李奕群
Azalea
兒子一大早就摘了“我”最喜歡的杜鵑花,丈夫沒有修理漏水的洗衣機,這些都讓“我”很生氣。但是當(dāng)“我”去學(xué)校接兒子放學(xué)的時候,老師卻給“我”講了一個故事……
1 My day began on a sour note when I saw my six?year?old wrestling with my favorite bush. By the time I got outside, hed broken it. “Can I take this to school today?” he asked.
2 With a wave of my hand, I sent him off. I turned my back so he wouldnt see the tears gathering in my eyes. I loved that azalea bush. I touched the broken branch as if to say silently, “Im sorry.”
3 I wished I could have said that to my husband earlier, but Id been angry. The washing machine had leaked on my brand?new carpet. If hed just taken the time to fix it the night before when I asked him instead of playing chess with Jonathan. “What are his priorities(優(yōu)先) anyway?” I wondered. I was still dealing with the mess when Jonathan walked into the kitchen. “Whats for breakfast, Mom?”
4 I opened the empty refrigerator. “Not grain,” I said, watching the sides of his mouth drop. “How about toast and jelly?” I put the toast with jelly and set it in front of him. Why was I so angry? I threw my husbands dishes into the water.
5 It was days like this that made me want to quit. I just wanted to drive up to the mountains, hide in a cave, and never come out. Somehow I managed to carry the wet clothes to the washer. I spent most of the day washing and drying clothes and thinking how love had disappeared from my life. Staring at the painting on the wall, I felt as tired as the clothes left in the washer. As I finished hanging up the last of my husbands shirts, I looked at the clock. It was 2:30 pm. I was late. Jonathans class let out at 2:15 pm. I threw the clothes in the back seat and hurriedly drove to the school. I was out of breath by the time I knocked on the teachers door and looked through the glass. With one finger, she gestured for me to wait for a minute. She said something to Jonathan and handed him two childrens crayons and a sheet of paper. What would she do next? I thought, as she went through the door and took me aside. “I want to talk to you about Jonathan,” she said.
6 I prepared myself for the worst. Nothing would have surprised me because I had adapted to it. “Did you know Jonathan brought flowers to school today?” she asked. I nodded, thinking about my favorite bush and trying to hide the hurt in my eyes. “He might have done something very bad,” I sighed.
閱讀上面的短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫,使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。
注意:
1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語已為你寫好。
Paragraph 1:
“Let me tell you about Jonathan and the little girl,” the teacher said, pointing to a picture on the wall.
Paragraph 2:
I felt my heart swell with pride for what my son had done.
寫作導(dǎo)引
一、語篇研讀
(一)基本要素
[Where at 1. and at school When in the 2. and after school Who my husband, 3., the teacher, the little girl and I What Jonathan picked my azalea bush and wanted to take it to school, which made me very 4.. Why I had been very angry because of my 5. and I loved that azalea bush. ]
(二)主題探索
What is the text about? And what does the author want to tell us?
二、語言學(xué)習(xí)
(一)詞塊
Put the following expressions into Chinese.
[Expressions Chinese meanings 1. turn ones back 2. as if 3. instead of 4. stare at 5. as...as... 6. hang up 7. out of breath 8. hand sb sth 9. prepare sb for 10. adapt to ]
(二)句式
1. 虛擬語氣
I wished I could have said that to my husband earlier, but Id been angry. (Para. 3)
我真希望我能早點對我丈夫說,但我太生氣了。
2. 強調(diào)句
It was days like this that made me want to quit. (Para. 5)
就是一些像這樣的日子讓我想要放棄。
3. 比較狀語從句
Staring at the painting on the wall, I felt as tired as the clothes left in the washer. (Para. 5)
盯著墻上的畫,我覺得就像洗衣機里剩下的衣服一樣累。
4. 時間狀語從句
As I finished hanging up the last of my husbands shirts, I looked at the clock. (Para. 5)
當(dāng)我掛完我丈夫的最后一件襯衫時,我看了看時鐘。
(三)即學(xué)即用
1. 我多么希望昨天晚上能跟你一起去聽音樂會。(使用虛擬語氣)
2. 所有這一切發(fā)生在周一晚上。(使用強調(diào)句)
3. 我希望這條項鏈能和你借給我的那條一樣好。(使用比較狀語從句)
4. 他進來時,她站了起來。(使用時間狀語從句)
三、續(xù)寫技能
在描寫人物時,除了動作描寫之外,添加心理、表情等描寫或者輔以適當(dāng)?shù)沫h(huán)境描寫,可以讓動作更加豐富、形象,對人物的刻畫更加精準(zhǔn)。如:
(一)給動作“加上表情”
Reaching the doorstep, he paused to compose himself, pushed open the door and exclaimed in delight, “Mum, Im home,” with his eyes sparkling with anticipation. 走到門口,他停下來讓自己鎮(zhèn)定,推開門,然后高興地叫道:“媽媽,我回家了?!毖壑虚W爍著期待。
(二)給動作“融入心理”
Torn between the overwhelming yearning for the delicate boots and the melancholy
for my depressing holiday, I came to a halt halfway to the shoe store. 在對精致的靴子的強烈渴望和對令人沮喪的假期之間掙扎,我在去鞋店的中途停了下來。
(三)給動作“添上環(huán)境”
①Anxiously straining my eyes, I scanned the toy store, but he was nowhere to be found. Outside, thunder and lightning continued. Inside, chaotic noise rang in my ears.
Deep anxiety dominating me, I was on the verge of tears and stood rooted in blackness, hopeless and helpless. 我焦急地張大眼睛,掃了一眼玩具店,但卻找不到他。外面還是電閃雷鳴。在里面,混亂的噪音在我的耳邊回響。 深深的焦慮控制著我,我快要哭了,站在黑暗之中,感到絕望和無助。
②Worse still, when the fire died down, the whole wilderness was enveloped in pitch
darkness, with no one in sight. What kept us company was the chill wind that ruthlessly
whipped my face, gradually devouring the last bit of the remaining hope in my heart. 更糟糕的是,當(dāng)火熄滅時,整個荒野被漆黑所籠罩,看不見任何一個人。陪伴我們的是寒風(fēng),它無情地拍打著我的臉,逐漸吞噬著我心中剩下的最后一點希望。
四、續(xù)寫布局
根據(jù)續(xù)寫第一段段首句的內(nèi)容“‘讓我告訴你喬納森和那個小女孩的故事,老師指著墻上的一幅畫說”可知,續(xù)寫第一段應(yīng)該描述故事的具體內(nèi)容。根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段段首句的內(nèi)容“我為兒子所做的事感到自豪”和文章開頭提到的兒子摘杜鵑花帶去學(xué)校,可猜測這個故事講的是“我”的兒子用杜鵑花幫助小女孩的充滿正能量的故事。具體內(nèi)容我們可以根據(jù)以下問題鏈來展開:
1. What happened to the little girl?
2. How did Jonathan help her?
3. What was my reaction after knowing it?
根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段段首句的內(nèi)容“我為兒子所做的事感到自豪”可知,續(xù)寫第二段可以描寫“我”知道事情真相后的改變。具體內(nèi)容我們可以根據(jù)以下問題鏈來展開:
1. What did I say?
2. What did I do for my son and my husband?
3. What lesson did I learn from this experience?