江蘇省興化市大垛中心校 九年級(jí)（2）班 潘 陽(yáng)

My sister has a pair of beautiful eyes.Her eyes are bright.I like her eyes very much.She has a small mouth.When she eats food，she looks like a lady.

Once I failed in my exams.I was very sad.She encouraged me and helped me to find out the reasons.When I was sad，she always took me to eat nice food.Now，she has grown up and worked in other(another)city.We seldom meet and eat food together.But she often gives me some money to buy delicious food.I want to play with her and share things with her.This summer holiday，I shall take the bus to meet her.I shall do a lot of things with her.Then we are all(both)very happy.I hope I can grow up quickly.Then we can live together all the time.

Many people think someone who has a sister will be very happy.So do I.

【習(xí)作點(diǎn)評(píng)】

這是一篇介紹自己家人的習(xí)作。

文章層次清晰，用詞準(zhǔn)確，語(yǔ)句通順。作者從介紹她姐姐的外貌、她喜歡姐姐的原因和表達(dá)作者的情感三個(gè)方面成文。多種時(shí)態(tài)的正確的運(yùn)用及復(fù)合句、倒裝句的靈活的使用，體現(xiàn)了作者扎實(shí)的語(yǔ)言功底。

但如果把other改為another，以及all改為both，文章將會(huì)更加完美。