By Qiu Chen

When you come across a commodity that you like and find it priced a bit beyond your budget, how would you bargain with the shopkeeper?

The most common expression would be, “If you don’t give me a better price, forget it, I am leaving.” Or: “Sir/mam, please, give me a better price.”

However, a better way of saying it could be, “I really like it, and I would love to buy it here, but are you sure your price is as good as other stores’?”

When faced with confrontation, a person is likely to have a negative response. Even in a tough negotiation, it is unwise to let your rival feel cornered. Stuart Diamond, a negotiation expert from America, once mentioned in his research that under the same conditions, the rate of success is only half as much if you take a threatening strategy.

Equally, it is not the best strategy to hand over the right of choice to the other party, especially in circumstances where you need to exert certain pressure on the other.

甜咸比

文/邱晨

看到喜歡卻超過預(yù)算的東西，該怎么跟商家殺價(jià)呢？

常見的說法：“你不賣便宜點(diǎn)，那就算了，我走了?！被蚴牵骸袄习?，你行行好，便宜點(diǎn)賣給我嘛。”

更好的說法：“我確實(shí)很喜歡這件，也很想在你家買，但你總不能賣得比別的店貴呀？”

在被迫選擇的情勢(shì)下，任何人都會(huì)產(chǎn)生負(fù)面應(yīng)激反應(yīng)。即使在“談判”這種劍拔弩張的場(chǎng)景里，讓對(duì)方覺得受到逼迫也是不明智的行為。美國(guó)談判大師戴蒙德研究發(fā)現(xiàn)：在相同的條件下，如果你威脅對(duì)方的話，協(xié)議達(dá)成的成功率只有不威脅的一半而已。

不過，把選擇權(quán)完全交給對(duì)方也不一定總是合適的。特別是在需要給對(duì)方施加壓力的場(chǎng)景里，更是要讓對(duì)方意識(shí)到不能為所欲為。

比如說，很多人以為殺價(jià)就是靠威脅或是撒嬌，其實(shí)這些方法不是太硬就是太軟，前者不給選擇權(quán)，后者給了太多的選擇權(quán)，都沒有戳中店主的痛點(diǎn)。

“你不賣便宜點(diǎn)，那我就走了。”這種威脅雖然偶爾會(huì)奏效，但更多時(shí)候，店主才懶得理你。也有人殺價(jià)是拼命撒嬌：“老板，你行行好，便宜點(diǎn)吧?！钡曛餍那楹玫臅r(shí)候也許會(huì)考慮，不過通常也是無動(dòng)于衷。

Many people think that bargaining is all about making threats or putting out a coquetry appearance, while in fact, these manners are usually too harsh or too soft. The former does not offer your rival much right to choose, while the latter gives too much—neither of which hit home.

“If you don’t have a better price for me, I’m leaving.” Threatening words might work occasionally, but more often than not, the shopkeeper will probably just ignore you. Some people try playing sweetheart: “Mam, please be nice, give me a good price.” The shopkeeper might consider when they are in a good mood, but more likely they’ll just be unmoved.

The reason why these methods fail is that your words don’t mix the sweetness with saltiness. “The ratio of sweetness to saltiness” is a term often used in food industry, where the proportion of sweetness and saltiness in a product needs to be proper in order to produce the best taste. It’s the same with speech, which should blend softness with firmness.

“If you can’t offer me a better price, I am leaving” sounds a bit aggressive—too salty for people to swallow. On the other hand, “Sir, please give me a better price” is too soft and sweet—why should the shopkeeper sell it to you?

So how can you bargain with the right ratio of sweetness to saltiness in your expression? Diamond has a trick for negotiation, which was mentioned earlier: “I really like it, and I would love to buy it here, but are you sure your price is as good as other stores’?” This approach involves three levels of implications: (1) clearly express your fondness; (2) imply the negative factors; (3) exert pressure in a manner of asking for help.

This tact is both sweet and salty, with the right ratio. Sweet in that you tell the shopkeeper that you like it and would love to buy it, salty in that you pressure him in a subtle way to give you a competitive price.

At the end of your bargaining, by asking “are you sure your price is as good as other stores’?” you are politely kicking the ball back to the shopkeeper. It sounds like asking for help, while in fact it is sign of pressure. The shopkeeper will feel like they’re helping you out instead of being compelled to make a business decision.

