JOKES

魏秀麗

Who Is Stupid？

A new teacher was trying to make use of her Psychology courses. She started her class by saying，“Everyone who thinks youre stupid， stand up！” After a few seconds， little Johnny stood up. The teacher said，“Do you think youre stupid， Little Johnny？”

“No， no， but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself！”

誰愚蠢？

一位新老師想試著運(yùn)用她學(xué)過的心理學(xué)。她這樣開始她的課程：“有誰認(rèn)為自己笨就站起來！”過了一會(huì)兒小約翰尼站了起來。

老師說：“你認(rèn)為你笨嗎，小約翰尼？”

“不，老師，可是我不愿看到你一個(gè)人站著。”

Mosquitoes with Lanterns

Two Scotsmen were sleeping in a small hotel in New York. It was then the mosquito season. They had to spend the night defending themselves against the hungry mosquitoes. At last one of them said to the other， “Sandy， I have an idea， let us cover our heads with the quilts.”

After a while， when Sandy was breathing the fresh air， he saw a fire fly—he has never seen such an insect before. He shouted， “My friend， its useless for us to cover our heads， they are looking for us with lanterns.”

打著燈籠的蚊子

有兩個(gè)蘇格蘭人在紐約的一家小旅店里過夜。這個(gè)季節(jié)蚊子很多，他們不得不整夜驅(qū)趕饑餓的蚊子。后來，一個(gè)人對另一個(gè)人說：“桑迪，我想出一個(gè)辦法，用被子蒙住頭。”

過了一會(huì)兒，桑迪露出頭喘氣，看見了一只螢火蟲——他以前從沒見過這種昆蟲，于是大喊：“伙計(jì)，我們蒙住頭也沒用，它們打著燈籠來找我們了。”

It Couldnt Swim the Atlantic

An American who was visiting Scotland met a shepherd with a beautiful sheep dog. The American offered the owner $50 for the dog， but the shepherd refused. “I couldnt part with Jack，” he said.

Just then， a man with an English accent walked up and made the same offer. The? shepherd agreed this money and handed over the dog.

The American was very angry. “You told me you wouldnt sell that dog，” he shouted.

“No， no！” said the shepherd. “I said I couldnt part with him. England is not that far away and Jack will be back in a couple of days. But he couldnt swim the Atlantic. ”

它游不過大西洋

一個(gè)訪問蘇格蘭的美國人碰到一個(gè)牧羊人帶著只漂亮的牧羊狗。美國人愿出價(jià)50美元買這只狗，可是牧羊人拒絕了。“我不能與杰克分離?！彼f。就在這時(shí)，一個(gè)英格蘭口音的人走過來，出同樣的價(jià)錢買那只狗，牧羊人同意了并把狗交了過去。

美國人很生氣。“你跟我說你不愿賣那只狗的！”他大聲喊著。

“不對，不對！”牧羊人說，“我說過我不能與它分離。英格蘭并不太遠(yuǎn)，杰克幾天后就會(huì)回來?？墒?，它游不過大西洋呀?！?/p>