng)鑣。
13. go through: 徹底檢查,仔細(xì)搜查。
14. appalled: 驚駭?shù)?;dump: 丟棄,扔掉。
15. outweigh: 比……重要。
16. hand down: 把(習(xí)慣、傳家物等)傳給后代。
17. immune: 不受影響的,有免疫力的;late: 已故的,(尤指)新近去世的;squabble(為瑣事)爭吵,發(fā)生口角;conquistador: //(尤指16世紀(jì)在墨西哥、中美洲、南美洲地區(qū)的)西班牙征服者。
18. lug: (用力)拖,拉;booty: 戰(zhàn)利品。
19. to be where they are: 指顧客回到清理過閑置物的家后。endprint