被“天使”吻過的歌聲

廣東 袁丹純

患有先天性生理缺陷的埃米莉·懷特有著美妙的好嗓音，她想要參加一年一度的表演卻被音樂老師歐文斯夫人無情拒絕。在她遇見新的音樂老師巴特勒先生后，出現(xiàn)了新的轉(zhuǎn)機(jī)。

1Emily White was born with so many birth problems in her body 17 years ago.Some of her organs,bones and muscles were out of shape,because of which no one expected her to survive long.To everyone's surprise,she did make it but with her strange body figure.Everyone could recognize her,even from a distance.

2In her hometown,a yearly outdoor performance was held in the school auditorium(禮堂).It had been performed for so many years and actually had become one of the most important events of the Christmas season for many of the locals.

3Many people tried out each year for it,but so many were turned away.It can only include the most excellent people in the field.

4Emily had a beautiful singing voice.Last year she went to Mrs Owens,her music teacher,to ask to join in the performance.Without letting her sing,Mrs Owens took a glance at Emily's body and said,“Child,you are just not suitable.Everyone would stare at you and that would make you uncomfortable.It would make them uncomfortable,too.”

5Without singing a single note,Emily was sent back through the door of the choral room.Hurt and upset,she decided never to try out again.But Mrs Owens then retired.

6This year,there came a new music teacher,Mr Butler.He heard about Emily and suggested that she have a try.

7Afraid to be rejected again,Emily hesitated about it.As Emily struggled,the door was pushed open and Mr Butler called,“Emily,you're next.”Kind of nervous as she was,Emily did as Mr Butler told her to.Mr Butler sat by the piano to keep Emily company.When Emily finished h er testing performance,she thanked Mr Butler and knew the result would be posted on the door of the choral room the next day.

8Emily couldn't sleep that night.She tossed and turned in bed one thousand times.She wassuffering fromthe feelings that she didn't fit and the great need to be accepted.By the next morning,she still got butterflies in her stomach.

閱讀上面的短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1:

Emily hurried to the choral room and anxiously glanced at the list on the door._________

Paragraph 2:

Finally,the day for the performance came.

寫作導(dǎo)引

Ⅰ.Sorting the elements

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Ⅱ.Analyzing the characters'personalities

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Ⅲ.Exploring the theme

What is the text about?And what does the author want to tell us by telling this story?

Ⅳ.Discovering language features

1.Analyzing language features

（1）豐富的with/without結(jié)構(gòu)，使文章較為活潑、靈動(dòng)。

Emily White was born with so many birth problems in her body 17 years ago.(Para.1)

Without letting her sing,Mrs Owens took a glance at Emily's body...(Para.4)

Without singing a single note,Emily was sent back through the door of the choral room.(Para.5)

（2）過去分詞作伴隨狀語，與邏輯主語為被動(dòng)關(guān)系，使用較為地道。

Hurt and upset,she decided never to try out again.(Para.5)

整體而言，城市的磁力，往往在魯迅身陷逆境中表現(xiàn)得尤為明顯，如紹興、仙臺(tái)、廈門、廣州等，當(dāng)魯迅每次遇到急流險(xiǎn)灘，感到舉步維艱之時(shí)，現(xiàn)代城市都充當(dāng)了他的諾亞方舟，發(fā)揮了施救作用，使他重燃希望。它適時(shí)挽救了“鄉(xiāng)間”[3]和“孤島”[4]上一顆疲命掙扎的靈魂，幫助魯迅從精神困境中找到一條生路，從而制止他退化為“村人”[5]、“木偶人”[6]。這從魯迅的“東京→紹興”“東京→仙臺(tái)”“北京→廈門、廣州”等行程中可見一斑。

（3）“adj.+as/though＋主語+謂語”結(jié)構(gòu)一方面強(qiáng)調(diào)形容詞，一方面讓讀者眼前一亮，令讀者印象深刻。

Kind of nervous as she was,Emily did as Mr Butler told her to.(Para.7)

（4）形象的比喻修辭手法，讓表達(dá)更生動(dòng)有趣。

By the next morning,she still got butterflies in her stomach（非常緊張）.（Para.8）

2.Discovering useful expressions

hurt and upset又傷心又沮喪

kind of nervous as she is盡管她有些緊張

make sb uncomfortable讓某人不舒服

struggle掙扎

toss and turn in bed one thousand times輾轉(zhuǎn)難眠

suffer from忍受……

the great need to be accepted急需被接納

get butterflies in her stomach非常緊張

Ⅴ.Conceiving new plots

續(xù)寫第一段：

從文章最后一段埃米莉徹夜難眠，緊張等待選拔結(jié)果的情節(jié)可以推測(cè)出在未看到結(jié)果前埃米莉的緊張心理，推薦表達(dá)有“S hake violently,vibrate with tension and chew her lower lip nervously,feeling as if her heart would jump out.”。

從續(xù)寫第一段的段首句，我們得知埃米莉即將得知結(jié)果，我們可根據(jù)以下問題鏈推測(cè)：

1.What would the result be like given the fact that Emily had a beautiful singing voice?

2.What would Emily do and say after knowing the result?

3.Would Mr Butler show up at this special moment?

續(xù)寫第二段的段首句“Finally,the day for the performance came.（終于，表演那一天來了）”預(yù)示了埃米莉應(yīng)該通過了選拔，并暗示通過用心排練，埃米莉“終于”迎來這一天。因此，在續(xù)寫的第一段應(yīng)該包括以上的信息。

續(xù)寫第二段：

結(jié)合續(xù)寫第二段的段首句和以下問題，我們可以進(jìn)行推測(cè)：

1.How would Emily feel when she showed up on the stage given the fact that she lacked self-confidence?

2.If Emily didn't feel confident on the stage,who might help her?

觀察故事開始的情節(jié)，根據(jù)首尾呼應(yīng)的原則，預(yù)測(cè)最后一段的內(nèi)容。

Would Emily become different although she still had“so many birth problems in her body”?

從作者的寫作目的推測(cè)結(jié)局的走向。為了保持與前文主題的一致性，我們可以推測(cè)故事的結(jié)局——埃米莉或許通過老師的鼓勵(lì)在這次表演上取得成果，獲得信心，呼應(yīng)主題。表示“開心或滿意”的相關(guān)表達(dá)有feel a sudden tingle of excitement、in a state of great excitement、beam with smiles/joy。