Sometimes people ask me why I farm. I tell them different things. To some I say that, biologically, we are meant to be farmers. “Weve been farming for thousands of years. Why stop now?” I say.
To others (seeing an opportunity to shorten or end the conversation as quickly as possible), I say that I farm because I like good food. “Cant argue with that1,” they say, thankfully.
To a third group of people, usually those most interested in farming, I explain that when I was younger I made a list of jobs I could imagine myself enjoying. I tell them the list included “small-scale organic vegetable farmer” and that I somehow fell into it. I add some esoteric2, overly idiosyncratic3 items to my fictional list of self-actualizing professions in order to make them laugh or to distract them. I say that besides farmer, on my list were rapper, astronaut, lonely graduate student, writer, playwright, lonely history professor, and lonely Civil War reenactor4. I explain this maniacally5, with eyes wide, until whoever asked the question starts talking about himself or loses interest.
To the fourth group—those with whom Im most honest—I shrug and sadly mumble something about not knowing what else to do. “I could probably be a good janitor6, maybe,” I say, almost inaudibly7, “but I dont know what else Id be doing. Im not really good at anything.”
I grew up in somewhat urban New Jersey, about 20 miles outside of Manhattan, and didnt have a lot of interaction with nature. My dad kept a small vegetable garden in my aunts backyard until I was nine or 10 and then he stopped. I remember helping him in the garden a few times and liking it.
I ate a lot of processed food. I liked Toaster Strudels and Pop-Tarts. I liked bread. I put ketchup8 on most things. Most of the time I felt really awful. I wondered why my stomach hurt so much. In high school I went to a digestive specialist, who gave me a cup of high-fructose9 corn syrup to drink. I got sick almost immediately. He told me I had an HFCS allergy10 and “probably irritable11 bowel syndrome or Crohns disease12” or something. It seemed that most of the food I was encouraged to eat was poison to my body. I was frustrated by my stomach and, though I didnt realize it then, by the food system I was trapped in.
Being sick showed me that theres a lot wrong with the way things are set up and maybe, I thought, if we do things differently, theres a chance we could get it right. I discovered subculture13. I learned that there are alternative ways to eat, which, it turns out, is how most people in history have eaten. Sometimes I wished Id been born 100 years earlier.
After college, I left New Jersey to become a farmer. Through WWOOF14 (Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms), I discovered a farm about six hours northwest in the Finger Lakes region of New York. The farm, where I still live and work, is called East Hill Farm. Its a project of the Rochester Folk Art Guild, an intentional community15 of craftspeople and farmers who have lived together in Middlesex, New York, since 1967.
So, I made the odd, difficult transition from a life rooted in urban culture in New Jersey to a rural, agricultural lifestyle in an intentional community. Its a transition that Im still trying to figure out16. Ive learned more practical skills than I ever thought I would: bread baking, logging, vegetable and fruit production, woodworking, operating a tractor, canning and food preservation, beekeeping, raising and slaughtering17 pigs, raising and slaughtering chickens. Ive learned how to live by myself in a one-room, “off-the-grid18” shed through the winter. Ive experienced love and heartbreak and made great friends. Ive been more confused than ever before. Ive discovered that I have much to learn about human interaction and relationships.
Im now on the verge of my third season of farming. Its the best job Ive ever had, though also one of the most puzzling. Sometimes farming feels simple—like the crops grow themselves, and its almost a gift that this work exists for us. Ive thinned beets19 while lying on my side in beautiful June weather and thought, “Farming can be lazy and relaxing, I guess.” Other times, farming seems impossible. It feels like there is so much that has to go right—too much—for it ever to work. But despite my inexperience and lack of knowledge and small stature and self-deprecation, so far Ive somehow made it work.
If you sometimes feel that youre not good at anything, consider becoming a farmer. Youll discover that youre actually good at many things. Youll learn many skills that make you feel fulfilled and proud of yourself and then youll realize that these are all the skills that are being forgotten.
Know, also, that farming is tough. Some days, maybe most days, youll feel overwhelmed20. When your crop of onions is failing and your tomatoes have blight21 and the weed pressure on your winter squash22 is mounting and you cant stand the people you work with (or, worse, the people you work with cant stand you) and your livelihood depends on this food, youll feel overwhelmed and even afraid. But youll also feel a fullness. Your life will feel different from how it would if you were a young person living in a city, working in an office, going to bars and restaurants. Youll know what quiet is and youll be able to go outside at night and see darkness. Your body, at first weak from the winter or the suburbs, will reject your work. Then, after struggling, it will embrace it. Youll eat good food. Eventually, youll ask: “How do I live well?” And we need you to answer that question. We desperately need you to.
