I think walk①to school is good for us.At first,walking to school is a good way to exercise and it’s good to②health.Next,it’s fun to walk together with friends every day.We can talk about interesting something③and know each other better.What’s more,if we go to school on foot,our parents won’t have to drive us to school.They will have more time to work and relax.More walking and less driving can help make our city much clean④.The streets will be less crowded than before.So I hope more and more students will go to school on foot.
Let’s go to school on foot from now on.
安徽省濉溪縣四鋪中心學(xué)校七(3)班 胡月琪
本文觀點(diǎn)明確,信息全面,立場(chǎng)鮮明。對(duì)“步行去上學(xué)”的優(yōu)點(diǎn)進(jìn)行了詳細(xì)的闡述,最后提出自己的希望。本文使用了at first,next,what’s more等使得文章層次分明,結(jié)構(gòu)清晰。而if引導(dǎo)的條件狀語(yǔ)從句,使文章句式豐富,富有多樣化。另外,短語(yǔ)的使用體現(xiàn)了作者不凡的語(yǔ)言功底。
①walk改為walking。動(dòng)詞不能做主語(yǔ),但是動(dòng)名詞可以做主語(yǔ),故walk改為walking;
② to改為for。be good to意為“對(duì)某人好”,故此處應(yīng)用be good for;
③ interesting something改為 something interesting。當(dāng)形容詞修飾 something,anything,nothing,everything等不定代詞時(shí),形容詞必須放在不定代詞的后面;
④clean改為cleaner。much修飾形容詞或副詞的比較級(jí),故此處應(yīng)將clean改為cleaner。
按中考英語(yǔ)作文滿分20分的標(biāo)準(zhǔn),本文修改前可得18分。