Cheap Shoots

楊婷婷

With his satirical novelFortress Besieged（《圍城》）， writer Qian Zhongshu （錢鐘書） earned himself a reputation as a master of sarcastic mockery with biting remarks like： “For ugly people， to be looked at closely is an act of cruelty （對于丑人，細(xì)看是一種殘忍?Du#y% ch6ur9n， x#k3n sh# y# zh6ng c1nr0n）.”

Not all of us can be as witty with our barbs as Qian Zhongshu， but the expression 奪筍?（du5 s^n） has lately become trendy for describing mean or sarcastic words and actions one encounters in everyday life. Literally meaning “to snatch bamboo shoots，” the phrase is chosen for its similar pronunciation to 多損?（du4 s^n， mean）， and is based on the real-life habit of pandas fighting each other in the wild for first dibs on their staple food. The buzzword was popularized by Guo Laoshi， an influencer known for speaking in the humorous accents of Dongbei （northeastern China）， the language of Chinese comedy.

Acts of meanness can range from the jovial to the serious. During the Covid-19 pandemic when social distancing was put into effect across China， one could say to unexpected guests who showed up at ones home： “The epidemic is so serious， but youre still visiting peoples homes. How mean！ （疫情這么嚴(yán)重了還上人家串門，奪筍啊?Y#q！ng zh-me y1nzh7ng le h1i sh3ng r9njia chu3nm9n， du5 s^n a?。?But if you were shocked to find yourself falling for an April Fools Day trick， you could also say， as a compliment to the joker， “Youve snatched all the bamboo shoots on the mountain （山上的筍都被你奪完了?Sh`nshang de s^n d4u b-i n@ du5w1n le）！”

A subculture of celebrity fans delights in 奪筍?behavior. Calling themselves 筍絲?（s^ns～， “bamboo fans” or “mean fans”）， the portmanteau of 奪筍?and fan （粉絲?f0ns～）， such people dont fawn over their idol， but will play pranks and take humorous pot-shots at celebrities as a way to catch their attention and personalize interactions. This rebellious fan community emerged from the talent showChuang 2021， which featured an unmotivated Russian contestant called Lelush. Somehow， the reluctant idol attracted a growing fanbase who kept voting him up the ranks though he repeatedly said he wanted to quit the show.

Bitterness tends to replicate itself， and a biting remark often leads to a string of sarcastic replies， where each party tries to one-up the other with backhanded compliments. Such remarks have given birth to the phrase， 傷害性不強(qiáng)，侮辱性極高?（sh`ngh3ix#ng b& qi1ng， w$r^x#ng j！ g`o， “damage level not strong， but humiliation level high”）， to describe comebacks that pack a punch without using any swear words or direct insults.

For instance， lets say you offer your seat to a granny on a crowded bus， and she then laments that you have to squeeze onto a crowded bus rather than drive a car， like her more successful son. Whats the best comeback？ Perhaps try， “Actually， I used my money to buy a car for my mother， so she wouldnt have to take the bus （實際上，我給我媽買了輛車，這樣她就不用搭公交了?Sh！j# shang， w6 g0i w6 m` m2ile li3ng ch8， zh-y3ng t` ji_ b%y7ng d` g4ngji`o le）.”

Or maybe you can just smile and turn the other cheek. Try to be a little better than pandas fighting for scraps of bamboo in the wild.