人們有時問我為什么種地。對不同的人,我有不同的說法。對有些人我會說,從生物學的角度來說,我們天生就是農(nóng)民?!皫浊陙?,我們一直在種地,為什么現(xiàn)在不呢?”我說。
對另外一些人(當我看到盡快縮短或結(jié)束對話的機會),我說種地是因為我喜歡優(yōu)質(zhì)的食物?!奥犉饋硎莻€好主意?!彼麄冋f。謝天謝地,談話就此打住。
對第三類人——通常是那些對耕種特別感興趣的人,我會說,我小時候曾列過一張清單,上面是我憑想象覺得自己會喜歡做的工作。我告訴他們,清單中有一項就是“小型有機蔬菜農(nóng)場主”,而且說不上為什么,我就愛上了這個。此外,為了博他們一笑或分散他們的注意力,我還在這張?zhí)摌?gòu)的實現(xiàn)自我的職業(yè)清單中加了一些非常小眾和極其怪異的工作。我說,除了做農(nóng)場主外,我還想做說唱歌手、宇航員、孤獨的研究生、作家、編劇、孤獨的歷史學教授、孤獨的內(nèi)戰(zhàn)重演愛好者。一說起這些來,我就激情四溢、神采飛揚,一直說到問問題的人開始談論自己,或者對我所說的失去興趣為止。
對第四類人——也就是那些我最為坦誠相對的人,我會聳聳肩,沮喪地小聲咕噥說我不知道自己還能做什么。“可能我會是個不錯的看門人吧,興許是,”我說,聲音低得幾乎都聽不到,“但我不知道其他我還能做什么。我真的什么都不在行?!?/p>
我在還算以城市為主的新澤西州長大,那兒離曼哈頓大約二十英里,那時的我和大自然沒有太多的接觸。父親曾在姑媽的后院里種了一個小菜園,后來到我九歲或十歲的時候,父親就不再種了。我還記得有幾次在園子里給父親做幫手,而且樂在其中。
我吃過不少加工食品。我愛吃Toaster Strudel點心和Pop-Tarts軟餅。我還愛吃面包。我吃大部分食物都要蘸著番茄醬吃。但大多數(shù)時候,我都覺得很不舒服。我不知道胃為什么會那么疼。上中學時我去看消化科專家,他讓我喝了一杯高果糖的玉米糖漿。我?guī)缀跏且缓认氯ゾ透械綈盒?。他告訴我說我有高果糖玉米糖漿過敏癥,“可能還有過敏性腸炎或克羅恩病”或者其他什么病。這樣看來,我以前受鼓動所吃的大多數(shù)食物對我的身體都有害。我覺得灰心喪氣,不僅是因為胃痛,還因為我深陷其中的食物體系——雖然當時我并沒有意識到這一點。
身體不舒服讓我意識到:我們的生活方式出了大問題。我想也許換一種方式的話,情況可能會有好轉(zhuǎn)。我發(fā)現(xiàn)了一種亞文化,了解到還有其他的飲食方式可以選擇,而事實證明,歷史上的大多數(shù)人一直都是那樣吃東西的。有時,我真希望自己早出生一百年。
大學畢業(yè)后,我離開新澤西,成了一個農(nóng)民。通過世界有機農(nóng)場機會組織,我找到了位于紐約仙指湖區(qū)西北部的一家農(nóng)場,開車過去大概六個小時。我現(xiàn)在仍在這個名為“東山農(nóng)場”的地方生活和勞作。東山農(nóng)場是羅切斯特民間藝術(shù)協(xié)會的一個項目。該協(xié)會是由手工藝人和農(nóng)民組成的一個共益社區(qū),他們自1967年起就共同居住在紐約的米德爾塞克斯鎮(zhèn)。
如此一來,我的生活方式發(fā)生了奇特而艱難的轉(zhuǎn)變,從在新澤西的城市生活轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)樵诠惨嫔鐓^(qū)的鄉(xiāng)村農(nóng)耕生活。我至今仍試圖想弄明白這一轉(zhuǎn)變是怎么完成的。我學會了很多以前自認為學不會的實用技能:烤面包、伐木、種植蔬菜和水果、做木工、開拖拉機、做罐頭、儲藏食品、養(yǎng)蜜蜂、養(yǎng)豬、殺豬、養(yǎng)雞、殺雞。我學會如何獨自在一間沒有任何公共服務設施的小屋中度過冬天。在那里,我體驗到了愛與傷痛,交到了很多好朋友。我比以前更為困惑。我發(fā)現(xiàn)在人際交往和親密關系方面,我還有許多東西要學習。
