多棱鏡

MISHMASH

WAY TO A WOMAN’S HEART

It sounds like a dull tale—a full-time housewife in Meizhou, Guangdong Province sued her husband for domestic abuse and applied for a divorce. However, before you lump her in with the millions of domestic abuse victims around the country, it should be noted that the abuse was of a culinary nature. The “domestic abuse” referred to the husband’s terrible cooking skills. It has been claimed that the husband, since 2003, has been in charge of all the housework, including duties in the kitchen. Despite calling herself a housewife, by all accounts one of the most thankless jobs you can have, the wife enjoyed her husband’s services without contributing, and the husband, for whatever reason, suffered under his wife’s yoke of domestic servitude. But, it turns out that his cooking was just too bad for their domestic bliss to continue. She claims that her husband has not made any progress in his culinary skills in the past 12 years and that he may have even been doing it on purpose. The judge, unsurprisingly, remained unconvinced of her logic and refused her petition for divorce. But, one has to wonder why on earth the husband would object to a divorce in the first place. — SUN JIAHUI (孫佳慧)

CASANOVA CON ARTIST

There is a Chinese saying:“stepping on two boats at the same time (腳踏兩只船)”, describing a person in two relationships at the same time. But, when it comes to a conman surnamed Yuan in Changsha, Hunan Province, the old saying needs quite a few more vessels, one might even say a fleet. After getting into a car accident, Yuan was hospitalized in Changsha, but over the course of the next few days, 17 women between the ages of 20 to 40, showed up to visit him, each claiming to be his girlfriend. After meeting each other and talking about their various relationships with their mutual lover, these women were understandably angry and reported him to the police on fraud charges. The police were then stunned to learn that there was more to this cheating playboy than met the eye. Yuan, holding just a middle school diploma, had fabricated an education background as a university graduate majoring in civil engineering in Central South University, a top university in China, and worked for a large company. In the field of romance, Yuan had an even more shocking surprise: he divorced his ex-wife after cheating her out of 250,000 RMB, and it was discovered that he had swindled the 17 girlfriends out of thousands of RMB, some of whom had been with him for more than ten years. A closer look at his WeChat account revealed another 200 female targets he had in his crosshairs. If we are to take that Chinese saying literally, he is less of a man “stepping on two boats” and more a “centipede with a navy”. — S.J.

PANDA PEDESTRIAN

Chinese pedestrians, let’s face it, have a pretty reprehensible reputation when it comes to crossing the street (and Chinese drivers don’t behave that well either). But, in an elephantine morality tale for all Chinese pedestrians, a young panda, a symbol of the nation, set a good example for all. In Yingxiu, Sichuan Province, a panda was caught on CCTV footage in the wee hours of the morning in March, wandering along the sidewalk next to the gate of a scenic area, stepping back after failing to open the door. Then, performing a trick that most seem incapable of, the panda crossed a T-junction, properly using thecrosswalk. The panda’s entire ordeal strictly followed the code of the road, and when staff from the scenic panda area reviewed the footage, they informed the local government immediately, as well as the Wolong National Natural Reserve, China’s largest and best-known panda reserve. Five experts and many policemen and residents then began to search for this Chinese national treasure, but no avail. According to the experts, this panda was approximately two years old, meaning it was in adolescence. Judging by its age, this cutie might have been trying to carve out its own territory. No one is quite sure where this hero of the zebra crossing has gone, but he’s a good example for pedestrians everywhere. — S.J.

THE HOT COP

A traffic cop surnamed Long was supposed to maintain order at the Chongqing Marathon this spring, but he ended up causing quite a bit of traffic trouble. Long’s supervisor might have never sent him to the event had he known that the sheer force of his handsomeness would incur traffic jams, with people running after him hoping to get a photo. It has been said that Long’s face is similar to that of star Wallace Chung (鐘漢良), whose TV romance My Sunshine (《何以笙簫默》) had become a recent hit. When Long showed up that day, an uproar burst from the crowd. Many female “fans” approached him asking to take pictures with him. Long, ever kind to his public, was too nice to refuse such requests; that’s when things got out of control. People swarmed to the unknown lookalike and the normal flow of traffic was entirely marred. With the damage done, Long had to be escorted from the scene by colleagues. His picture went viral online and some have said that, if they see Long on the street, they’d happily break the traffic laws just to be given a ticket by him. Even the Chongqing Morning Post got in on the action, introducing him on their Weibo. But the post crushed the hopes of the swooning masses when it was reported that, sadly, this handsome cop is happily married.— S.J.

ORANGE BROTHERS FOR LIFE

There are many ways to make friends. Some bond with classmates or colleagues, others forge a link over shared interests. Then there are the people who lose their phone and fi nd a new friend halfway around the world via their photo stream. When American Matt Stopera in early 2015 started seeing pictures of a Chinese man and an orange tree on his iPhone photo stream, he treated it as a joke. Apparently, his phone had been stolen a year earlier and sold via intermediaries to a man in Meizhou, Guangdong Province, who would forever become known as “Orange Brother” (橘子哥). The Buzzfeed employee posted an article about it, but then was startled to discover it trending on Weibo. Chinese netizens hunted down Orange Brother and the two were put in touch. A celebrity whirlwind tour of China later and the popularity of the unlikely duo continued to skyrocket, reaching millions. Stopera’s follow-up articles were punctuated by constant expressions of amazement and disbelief in the bizarre nature of this tale. Now, a documentary is in the works, and Orange Brother is already making the day-time talk show rounds in the US. — DAVID DAWSON