沉默的友誼

Connie stared out the window， oblivious to the instructor.

I was her birth partner， and we were in the first of several birthing classes required by the hospital. Everyone except the earth mother-type instructor was at least 10 years younger than Connie， and I had another decade on all of them. Besides being older， we were the only pair of women， and Connie was the only Chinese person. We definitely stood out in our small Connecticut hospital. Earth mother had just posed a typical icebreaker question， and it was Connies turn to answer. It was clear she wasnt paying attention.

I caught Connies eye. “She wants to know your favorite ice cream flavor.” Connies face registered surprise that only I could detect. Shes supposed to teach us about having a baby. Why ask about my favorite ice cream？ Her expression asked.

Because everyones a little nervous here except for you， Id later explain， but in the moment， as earth mother wanted us to be， I rolled my eyes and jerked my head： “Just answer the stupid question.”

“Red bean，” she said to no one， and returned to the window. I smiled brightly at the blank white faces. “Chinese ice cream！” I explained.

Unlike most close friends， Connie and I dont talk much. It isnt the slight language barrier that weve long since overcome， its that we both like to be quiet. Five years before the birthing class， Connie and her fast-talking husband had just opened a restaurant near our condo. My husband， Charlie， also no slouch in the verbalization department， would order sushi and chat with Connies husband when picking up the order. But it was Connie who always answered the phone. Soon recognizing our number， shed chirp “Charlie！” into the phone， and in 10 minutes the order would be ready.

Occasionally I went along. While our husbands talked， Connie would act as hostess， take phone orders， waitress， make drinks， and work the drive-in window， and watch me sit silently. One Sunday she sat down across from me. She tilted her head a little， and said：“You are quiet. I am quiet. Our husbands， not so quiet.” There was a small smile. She touched my arm. And she was back to work. That declaration of friendship moved us to a place most friends take years to reach， if they get there at all.

Not many words have been spilled between us since then.

Connie at the drive-in window： “Hospital says I need a partner for birth classes.”

Me： “Meet you there？”

Me， as we timed labor pains： “You should teach me Chinese.”

Connie： “Huh？ Maybe. Someday.”

Connie on the phone from China， visiting her family with her newborn son： “Pregnant again. Unbelievable！”

Me： “Do we need to do classes again？”

Connie： “No. We know now. Go to the hospital. Have baby. Come home. Simple.”

Connie， six months later： “Babys early. Hes in NICU.”

Me： “On my way.”

Connie and I， side by side in the pristine， antiseptic NICU， watching the tiniest boy in the world， his little chest rising and falling. Saying nothing.

Her boys， now 5 and 6， spend most Fridays with Charlie and me. Connie has left her talkative husband and works two full-time jobs to “give the boys a good life.” No whining. No complaints. A full-time mother， she checks homework， drives them to karate， takes them to New York at Christmas to see the tree. I worry she has no life， that shes exhausted.

“Dont worry，” Connie says. “Im OK.”

Shes my hero. The strong， silent type. Even if she hasnt taught me Chinese. After all， quiet sounds the same in both languages.

康妮凝視著窗外，沒(méi)有注意到講師。

我是她的生產(chǎn)搭檔，醫(yī)院要求我們上幾堂產(chǎn)前課程，這是我們的第一堂課。除了講師大媽外，其他人都至少比康妮小十歲，比我小二十歲。我們除了年紀(jì)比較大之外，還是唯一一對(duì)女性搭檔，而康妮是唯一一個(gè)中國(guó)人。在我們所在的康涅狄格小醫(yī)院里，我們無(wú)疑很引人注目。講師大媽剛剛問(wèn)了個(gè)讓大家互相熟悉的典型問(wèn)題，輪到康妮回答了。顯然，她沒(méi)有認(rèn)真聽(tīng)。

我看著康妮的眼睛?！八胫滥阕钕矚g的雪糕口味?！笨的莸哪樕下冻隽酥挥形也挪煊X(jué)得到的驚訝。她應(yīng)該教我們?cè)趺瓷a(chǎn)。為什么要問(wèn)我最喜歡的雪糕口味？她的表情發(fā)出這樣的疑問(wèn)。

因?yàn)檫@里的每個(gè)人都有點(diǎn)兒緊張，除了你，我之后會(huì)這樣解釋，但在當(dāng)下，由于講師大媽希望我們那樣做，我翻個(gè)白眼，扭頭道：“回答那個(gè)蠢問(wèn)題就好?！?/p>