如今,我的耕種生活馬上要迎來第三個季節(jié)了。這是我所從事過的最棒的工作,雖然也是最令我困惑的工作之一。有時候,種地看起來很簡單,比如莊稼自己會生長,我們能擁有這樣的工作,簡直就是上天的饋贈。在6月宜人的天氣里,我側(cè)躺在地里,一邊給甜菜間苗,一邊心想:“看來當農(nóng)民也可以如此慵懶愜意?!钡硗庖恍r候,種地又成了無比艱難的工作。它給我的感覺是,要想種地成功,好多好多——簡直數(shù)不勝數(shù)——的事都不能出錯。不過,盡管我經(jīng)驗不足,知識匱乏,身材矮小,并且對自己也不夠自信,但我到目前為止還是種地種成功了。
如果你有時感覺自己對什么都不在行,那就考慮做個農(nóng)民吧。你會發(fā)現(xiàn),其實你對很多事都在行。你會學到許多技能,這些技能讓你感到充實、自豪,然后你會意識到這些都是人們正在漸漸遺忘的技能。
不過,你也要明白,種地是個艱苦的差事。有些日子,也許是大多數(shù)日子,你會有一種手足無措的感覺。當你種的洋蔥沒有長出來,當你的西紅柿得了枯萎病,當越來越多的野草爬滿筍瓜地,當你無法忍受和你一起工作的人(或者更糟糕的,他們無法忍受你),當你的生計全要仰賴這些食物時,你就會不知所措,甚至感到害怕。但你也會覺得充實。如果你是一個居住在城市里的年輕人,在辦公室工作,泡酒吧,下餐館,那么這里的生活就與你的生活截然不同。你會明白什么叫安靜,你夜晚出門就能夠感受到黑暗。由于漫長的冬天或者郊區(qū)生活,你的身體起初會有些虛弱,會抗拒工作。而后,通過不斷的努力,你的身體就會欣然接受這里的工作。你會吃到優(yōu)質(zhì)的食物。最終,你會問:“我過得好不好?”我們需要你來回答這個問題。我們非常期待你的回答。
注釋
1. cant argue with that:(相當于It sounds like a good idea)聽起來是個好主意;同意你的說法
2. esoteric adj. 限于少數(shù)人的
3. idiosyncratic adj. 獨特的,怪異的
4. Civil War reenactor:內(nèi)戰(zhàn)重演愛好者,這些人致力于重現(xiàn)某些特定的戰(zhàn)役或相關的歷史事件。
5. maniacally adv. 熱情過度地,興奮過度地
6. janitor n. 看門人
7. inaudibly adv. 聽不見地
8. ketchup n. 番茄醬
9. fructose n. 果糖
10. allergy n. 過敏癥
11. irritable adj. [醫(yī)]過敏性的
12. Crohns disease:克羅恩病,又稱局限性腸炎或節(jié)段性腸炎。
13. subculture:亞文化,又稱小文化、集體文化或副文化,指某一文化群體所屬次級群體的成員共有的獨特信念、價值觀和生活習慣,與主文化相對應的那些非主流的、局部的文化現(xiàn)象。
14. WWOOF:世界有機農(nóng)場機會組織
15. intentional community:共益社區(qū)。
16. figure out:想出,理出,弄清
17. slaughter vt. 屠宰(動物)
18. off-the-grid:離網(wǎng)生活,指全部生活都自給自足,不依賴于市政供水、天然氣、電網(wǎng)、垃圾處理等公務服務設施。
19. beet n. 甜菜,甜菜根
20. overwhelm vt. (感情、影響等)使受不了;使不知所措
21. blight n. 枯萎??;導致枯萎病的細菌
22. winter squash:筍瓜