To sum up, the right ratio of sweetness to saltiness in your words means complete and clear expression of your intention while giving the other space as well. Next time when you bargain, try to employ this trick to make it. You don’t have to recite every word, just grasp the gist of it… Feel free to paraphrase and express it to make it your own in a smart way.

In addition, the sweetness in the ratio doesn’t refer to sweet words only, it’s about speaking out your wishes, your favor, and your feelings, rather than having to specify the advantages of the product.

This principle is applicable to any situation where you need to contend yet not offend. For example, when you want to advise your partner, you might feel that soft words are fruitless and harsh words will hurt. At this moment you can employ the speech technique of mixing sweetness with saltiness.

A good ratio of sweetness to saltiness offers another extra bonus, namely, gentleness. Hand the choosing right to the other party. When we end our sentence with “What do you think?”or “What do you think I should do?” very few people will rudely or immediately reject us. (From Speaking in the Right Way II, Beijing United Publishing Company. Translation: Lu Qiongyao)

這些方法之所以會(huì)失敗，其實(shí)是因?yàn)檎f話中的“甜咸比”不對(duì)。甜咸比是食品業(yè)的一個(gè)術(shù)語(yǔ)，也就是甜味跟咸味的搭配比例要恰到好處，不然就不好吃。說話的時(shí)候也要講究甜咸比，要軟硬適當(dāng)、柔中帶剛。

“你不賣便宜點(diǎn)，我走了?！边@攻擊性太強(qiáng)，太咸了，人家吃不下去。反過來說：“老板，求你便宜點(diǎn)賣給我嘛。”這又太軟、太甜了，人家為什么一定要答應(yīng)你？

甜咸比適當(dāng)?shù)臍r(jià)具體應(yīng)該怎么說？戴蒙德在談判的時(shí)候有個(gè)秘訣，就是前面提到的這句話：“我確實(shí)很喜歡這件，也很想在你家買，但你總不能賣得比別的店貴呀？”

這句話有三個(gè)意思：（1）明確表示贊美；（2）暗示負(fù)面因素；（3）以求助的方式施加壓力。

所以說，像“我確實(shí)很喜歡這件，也很想在你家買，但你總不能賣得比別的店貴呀？”的說法就是有甜有咸，甜咸比例均衡。一方面有點(diǎn)甜，告訴商家“我很想在你家買”，表達(dá)了你的善意跟喜愛；一方面又有點(diǎn)咸，也就是“但你總不能賣得比別的店貴呀”。

特別是最后，你又客客氣氣地把球踢給對(duì)方：“但你總不能賣得比別的店貴呀？”看起來像是求助，其實(shí)是在施加壓力。而對(duì)方此時(shí)如果讓步，會(huì)顯得像是做個(gè)順?biāo)饲?，而不是受到脅迫之后的被逼無奈。

總之，該講的話都講到位，也給了對(duì)方臺(tái)階下，這就是恰如其分的甜咸比的好處。下次殺價(jià)時(shí)，別忘了使用這個(gè)甜咸比的訣竅，提高成功率。當(dāng)然，你也不用一字不漏全背下來，只要掌握這段話的精髓，即：“你有機(jī)會(huì)……但可惜……”你也可以用自己的方式來表達(dá)這個(gè)意思，活學(xué)活用。

另外，甜咸比里的“甜”不是只要嘴巴甜，必須強(qiáng)調(diào)的是你的意愿、你的喜愛、你的心情，而不是真的具體到去稱贊產(chǎn)品有某種優(yōu)點(diǎn)。

在任何需要“斗而不破”的場(chǎng)合，都可以使用這個(gè)原則。比如，伴侶之間想提意見的時(shí)候，往往會(huì)覺得說輕了沒用，說重了又傷感情。這時(shí)候你就可以使用甜咸比的說話技巧。

甜咸比適當(dāng)?shù)脑捳Z(yǔ)還有一個(gè)額外的好處：溫和。把選擇權(quán)交還給對(duì)方。當(dāng)我們用“你覺得呢”“你說我該怎么辦呢”結(jié)尾的時(shí)候，極少有人會(huì)無禮地直接回絕你。

（摘自《好好說話2》北京聯(lián)合出版公司）