提綱挈領(lǐng)尋主句，凝練轉(zhuǎn)換成華章

楊春吉

為深化考試內(nèi)容改革，高考英語(yǔ)綜合寫(xiě)作題型在高考綜合改革試點(diǎn)省份首先使用。新題型包括兩種形式：概要寫(xiě)作和讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)。概要寫(xiě)作是2016年浙江省高考英語(yǔ)首次采用的書(shū)面表達(dá)新題型，該題型旨在考查考生的概括文章主旨大意能力、精準(zhǔn)獲取關(guān)鍵詞能力、重構(gòu)主要信息能力以及靈活創(chuàng)新的表達(dá)能力。

概要寫(xiě)作把閱讀理解和書(shū)面表達(dá)有機(jī)結(jié)合起來(lái)，要求考生運(yùn)用語(yǔ)篇的相關(guān)信息，進(jìn)行控制性寫(xiě)作。概要寫(xiě)作與常規(guī)寫(xiě)作所不同的是：考生作品的相關(guān)信息要從目標(biāo)語(yǔ)篇中汲取，通過(guò)提取、濃縮、精煉、創(chuàng)新、整合等手段，速成一篇60詞左右，同時(shí)符合其他寫(xiě)作要求的短文。

概要寫(xiě)作把考生作品用語(yǔ)的精煉性、語(yǔ)言知識(shí)的準(zhǔn)確性及高級(jí)性、語(yǔ)篇結(jié)構(gòu)的銜接性提到了新高度，是對(duì)考生寫(xiě)作水平的新挑戰(zhàn)。考生作品常見(jiàn)的錯(cuò)誤主要有對(duì)文章大意把握不到位;抓不住文章重點(diǎn);句式、句型轉(zhuǎn)換不當(dāng);替換詞運(yùn)用不當(dāng);銜接詞運(yùn)用失誤;篇幅太長(zhǎng)，等等。究其原因，考生主要是在解題技巧、英語(yǔ)知識(shí)的積累運(yùn)用等方面存在不足。本文擬從六個(gè)方面談?wù)劯乓獙?xiě)作的提分技巧，希望對(duì)同學(xué)們有所幫助。

一、提綱挈領(lǐng)，確定語(yǔ)篇主題句

這是解題的首要環(huán)節(jié)。一篇英語(yǔ)短文，不論是說(shuō)明文、議論文、夾敘夾議文，還是記敘文，作者在構(gòu)思、寫(xiě)作時(shí)總是先圍繞一個(gè)主題，然后運(yùn)用寫(xiě)作提綱，逐步充實(shí)，使其豐盈成文。因此，考生首先要快速瀏覽全文，掌握文章大意。然后找出短文的主題句及每段的分主題句。主題句一般位于篇首或篇末，分主題句一般散布于各段落的段首，便于讀者閱讀和理解文意。此外，諸如so、thus、therefore、however之類(lèi)的信息標(biāo)志詞，它們后面的句子往往是作者對(duì)前文的總結(jié)、概括或引出話題中心，很可能也是主題句。考生只要抓準(zhǔn)了主題句，也就大致確定了概要寫(xiě)作的要點(diǎn)和框架，為下一步寫(xiě)作奠定必要的概要基礎(chǔ)。以2019年浙江卷為例，下文黑體部分即為語(yǔ)篇的主/分題句。

Parents everywhere always praise their kids. Jenn Berman， author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy and Confident Kids， says，“Weve gone to the opposite extreme of a few decades ago when parents tended to be more strict.” By giving kids a lot of praise， parents think theyre building their childrens confidence， when， in fact， it may be just the opposite. Too much praise can backfire and， when given in a way thats insincere， make kids afraid to try new things or take a risk for fear of not being able to stay on top where their parents praise has put them.

Still， dont go too far in the other direction. Not giving enough praise can be just as damaging as giving too much. Kids will feel like theyre not good enough or that you dont care and， as a result， may see no point in trying hard for their accomplishments.

So what is the right amount of praise？ Experts say that the quality of praise is more important than the quantity. If praise is sincere and focused on the effort not the outcome， you can give it as often as your child does something that deserves a verbal reward. “We should especially recognize our childrens efforts to push themselves and work hard to achieve a goal，” says Donahue， author of Parenting Without Fear： Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really Matters.“ One thing to remember is that its the process not the end product that matters.”

Your son may not be the best basketball player on his team. But if hes out there every day and playing hard， you should praise his effort regardless of whether his team wins or loses. Praising the effort and not the outcome can also mean recognizing your child when she has worked hard to clean the yard， cook dinner， or finish a book report. But whatever it is， praise should be given on a case-by-case basis and be proportionate （相稱的） to the amount of effort your child has put into it.

