◆Penelope

高三上學(xué)期的期中考試（也稱“摸底考試”）剛剛結(jié)束，我們便迫不及待地分析下書面表達(dá)的呈現(xiàn)形式。徐州市高三摸底考試的書面表達(dá)在命題之前就被要求嚴(yán)格按照2018年江蘇高考的模式命制。命題人很好地遵循了這一原則。

2018年江蘇高考英語試卷的書面表達(dá)是針對Li Jiang 和Su Hua的兩篇日記談?wù)勅绾慰创M(fèi)排名，理由2～3個(gè)支撐看法。徐州市的這篇書面表達(dá)也同樣編制了Li Jiang 和Su Hua的兩篇日記，要求說的是對在線教育app學(xué)習(xí)的看法，支持還是反對，給出2～3個(gè)理由。類似的作文在2016年江蘇高考中也出現(xiàn)過，那一年寫的是對網(wǎng)絡(luò)投票的看法，文本中也是Li Jiang 和Su Hua兩個(gè)人，一個(gè)對網(wǎng)絡(luò)投票欣賞，一個(gè)表示厭煩。這三篇書面表達(dá)在寫作內(nèi)容中都要求考生用論據(jù)支撐自己的看法，這是重點(diǎn)。這類作文不是思辨，不可以支持和反對同時(shí)闡述。閱卷過程中凡是遇到正反兩個(gè)方面同樣分量寫的作文都會被判在不及格之下。原因有兩點(diǎn)，一是對題目要求沒有領(lǐng)悟；二是“生活中我們從不喜歡沒有立場的人”（某權(quán)威閱卷組長的話）。所以明確立場，把握好角度關(guān)鍵詞，教會學(xué)生如何在這類作文中勝出，至少不能失去不該失的分是我們的當(dāng)務(wù)之急。

下面是徐州市摸底考試的書面表達(dá)，我們就來看看優(yōu)秀的同學(xué)是怎樣按要求呈現(xiàn)自己的看法的，這些習(xí)作不是最好的，但是值得我們學(xué)習(xí)。

(徐州市2018～2019學(xué)年度高三年級第一學(xué)期期中抽測)

第五部分： 書面表達(dá)(滿分25 分)

81.請閱讀下面文字，并按照要求用英語寫一篇150 詞左右的文章。

Li Jiang

When I was in the primary school, I often met with problems which I could not work out on my own, especially in English and arithmetic.So I downloaded an online educational app named Zuoyebang.Since then, I have been using several kinds of such softwares, for example, Xuebajun and Haofenshu.Whenever I have a problem, I will turn to them.As a result, my study has been progressing steadily.I will strongly recommend these apps to my friends.

Su Hua

After entering the senior high, I found I had more and more difficulty learning maths and English.As many online learning products are quite popular among other students, my parents subscribed to one for me too.After that, however, I feel as if I were going to two schools, one real-world school and one online school.Every day I have endless exercises to do and feel very tired.Worse still, I feel I have lost interest in my study now.What shall I do?

【寫作內(nèi)容】

1.用約30詞概括上述利用在線教育app學(xué)習(xí)的現(xiàn)象；

2.你是支持還是反對利用在線教育app學(xué)習(xí)？請談?wù)勀愕目捶?，并?～3個(gè)理由或論據(jù)支撐你的看法。

【寫作要求】

1.寫作過程中不能直接引用原文語句；

2.作文中不能出現(xiàn)真實(shí)姓名和學(xué)校名稱；

3.不必寫標(biāo)題。

我們先看看30詞概括的范文：

Possible version one:

As the Internet combines deeply with education, online learning apps are springing up.Many students have adopted them as efficient learning tools, which may also have negative effects on other students.

Possible version two:

Nowadays, Internet-based learning products are enjoying growing popularity.These apps, easy to access, are playing an increasingly important role in some students’ study.However, results are sometimes unsatisfactory.