“紅豆，”她朝著空氣說(shuō)道，又轉(zhuǎn)頭看向窗戶。我對(duì)著一頭霧水的其他人露出一個(gè)明亮的笑容?！爸袊?guó)的雪糕！”我解釋道。

與許多親密的朋友不同，我和康妮之間的交流并不多。這并不是因?yàn)樾⌒〉恼Z(yǔ)言障礙，這一點(diǎn)我們?cè)缫芽朔且驗(yàn)槲覀儍蓚€(gè)都不怎么喜歡說(shuō)話。在參加產(chǎn)前課程的五年前，康妮和她那嘴快的丈夫在我們公寓附近開(kāi)了一家餐館。我那同樣愛(ài)說(shuō)話的丈夫查理會(huì)在打電話點(diǎn)壽司時(shí)和康妮的丈夫聊天。但通常接電話的人都是康妮。很快，她就認(rèn)得我們的號(hào)碼了，這時(shí)她會(huì)對(duì)著電話大叫一聲“查理”，而在十分鐘后，我們的訂餐就會(huì)準(zhǔn)備好。

我偶爾也會(huì)過(guò)去。當(dāng)我們的丈夫在聊天時(shí)，康妮就會(huì)又當(dāng)老板娘又當(dāng)服務(wù)生、還要接電話、弄飲料、在窗口服務(wù)不下車的客人，以及看著在一旁靜坐的我。一個(gè)星期天，她在我對(duì)面坐了下來(lái)。她微微側(cè)頭，說(shuō)：“你很安靜。我也很安靜。我們丈夫，不太安靜?！彼⑽⒁恍?，碰碰我的手臂，便回去工作了。我們建立的友誼是很多朋友要花費(fèi)數(shù)年才能培養(yǎng)出來(lái)的，要是他們真能結(jié)成這樣的友誼。

那之后，我們也沒(méi)說(shuō)過(guò)太多的話。

康妮站在服務(wù)不下車的客人的窗口旁：“醫(yī)院說(shuō)我需要一個(gè)產(chǎn)前課程的搭檔。”

我說(shuō)：“那在醫(yī)院見(jiàn)？”

當(dāng)我們計(jì)算產(chǎn)前陣痛的時(shí)間時(shí)，我說(shuō)：“你應(yīng)該教我中文?！?/p>

康妮說(shuō)：“哼？也許，有一天吧?！?/p>

康妮帶著她剛出生的兒子回中國(guó)探望她的家人，她打電話過(guò)來(lái)跟我說(shuō)：“我又懷孕了。真不敢相信！”

我說(shuō)：“我們要再參加產(chǎn)前課程嗎？”

康妮說(shuō)：“不需要了。我們現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)知道該怎么做。去醫(yī)院。生孩子?；丶?。很簡(jiǎn)單。”

六個(gè)月后，康妮說(shuō)：“孩子早產(chǎn)了，正在新生兒重癥監(jiān)護(hù)病房?！?/p>

我說(shuō)：“我現(xiàn)在過(guò)來(lái)?！?/p>

我和康妮肩并肩地站在潔白無(wú)菌的新生兒重癥監(jiān)護(hù)病房里，看著這個(gè)小小的男孩，他那小小的胸膛一起一伏的。我們什么話也沒(méi)有說(shuō)。

她的兩個(gè)兒子現(xiàn)在分別五歲和六歲了，他們經(jīng)常會(huì)跟我和查理共度星期五。康妮離開(kāi)了她那個(gè)健談的丈夫，為了“讓兩個(gè)兒子過(guò)上好生活”，現(xiàn)在干著兩份全職工作。沒(méi)有發(fā)牢騷。沒(méi)有抱怨。作為一個(gè)全職媽媽，她會(huì)檢查孩子的作業(yè)，開(kāi)車送他們?nèi)ド峡帐值琅嘤?xùn)班，在圣誕節(jié)時(shí)帶他們?nèi)ゼ~約看圣誕樹(shù)。我擔(dān)心她沒(méi)有個(gè)人生活，太過(guò)勞累。

“不要擔(dān)心，”康妮說(shuō)?！拔覜](méi)事。”

她是我的英雄。堅(jiān)強(qiáng)沉默的英雄。盡管她沒(méi)有教我中文。畢竟，沉默在兩種語(yǔ)言里都是一樣的。