二、結(jié)合段落主題句，厘清段落之間的關(guān)系

這篇文章的總主題句比較難以確定，原因是外文作者在構(gòu)思、行文、闡述觀點(diǎn)時(shí)與中國(guó)人有所不同。加之生詞較多，阻礙了考生對(duì)段落主題句的理解和把握。通過(guò)仔細(xì)理解后，我們確定各段落主題句為：

1.Parents everywhere always praise their kids. （啟）

① when， in fact， it may be just the opposite.（分）

② Still， dont go too far in the other direction.（分）

2.Experts say that the quality of praise is more important than the quantity.（轉(zhuǎn)）

3.But whatever it is， praise should be given on a case-by-case basis and be proportionate （相稱的） to the amount of effort your child has put into it.（總）

通過(guò)理解分析上述各段落主題句的關(guān)系可推斷出：第一句從數(shù)量過(guò)多和數(shù)量不夠兩個(gè)方面說(shuō)明“不恰當(dāng)表?yè)P(yáng)孩子”的壞處。第二句闡述的是專(zhuān)家的觀點(diǎn)，進(jìn)而引出作者的觀點(diǎn)。第三句話綜述上文，闡述了作者自己的觀點(diǎn)。通過(guò)分析，我們可以確定短文的脈絡(luò)架構(gòu)關(guān)系為：?jiǎn)ⅲá佗冢D(zhuǎn)（2）——總（3）式。

厘清段落之間的關(guān)系是進(jìn)行提煉、濃縮寫(xiě)作信息的前提，同時(shí)為下一步概要寫(xiě)作確定寫(xiě)作基調(diào)。

三、凝練主題句，確定關(guān)鍵詞（組）

在確定好主題句，厘清各段落之間的關(guān)系后，考生要依此提煉出每段的關(guān)鍵詞（組）。關(guān)鍵詞（組）是本段大意的濃縮和簡(jiǎn)化。每個(gè)要點(diǎn)都要圍繞關(guān)鍵詞（組）展開(kāi)。凝練關(guān)鍵詞考查考生深層次的信息概括及整合能力。

第一段：overpraise

第二段：inadequate praise

第三段：the effort is more important than the result

第四段：Parents praise should have something in speech and match the effort of their children.

四、運(yùn)用“變式”表達(dá)手法，改寫(xiě)要點(diǎn)句

《考試要求》中對(duì)概要寫(xiě)作的閱卷要求之一是考生應(yīng)用語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯的準(zhǔn)確性。這就要求考生用自己的語(yǔ)言進(jìn)行改寫(xiě)。同時(shí)，時(shí)態(tài)、語(yǔ)態(tài)、語(yǔ)法、詞匯等要準(zhǔn)確無(wú)誤。大致可以從以下三個(gè)方面進(jìn)行轉(zhuǎn)換、改寫(xiě)。

1.語(yǔ)態(tài)轉(zhuǎn)換

主要指根據(jù)字?jǐn)?shù)需要把主動(dòng)句轉(zhuǎn)換為被動(dòng)句或者把被動(dòng)句轉(zhuǎn)換為主動(dòng)句。轉(zhuǎn)換時(shí)，考生要注意四點(diǎn)：同義轉(zhuǎn)換;時(shí)態(tài)正確;形式多樣;簡(jiǎn)短為宜。如：短文最后一句“But whatever it is， praise should be given on a case-by-case basis and be proportionate （相稱的） to the amount of effort your child has put into it.”可以轉(zhuǎn)換為主動(dòng)句“parents should be aware that praise needs to be task-specific and match the amount of efforts of their children have made.”。

2.句型轉(zhuǎn)換

英語(yǔ)中有許多高級(jí)、實(shí)用的句型，如it句型、there be句型、名詞性從句句型，等等?？忌暨\(yùn)用合理，不僅能“簡(jiǎn)化”篇章，省詞約句，行文整齊劃一，整體感強(qiáng)，而且還凸顯出考生雄厚的寫(xiě)作功底，值得閱卷教師“點(diǎn)贊”。如“when， in fact， it may be just the opposite.”的前后句根據(jù)句意可改寫(xiě)為which引導(dǎo)的非限制性定語(yǔ)從句“Nowadays parents tend to overpraise their children， which may have bad effects.”。而“Experts say that the quality of praise is more important than the quantity. ”可以改寫(xiě)為“Experts suggest that parents pay their attention to the quality of their praise and focus on the efforts rather than the result.”。

3.詞匯轉(zhuǎn)換

對(duì)于“關(guān)鍵詞”的轉(zhuǎn)化和改寫(xiě)可以采用以下方法：

（1）同義詞法：考生可以根據(jù)文/段意、結(jié)合關(guān)鍵詞的詞義及用法，用同義詞（必要時(shí)也可用近義詞）進(jìn)行“同源”替換。如：too much praise →overpraise。

（2）同義詞組/句法：考生若從記憶中搜尋找不到相關(guān)的同義詞（或近義詞），此時(shí)，可以轉(zhuǎn)用同義（或近義）詞組、短語(yǔ)，甚至是句子、句型。轉(zhuǎn)換時(shí)要正確使用，符合邏輯。如第二段可以轉(zhuǎn)換為：Inadequate praise can be equally harmful.

