朱紅虹

一、策略概述

在讀后續(xù)寫中，構建出好的框架是寫出邏輯合理、語意銜接的文章的前提。因此，我們在寫作前要構建好續(xù)寫框架，寫作時才會思路清晰，寫出與原文銜接合理、符合邏輯的續(xù)文。

筆者通過研究近幾年的高考真題，總結出操作性強的讀后續(xù)寫框架：Tea Meat 框架。即：

Transitional sentence銜接句→Emotion or Environment心理描寫/環(huán)境描寫→Action 動作一→Monologue or Conversation獨白/對話→Emotion or Environment心理描寫/環(huán)境描寫→Action 動作二→Transitional sentence銜接句或者Theme主題句。

框架中的具體描寫可根據(jù)故事情節(jié)需要適當調整順序。

讀后續(xù)寫常用的寫作框架：

第一段：首句（已給出）。第一句：Transitional sentence銜接句承上（回應首句的內容）→第二句：Emotion or Environment心理描寫/環(huán)境描寫→第三句：Action 動作一→第四句：Monologue or Conversation獨白/對話→第五句：Emotion or Environment心理描寫/環(huán)境描寫→第六句：Action 動作二→第七句：Transitional sentence銜接句啟下（結合第二段首句，結束第一段）。

第二段：首句（已給出）。第一句：Transitional sentence銜接句承上（回應首句的內容）→第二句：Emotion or Environment心理描寫/環(huán)境描寫→第三句：Action 動作一→第四句：Monologue or Conversation獨白/對話→第五句：Emotion or Environment心理描寫/環(huán)境描寫→第六句：Action 動作二（解決問題）→第七句：Theme回歸主題，感情升華。

本文以高考題為例，分析如何在Tea Meat框架下，完成續(xù)寫。

二、實例分析

（2020年7月浙江卷）閱讀下面短文 ，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫，使之構成一個完整的故事。

One fall， my wife Elli and I had a single goal： to photograph polar bears. We were staying at a research camp outside“the polar bear capital of the world”—the town of Churchill in Manitoba， Canada.

Taking pictures of polar bears is amazing but also dangerous. Polar bears—like all wild animals—should be photographed from a safe distance. When I’m face to face with a polar bear， I like it to be through a camera with a telephoto lens. But sometimes， that is easier said than done. This was one of those times.

As Elli and I cooked dinner， a young male polar bear who was playing in a nearby lake sniffed， and smelled our garlic bread. The hungry bear followed his nose to our camp， which was surrounded by a high wire fence. He pulled and bit the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts.

Terrified， Elli and I tried all the bear defense actions we knew. We yelled at the bear， hit pots hard， and fired blank shotgun shells into the air. Sometimes loud noises like these will scare bears off. Not this polar bear though—he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws （爪子）.

I radioed the camp manager for help. He told me a helicopter was on its way， but it would be 30 minutes before it arrived. Making the best of this close encounter（相遇）， I took some pictures of the bear. Elli and I feared the fence wouldn’t last through

30 more minutes of the bear’s punishment. The camp manager suggested I use pepper spray. The spray burns the bears’ eyes， but doesn’t hurt them.

So I approached our uninvited guest slowly and， through the fence， sprayed him in the face. With an angry roar（吼叫），? the bear ran to the lake to wash his eyes.

注意：

1. 續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為 150 左右;

2. 請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。

Paragraph 1：

A few minutes later， the bear headed back to our camp. _____________________________________________________

Paragraph 2：

At that very moment， the helicopter arrived. __________________________________________________________________

主旨大意

我和妻子想給北極熊拍照。因為給北極熊拍照既令人感到激動又是一件很危險的事情，因此，我們在“the polar bear capital of the world”扎營，希望可以近距離拍照。當我們在做晚飯的時候，有一只北極熊在附近的湖邊玩，聞到了我們的面包，然后對我們營地進行攻擊。我們采取了一系列的行動想要嚇走北極熊，但是沒用。最后我們向營地管理人求助。在等待救援的過程中，北極熊還在不斷的吼叫，攻擊。

根據(jù)給出的段首句，結合Tea Meat 框架?？梢詷嬎祭m(xù)寫框架。

第一段：首句（已給出）。A few minutes later， the bear headed back to our camp.

第一句：Transitional sentence銜接句承上（回應首句的內容）。He roared even more angrily this time.

第二句：Emotion 心理描寫。Panicked as we were， Elli and I screamed at the top of our lungs.

第三句：Action 動作一。The bear smashed his paws crazily against the wire fence， trying to stab us with his sharp claws.

第四句： Conversation對話。“Step back！”I shouted with my voice trembling.

第五句：Action 動作二。We waved our fists at him in an attempt to intimidate and scare him away.

第六句：Emotion 心理描寫。To our disappointment， all these efforts were in vain.

第七句：Transitional sentence銜接句啟下（結合第二段首句，結束第一段）。The bear violently dashed against the wooden posts which were evidently on the verge of collapsing！

第二段：首句（已給出）。At that very moment， the helicopter arrived.

第一句：Transitional sentence銜接句承上（回應首句的內容）。The gusting wind from the the helicopter swept away our fear immediately.

第二句：Action 動作一。Out of the helicopter descended a rope to pull us up.

第三句：Emotion 心理描寫。Thrilled and frightened， we grabbed the rope and eventually climbed up the helicopter.

第四句：Monologue 獨白?！癢hat an experience！”， I murmured.

