Buying a New Bird

劉銳

After many years of marriage， a husband has turned into a couch potato①， sat drinking beer and watching TV all day. The wife was sad because her husband's didn't pay any attention to her.

This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy. Then one day at a pet store， the wife saw this big， ugly bird.

The shopkeeper found she was interested in the bird. So he told her it was a special “Goony bird” and it had a very special skill. Then he said， “Goony bird！ The table！”

Immediately， the Goony bird flew to the table and smashed② it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws！ The shopkeeper said， “Goony bird！ The shelf！”

Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished③ it in seconds.

“Wow！” said the wife， “If this doesn't attract④ my husband's attention， nothing will！” So she bought the bird and took it home.

When she entered the house， the husband was， as usual， sat on the sofa drinking beer and watching the game. “Honey！” she said， “I've got a surprise for you！ A Goony bird！”

The husband replied， “Goony Bird， my foot！”