五、巧用結(jié)構(gòu)詞（組），銜接成文

麻雀雖小，五臟俱全。盡管你速成的是一篇60詞左右的短文，也要運(yùn)用高級(jí)表達(dá)，使作品結(jié)構(gòu)合理，渾然一體。文后答案中就運(yùn)用了however...，in fact...，all in all...等結(jié)構(gòu)詞，使上下文緊密結(jié)合，環(huán)環(huán)相扣，流暢合理。

“結(jié)構(gòu)詞（組）”是文章的“筋骨”和“橋梁”，是句與句、段與段之間的“黏合劑”。根據(jù)句意或上下文、前后段關(guān)系巧妙運(yùn)用“過(guò)渡詞（組）”，使語(yǔ)句順理成章，邏輯嚴(yán)謹(jǐn);篇章層次井然，渾然一體。尤其是議論文的寫(xiě)作，考生依據(jù)論點(diǎn)、結(jié)合論據(jù)進(jìn)行逐層論證時(shí)，關(guān)聯(lián)詞是必不可少的，否則會(huì)給人一種雜亂無(wú)章的感覺(jué)。高考閱卷教師在閱卷時(shí)非常注重這一點(diǎn)。同學(xué)們?cè)趥淇加?xùn)練時(shí)一定要落實(shí)相應(yīng)體裁的寫(xiě)作規(guī)范，形成模式，養(yǎng)成習(xí)慣，這樣才能出手有范，行文有序，寫(xiě)出高水平作文。以下列舉部分關(guān)聯(lián)詞：

并列關(guān)系 and， still， also， as well， as well as， or， besides， when（并列連詞，相當(dāng)于and then/and at that time）

not only...， but also...; either...or...; neither...nor...; not...but...; some...， others...; both...and...; the former...， the latter...; on the one hand...， on the other hand...

層次關(guān)系 first， second， third， finally， first and foremost， lastly but certainly not least， first of all， besides/whats more， finally/lastly/last but not least， for one thing， for another; on the one hand...， on the other hand...

遞進(jìn)關(guān)系 besides， moreover， furthermore， additionally， whats more， in addition， whats worse， to make things worse

條件關(guān)系 if， unless， once， when， while， without， in case， on the condition that， as/so long as， in this/that case， only if， if only， but for， suppose/supposing/lets suppose...， provided/proving that...; where there is ...， there is ...

轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系 but， however， yet， otherwise， instead， while， when， on the contrary， whereas， nevertheless

讓步關(guān)系 though， although， in spite of， despite， when， that， while，regardless of， even though/if， wh-ever（包括however）， no matter +wh-（包括how）， whether... or...，for all that， in spite of the fact that

評(píng)述關(guān)系 in fact， actually， as a matter of fact， to tell you the truth， truth to tell， honestly speaking， generally speaking， strictly speaking， partly speaking， exactly speaking， honestly speaking， personally speaking， roughly speaking， frankly speaking， considering， speaking for oneself， talking of， in ones opinion/view?歸納、

總結(jié) on the whole， in conclusion， in a word， in brief， in summary， in short， all in all， at last， in general， eventually， after all， to sum up

六、全方位檢查

考生在寫(xiě)作時(shí)，最好要先打草稿。在打完草稿后，考生可以從以下幾個(gè)角度進(jìn)行全方位檢查，檢查、潤(rùn)色無(wú)誤后再規(guī)范、認(rèn)真地抄在答題紙上。

1.你的作品是否緊扣了文章的主題？

2.關(guān)鍵句是否用“變式”手法改寫(xiě)了？改寫(xiě)得是否符合文義？

3.“結(jié)構(gòu)詞/組”的使用是否恰當(dāng)？是否正確表達(dá)了“上下文”的結(jié)構(gòu)關(guān)系？

4.同義轉(zhuǎn)換時(shí)，高級(jí)表達(dá)的運(yùn)用是否恰當(dāng)？

5.作品的詞數(shù)是否合理（以60詞左右為宜）？

2019年浙江卷概要寫(xiě)作參考答案：

Nowadays parents tend to overpraise their children，which may have bad effects. However， inadequate praise can be equally harmful. In fact， experts suggest that parents pay their attention to the quality of their praise and focus on the efforts rather than the result. All in all， parents should be aware that praise needs to be task-specific and match the amount of efforts of their children have made. （66 words）

對(duì)于概要寫(xiě)作題，考生要想達(dá)到提分目的，除了掌握上述解題技巧，備考期間還要進(jìn)行英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)法知識(shí)的積累、詞匯知識(shí)的積淀、“變式”表達(dá)法的拓展，等等。同時(shí)考生還要進(jìn)行足量的考前模擬訓(xùn)練，領(lǐng)悟題型特點(diǎn)，掌握解題規(guī)律，把握提分技巧。若做好上述諸項(xiàng)，高分作文非你莫屬！