上面的兩篇范文中30詞概括的共同之處是，先總寫在線學(xué)習(xí)越來越受到人們的歡迎，而且對學(xué)生學(xué)習(xí)確實(shí)有很大的輔助作用，然后提及其也有負(fù)面影響。這是抓住了重點(diǎn)，合乎章法的做法，且語言精練，表達(dá)中肯，為過渡到第二段很好地發(fā)揮了啟下的作用。

2018年江蘇高考英語作文的30詞概括是對人們依據(jù)消費(fèi)排名購物的看法，也是不同人有不同觀點(diǎn)，范文是這樣呈現(xiàn)的：

As a major channel of consumption information, the rating is an efficient source of information for shopping in our own consumption.Increasingly, the same rating may have different influences on different consumers.

聰明的讀者不難看出這個(gè)30詞概括和上面的相似程度，所以有人就仿寫這個(gè)模式，把徐州摸底考試的作文寫成這樣：

With online learning products springing up in the market, students have alternative approaches to learning outside school.Interestingly, the same online learning apps may have different influences on different students.

仿寫真的是一個(gè)很不錯(cuò)的主意啊！

第二段主題句是我們最關(guān)注的問題——必須明確表達(dá)贊成或者反對！我們先看看范文的形式：

贊成觀點(diǎn)：

In my opinion, online learning apps are an inseparable part of a student’s life and should be welcomed.After all, they are of great help to our study.For example, when I meet with a problem I can’t work out after a few attempts, I will turn to my tutors there.A simple click of the button will bring me the answers, often with detailed analysis and different solutions.Besides, by participating in activities such as talent shows on such websites, I have enjoyed myself and gained confidence.

反對觀點(diǎn)：

To be frank, I hold a negative attitude towards online learning products.First and foremost, they are mostly examination-oriented, and their websites are flooded with exercises and test papers.As a consequence, they are actually increasing our pressure instead of reducing our academic burdens.Worse still, with the aim to make profits some apps also offer games and chatting rooms.Once we become addicted to them and get lost, not only will we waste our money and energy but we will also be distracted from our studies.

無論是贊成還是反對，兩個(gè)版本都在段落的第一句中給出了明確的立場。贊成的論據(jù)是兩點(diǎn)，一是有幫助（of great help），并用例子說明；另一是有趣且能獲得自信（enjoyed myself and gained confidence）。作者使用一個(gè)連接詞“Besides”連接兩點(diǎn)內(nèi)容。表達(dá)反對觀點(diǎn)時(shí)，作者也說兩點(diǎn)：增加額外壓力（increasing our pressure）和浪費(fèi)錢和精力，分散學(xué)習(xí)注意力（waste our money and energy；be distracted from our studies）。下面是學(xué)生們的習(xí)作，看看他們是從哪些角度寫自己的支持和反對的。

Student 1

From my perspective, I firmly believe that their advantages outweigh their disadvantages.Three indispensable reasons lie in my point of view.First and foremost, online apps undoubtedly equip students with opportunities to study without any restriction on time and occasions.To a certain extent, they add a new dimension to study, thus arousing many students’ enthusiasm and motivation in otherwise flat schoolwork.Secondly, chances are that students are confronted with ample difficult questions, which, if not handled on time, will be detrimental to their passion in study.Consequently, online educational apps should be given priority to when teachers are not in our company.Additionally, online educational apps are indeed beneficial to those with independence and innovation in study who can improve their effectiveness and regularly consider what they’ve learned.

Student 2

From where I stand, I hold a positive attitude towards online educational apps.Quite a few reasons give rise to my opinion.Firstly, faced with many problems, as a student, sometimes our teacher can’t help us in time and we can turn to online learning products for help.Secondly, through online learning products, we can wrestle with problems in different dimensions and polish up our learning skills.Thirdly, it is very convenient for us to learn from online educational apps regardless of time and places.

Student 3

I am against the online education.I admit that these apps can help us in some ways, but in the long term, we may develop a sense of reliance, making us lose faith in our own ability and constantly seek the so-called right answers.Also, traditional wisdom has it that no pain no gain.If we use apps too much, we might be inclined to copying the answer without careful thoughts, weakening our thinking skills.Furthermore, exercises are used to test how we learn instead of what the answer actually is.Take my own experience for example.I once downloaded the Zuoyebang and used it almost every day.Since then, my grades have kept falling.Luckily, I have mended my ways and made progress on my own.

這三篇習(xí)作語言老練地道，條理清晰，邏輯性強(qiáng)，立場鮮明地表明觀點(diǎn)，是學(xué)生們學(xué)習(xí)的榜樣。