忍者貓

任新超

Sammie was a stinker1. Our middle-agedorange tabby2 loved to play his own brand offeline3 practical jokes on us whenever theopportunity arose. And the opportunity seemed tobe arising more and more every day.

Whether Sammie was jumping from atop thestairs onto my head， grabbing4 my foot fromunderneath the sofa， or jumping on my back whenI bent down， he never failed to shock me. Themost terrifying5 move of all， though， was what myhusband Bill called “The Ninja”. Sammie wouldwait patiently around a corner or behind a pieceof furniture until one of us passed by. Then， hewould fly through the air and land on one of ourthighs， securing6 all four sets of claws into it.

One day， I heard a strange growl7 from ourbasement. Never imagining that it could becoming from our usually silent tabby， I walkeddown the stairs to find him sitting on a windowledge8， eye-to-eye with a neighborhood cat on theother side of the glass. The growling increased asthe other cat taunted Sammie with his presence9，moving this way and that. Yet， when Sammiehissed10 and smacked11 the window with his paw，the other cat ran for his life.

Ninja Cat， proud of his brave efforts， refusedto leave. He pressed against the window， craning12 his neck to the left and the right，searching for any sign of the other cats return. Even an hour later， Sammie stillheld guard at the basement window. Promise of dinner and the shaking of the treatsbag could not entice him back to the first floor. Then， I got an idea.

薩米是個(gè)討厭鬼。只要有機(jī)會，我們的中年橙色虎斑貓就喜歡對我們施展它自己的貓科惡作劇。而這樣的機(jī)會似乎每天都在增加。

無論薩米是從樓梯頂跳到我的頭上，從沙發(fā)下面抓住我的腳，還是在我彎腰時(shí)跳到我背上，它總會讓我大吃一驚。不過，最可怕的舉動(dòng)是我丈夫比爾所說的“忍者”。薩米會耐心地在拐角處或家具后面等待，直到我們中的一個(gè)人經(jīng)過。然后，它會凌空飛起，落到我們的一條大腿上，用四只爪子牢牢攀住。

有一天，我聽到地下室里傳出奇怪的咆哮聲。我從來沒有想到聲音會來自我們平時(shí)沉默的虎斑貓，于是我走下樓梯，發(fā)現(xiàn)它坐在窗臺上，與玻璃另一邊的一只鄰居的貓對視著。當(dāng)那只貓來回移動(dòng)，用它的存在感“嘲弄”薩米時(shí)，咆哮聲越來越大。然而，當(dāng)薩米發(fā)出嘶嘶聲并用爪子拍打窗戶時(shí)，另一只貓?zhí)用恕?/p>

忍者貓以自己的勇敢行為為榮，拒絕離開。它緊貼著窗戶，伸長脖子左看右看，尋找另一只貓回來的跡象。即使一個(gè)小時(shí)后，薩米仍然在地下室的窗戶前站崗。晚餐的承諾和晃動(dòng)零食袋都無法誘使它回到一樓。然后，我有了一個(gè)主意。

In my bedroom， I have a toy lion. Sammie may have had the courage to face offwith a neighborhood cat， but a lion several times his size？ I didnt think so. Fromthere， I made a plan for Sammie to receive his comeuppance13 for all the ninjaattacks we had endured14 through the years.

I said to Bill as he watched the evening news and held up the toy lion，“Imgoing to play a trick on Sammie with this， and I need you to help me.”

With the memory of Sammies most recent ninja attacks still fresh in his mind，Bill responded eagerly，“Count me in. What do you need me to do？”

“Im going to sneak15 outside and move the lion around in front to the basementwindow. I need you to grab your cellphone and go downstairs and record Sammiesreaction on video. That，”I said，“Ive got to see.”

With that， Bill found a place in the basement as I went outside， next to thewindow， with the lion in my arms. Then， all of a sudden， I shook the lion in front ofSammies face. Ha ha！ Id done it！ Id finally given Sammie a dose16 of his ownmedicine. I ran into the house and straight into Bill

“Show me the video！ Show me the video！ ”I exclaimed.

“Youre going to be disappointed，”Bill replied.“I couldnt get very much.”

“I want to see it！ I want to see it！ ”I cried with all the enthusiasm17 of a fiveyear-old being handed a gift at Christmas.

So， Bill played the video.

He was right. There wasnt much to see.

“Play it again，”I instructed. I looked closer. All I could see was a two-secondvideo of a giant， puffed-up tabby tail flashing across the screen. The video may havebeen short， but it was enough. I had beaten Sammie at his own game， and I even hadproof18. Ahhh， sweet victory was mine！

在我的臥室里，我有一只玩具獅子。薩米可能有勇氣與鄰居家的一只貓對峙，但一只比它大幾倍的獅子呢？我不認(rèn)為它有這樣的勇氣。從那之后，我為薩米制定了一個(gè)計(jì)劃，讓它為我們多年來忍受的所有忍者攻擊而受到懲罰。

比爾看晚間新聞時(shí)，我舉起了那只毛絨獅子對他說：“我要用這個(gè)來騙薩米，我需要你的幫助?！?/p>

比爾對薩米最近的忍者襲擊記憶猶新，他迫不及待地回答說：“算我一份。

你需要我做什么？”

“我要偷偷溜到外面，把獅子移到地下室的窗戶前。我需要你拿著手機(jī)下樓，把薩米的反應(yīng)錄下來?！蔽艺f，“我一定要看看?！?/p>

接著，比爾在地下室找了個(gè)位置，同時(shí)，我抱著獅子去外面，到了窗戶旁。

然后，我猛然在薩米面前搖了搖獅子。哈哈！我做到了！我終于給薩米開了一劑猛藥。我跑進(jìn)房子，直奔向比爾。

“給我看錄像！給我看錄像！”我喊道。

“你會失望的?！北葼柣卮鹫f，“我沒拍到太多?！?/p>

“我想看！我想看！”我喊叫起來，帶著圣誕節(jié)時(shí)五歲孩子收到禮物時(shí)的那種熱情。

于是，比爾播放了視頻。

他是對的。沒什么可看的。

“再放一遍?！蔽曳愿赖馈Ｎ易屑?xì)看了看。我所能看到的只是一段兩秒的視頻，視頻中一條巨大的、膨大的虎斑尾巴在屏幕上一晃而過。視頻可能很短，但已經(jīng)足夠了。我以其人之道，還治其人之身，擊敗了薩米，我甚至有證據(jù)。啊，甜蜜的勝利屬于我！