龔磊 陳慈明
請(qǐng)同學(xué)們先看一篇作文:
(2016屆高三湖北省八校聯(lián)考)高考臨近,學(xué)習(xí)時(shí)間變緊,任務(wù)加重,很多同學(xué)內(nèi)心壓力大,學(xué)習(xí)效率低下。請(qǐng)為即將舉行的班會(huì)寫一篇英語演講稿,談?wù)勀銓?duì)怎樣保持良好的精神狀態(tài),高效而健康地進(jìn)行復(fù)習(xí)備考的看法。要點(diǎn)如下:
1. 堅(jiān)持鍛煉;2. 合理計(jì)劃;3. 注重飲食。
注意:1. 詞數(shù)100左右;2.不可逐句翻譯;3.可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié),以使行文連貫;4.開頭語已為你寫好。
Dear classmates.
Good afternoon!
Today is December 8th. The entrance exams are really around the corner now. With time pressing_ and study load piling up, many of us are suffering unbearable psychological stress, working with low efficiency. Consequently, today Id like to share with you how to tackle the awkward situation.
Foremost, to keep up good spirits and prepare for the big day efficiently and healthily, you are advised to do regular workout, building up your bodies. Certainly, keeping a balanced diet, you are bound to feel energetic and dynamic, which serves the most essential functions. Only when sweating all over can you experience the relaxation both in body and mind. Additionally, never hesitate to make an organized and proper schedule, contributing much to the accomplishment of your academic assignments.
Thats all for my speech, and I do hope these tips will pull you through.
點(diǎn)評(píng) 本文被評(píng)為優(yōu)秀作文。該片習(xí)作當(dāng)中,除了使用不少高級(jí)詞匯,如unbearable,efficiency,tackle,awkward,feel energetic and dynamic,essential accomplishment,academic assignments等之外,還使用了諸如倒裝句Only when sweating all over can you experience the relaxation both in body and mind”;從句“you are bound to feel energetic and dynamic, which serves the most essential functions.等用法,使得文章條理清晰,句式多樣。而最大的特點(diǎn)便是恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂梅衷~結(jié)構(gòu),是文章結(jié)構(gòu)大為簡化,行文緊湊,很好地體現(xiàn)出了作者的語法功底。
在我們寫作當(dāng)中,有這樣一條順口溜:肯定沒有雙否好;陳述不如倒裝妙;主動(dòng)不如被動(dòng)巧;分詞結(jié)構(gòu)不能少。分詞結(jié)構(gòu),不管是現(xiàn)在分詞還是過去分詞,在作文當(dāng)中如恰當(dāng)使用,可以使文章更為簡潔明了,言簡意賅。筆者認(rèn)為,分詞結(jié)構(gòu)在書面表達(dá)中有如下幾種作用:
[替代狀語從句]
例1 (2015北京卷)Finally, we put the figurines we made on the table and took pictures with the old craftsman. When we looked at the figurines, we were all very excited.
解析 Finally, we put the figurines we made on the table and took pictures with the old craftsman. Looking at the figurines, we were all very excited.
例2 (2015廣東卷)When she was confronted with the misbehavior of her new class, Sally emphasized the idea of“We are family” and afterwards worked out 10 rules to regulate the students conduct.
解析 Confronted with the misbehavior of her new class, Sally emphasized the idea of “We are family” and afterwards worked out 10 rules to regulate the students conduct.
例3 (2013北京卷) After he got my promise of being great at home and taking care of my mother, he rest assured and put his luggage into the trunk of his car.
解析 Having got my promise of being great at home and taking care of my mother, he rest assured and put his luggage into the trunk of his car.
此外,“獨(dú)立主格”做狀語具有很強(qiáng)的描繪功能,成功運(yùn)用可以增強(qiáng)文章的趣味性和生動(dòng)性。例如:
例4 (2014江蘇卷) (英語單詞變得普遍)in both media and daily life, a Chinese dictionary has included 239 of them, leaving the public divided into two opposing groups: “For” and “Against”. (get)
解析 English words getting popular in both media and daily life, a Chinese dictionary has included 239 of them, leaving the public divided into two opposing groups: “For” and “Against”.
例5 (2013遼寧卷) (美麗的月亮掛在) in the sky, we sit together and eat moon cakes and fruit, sharing our stories. (hang)
解析 With the beautiful moon hanging up in the sky, we sit together and eat moon cakes and fruit, sharing our stories.
例6 (2014北京卷) But now, because my left foot was injured, I cannot go with you as it was planned.
解析 But now, because my left foot was injured, I cannot go with you as planned.
[替代定語從句]
例7 (2014重慶卷) The best gift that has reached me is a book from my English teacher, Debbie, which she brought to me when she returned from her holiday in USA.
解析 The best gift reaching me is a book from my English teacher, Debbie, which she brought to me when she returned from her holiday in USA.
例8 (2014江蘇卷) In English, there are many words which were borrowed from Latin, French, or even Chinese.
解析 In English, there are many words borrowed from Latin, French, or even Chinese.
例9 (2015福建卷) The boy, who was poor, couldnt afford even a candle, so he bored a hole in the wall to “steal” light from his neighbors house to read at night.
解析 The boy, being poor, couldnt afford even a candle, so he bored a hole in the wall to “steal” light from his neighbors house to read at night.
[替代名詞性從句]
例10 (2013浙江卷) The first day I went to high school, I saw (that) some of my classmates were playing table tennis.
解析 The first day I went to high school, I saw some of my classmates playing table tennis.
例11 (2014湖北卷) As a member of the society, that we should be responsible is what it takes to make a better society.
解析 As a member of the society, being responsible is what it takes to make a better society.
[替代并列復(fù)合句]
例12 (2013福建卷) The son, well dressed, waves proudly in the middle while the father ... and the mother in front rolls out the carpet and she was sweating.
解析 The son, well dressed, waves proudly in the middle while the father ... and the mother in front rolls out the carpet, sweating.
例13 (2014遼寧卷) Along with your wonderful innovation, you need to hand in a report, and you need to explain how ...
解析 Along with your wonderful innovation, you need to hand in a report, explaining how ...
例14 (2015湖南卷) What a surprised expression was on my maths teachers face! He felt so happy that he praised me in public, and said that I was an intelligent student.
解析 What a surprised expression was on my maths teachers face! He felt so happy that he praised me in public, saying that I was an intelligent student.
此外,我們還可以使用含有分詞的“獨(dú)立結(jié)構(gòu)”,在作文中起到調(diào)節(jié)句子長度,使篇章錯(cuò)落有致的作用。常用的獨(dú)立結(jié)構(gòu)有:
compared to/with ... 與……相比
based on what I know/see 據(jù)我所知/在我看來
judging from/by... 根據(jù)……來判斷
seeing from the above 從以上情況來看
considering... 考慮到……
given his age/experience ... 鑒于他的年齡/經(jīng)驗(yàn)……
generally/briefly/simply speaking... 一般說來/簡而言之……
例15 (2014湖北卷) (跟……相比) the escaped driver, I am proud of what I did.
解析 Compared to/with the escaped driver, I am proud of what I did.
例16 (2013北京卷) (基于) the above statement, a conclusion will be arrived at that learning to accept the reality and adopting a positive attitude towards the dream is what we are supposed to do, when confronting our less-satisfying situation.
解析 Based on the above statement, a conclusion will be arrived at that learning to accept the reality and adopting a positive attitude towards the dream is what we are supposed to do, when confronting our less-satisfying situation.