第五句：Action 動作二。While looking at the chunky bear from high above， I was amazed to spot this stubborn guy had crushed the fence and headed toward our camp for the inviting garlic bread.

第六句：Emotion 心理描寫（解決問題）。Feeling relieved， We were saved and safe in the helicopter.

第七句：Theme回歸主題，感情升華。At this once in a lifetime moment， I reached into my backpack and pulled out the camera， photographing that impressive scene.

參考范文：

A few minutes later， the bear headed back to our camp. He roared even more angrily this time.（T）Panicked as we were， Elli and I screamed at the top of our lungs.（E）The bear smashed his paws crazily against the wire fence， trying to stab us with his sharp claws.（A）“Step back！”I shouted with my voice trembling.（C）We waved our fists at him in an attempt to intimidate and scare him away.（A）To our disappointment， all these efforts were in vain.（E）The bear violently dashed against the wooden posts which were evidently on the verge of collapsing！（T）

At that very moment， the helicopter arrived. The gusting wind from the helicopter swept away our fear immediately.（T）Out of the helicopter descended a rope to pull us up.（A）Thrilled and frightened， we grabbed the rope and eventually climbed up the helicopter.（E+A）“What an experience！”， I murmured.（M）While looking at the chunky bear from high above， I was amazed to spot this stubborn guy had crushed the fence and headed toward our camp for the inviting garlic bread.（A）Feeling relieved， We were saved and safe in the helicopter.（E）（解決問題）At this once in a lifetime moment， I reached into my backpack and pulled out the camera， photographing that impressive scene.（T）

三、靈活運用

請運用Tea Meat 構思框架，寫后續(xù)文。

（2020佛山二模）閱讀下面短文 ，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫，使之構成一個完整的故事。

This was it.

Today was the day.

Finally， she would be able to see her again.

It’d been five long years. Her university days now felt like a lifetime ago. When Jennifer thought back to it， she didn’t like the girl she had been then， but when she thought about Yui Fay， that discomfort disappeared and her whole life lit up.

She couldn’t be more excited. She kept imagining their meeting – how they would run towards each other， hugging and talking of the old times. As she imagined， happiness spread through her body.

It was time to get dressed. As she was struggling about what to wear， she spotted a red summer dress， which she wore that night in Barcelona. She would never forget that night five years before. After a hard week at university， Yui Fay and she spontaneously（心血來潮地）bought bus tickets to Barcelona. They slept on the bus and then spent the whole day exploring the city. In the evening， they met these fun young guys and spent the whole night singing and dancing. Every day with Yui Fay was fun.

After university Yui Fay went back to China where she took over her family’s business， while Jennifer took the job in an office. They promised to keep in contact. But then life happened. The occasional calls faded with time and they had not talked for over two years. Yet， of all her friends， Yui Fay was still the one she felt the closest to. She knew all her fears， dreams， and her wildest stories. She knew that if something happened， Yui Fay would be there for her no matter what. And vice versa. Some friendships just survive the passage of time.

Yet the idea of meeting her was also terrifying. What if ...？ The idea was too hard to put into words. What if the person she was so fond of was no longer？What if this dinner turned out to be nothing more than a meeting between two boring businesswomen？

At that moment， her cellphone rang.

注意：

1. 續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為 150 左右;

2. 請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。

Para1： Jennifer took up her phone and looked at the screen. _____________________________________________________

Para2： Just then， someone was coming towards Jennifer._____________________________________________________

根據(jù)原文故事情節(jié)，結合Tea Meat 框架，構思自己的續(xù)寫框架：

第一段：首句（已給出）。Jennifer took up her phone and looked at the screen.

第一句：Transitional sentence銜接句承上（回應首句的內容）。_________________________________________________

第二句：_________________________________________

第三句：_________________________________________

第四句：_________________________________________

第五句：_________________________________________

第六句：_________________________________________

第七句：Transitional sentence銜接句啟下（結合第二段首句，結束第一段）

____________________________________________________

第二段：首句（已給出）。Just then， someone was coming towards Jennifer.

第一句：Transitional sentence銜接句承上（回應首句的內容）_________________________________________________

第二句：_________________________________________

第三句：_________________________________________

第四句：_________________________________________

第五句：_________________________________________

第六句：_________________________________________

_____________________________________________________（解決問題）

第七句：Theme回歸主題，感情升華_________________

_____________________________________________________

參考范文：

Jennifer took up her phone and looked at the screen.（T）At the sight of the number， she was seized by a strong sense of excitement.（A）“Hello！ Yui Fay？”she answered the phone immediately， her voice trembling. （E）“Yes！ It’s me！ Jennifer.” voice sounded excited too.（C）On the phone， Yui Fay said she had been caught by a traffic jam and asked Jennifer to wait for a while in the restaurant.（A）After the phone， Jennifer put on her red summer dress quickly and hurried to the appointed restaurant. （E）Half an hour later， she got there and sat down at the table， waiting for Yui Fay anxiously and excited.（T）Since she didn’t arrive， Jennifer scanned the menu and thought about what to order.

Just then， someone was coming towards Jennifer.（T）Jennifer looked up.（A）She found it was Yui Fay wearing the exact dress which she wore that night in Barcelona.（E）Both surprised， they laughed and hugged each other tightly.（A）They sat down at the table， having dinner happily and talking of the old times cheerfully.（E）Even though they had not talked for over two years， they still felt close to each other.（E）Again Jennifer felt her life lit up，for Yui Fay was still the person she was fond of.（T）Their meeting turned out to be so wonderful and their friendship survived the passage of time.

責任編輯 蔣小青

2096500783322