備考托福獨(dú)立寫作時(shí),很多考生由于輕信網(wǎng)絡(luò)上的傳言,陷入了很多誤區(qū),走了很多彎路。本文筆者將從詞、句、篇三個(gè)方面來幫助考生清除托福獨(dú)立寫作的常見誤區(qū),以便更好地應(yīng)對(duì)托福獨(dú)立寫作考試。
誤區(qū)一:用詞一定要很高級(jí)、很復(fù)雜
作為一種語言測(cè)試,托??荚嚨闹攸c(diǎn)是檢測(cè)考生的英語語言水平。因此,能夠?qū)懗稣_、流暢的語言是考生獲得托福寫作單項(xiàng)高分的必備條件。在《新托??荚嚬俜街改稀返谒陌妫ㄒ韵潞?jiǎn)稱OG)中,對(duì)于托福獨(dú)立寫作語言運(yùn)用方面的要求是這樣的:“Language use is the third criterion on which your essay will be judged. To get a top score, an essay must display ‘consistent facility in the use of language. There should be a variety of sentence structures, and word choice should be appropriate.”可以看出,托福獨(dú)立寫作對(duì)于考生寫作的總體要求是consistent facility in the use of language (語言運(yùn)用和諧流暢),給出的具體建議是a variety of sentence structures (句子結(jié)構(gòu)多樣)和word choice should be appropriate (措辭應(yīng)貼切得體)。那么怎樣的措辭才算貼切得體呢?是一定要用很高級(jí)、很復(fù)雜的詞才行嗎?
我們先來看OG第336頁給出的一篇滿分作文的第二段和第三段:
Most young adults prefer to have a separate or independent life from their parents or families as soon as possible. This is because they have a strong urge for freedom in doing what they desire. But in fact many of them fail. This should not be surprising since often they are actually not ready mentally although they are physically ready. It is widely understood that to live independently requires a lot of energy and is not easy at all. In this twenty first century, people may need more and more preparation because competition is increasing rapidly. An observation shows that many University graduated students are unemployed. Therefore, they will not be able to support and fulfill their necessities.
So living independently at an early age is not suitable for all young adults, some young adults may need to take more time to prepare themselves before going out to struggle. Young adults need to be ready to support themselves. Taking time to get more education and living with their families for a longer time may lead them to a better independent life because they will be well prepared for the hard-life outside. Still, living with their families for too long will not be a good idea because they could get used to it and tend to be less independent.
對(duì)于這篇作文,閱卷者(human rater)是這樣評(píng)價(jià)的:“This well developed essay meets all the criteria for earning a score of 5. The writer develops the topic through a detailed discussion of independence and of the suitability of living independently. The essay is unified and coherent. Sentence structure is varied, especially in paragraphs 2 and 3. The writer does not use high-level vocabulary, but word choice is correct throughout. There are minor errors (“University graduated students,” “fulfill their necessities”), but these in no way interrupt the flow or meaning of the essay.”
我們?cè)賮砜疵绹逃荚嚪?wù)中心(ETS)給出的官方研究結(jié)果(如下表所示):
為便于研究,ETS的研究人員將托福獨(dú)立寫作總分按4分計(jì)算(實(shí)際總分為5分)。從上表中數(shù)據(jù)可以看出,高分作文和低分作文在最常用詞匯(GSL)和學(xué)術(shù)詞匯(AWL)的用詞占比并沒有相差多少。當(dāng)然,高分作文的學(xué)術(shù)詞匯占比會(huì)相對(duì)高一點(diǎn),但也并非全文使用高級(jí)、復(fù)雜的學(xué)術(shù)詞匯。由此可見,并不是用詞越高級(jí)、越復(fù)雜,才能在托福獨(dú)立寫作中得高分。
那么,考生在托福獨(dú)立寫作中到底該如何用詞呢?首先,考生要了解常用的英文詞匯分幾類。根據(jù)不同的語體風(fēng)格,常用詞匯可分成三類:正式的(formal)、一般的(common)、非正式的(informal)。正式的詞也可稱作學(xué)術(shù)性的詞、文雅的詞或“大”詞,這類詞往往有三個(gè)以上的音節(jié),如下面這段話中加粗的詞匯:“There is nothing new in the recognition, within a given language, of a distinction between common usage and uses of the language for more restricted purposes and often enough, perhaps characteristically, more elevated purposes.”但這段話中的大多數(shù)詞都是十分常用并在多種文體中出現(xiàn)的,這些詞被稱為一般詞匯。這兩類詞都可用于書面寫作中。還有一類詞主要用于非正式的、不講究客套的談話中,很少出現(xiàn)在正式的文章里,如guts (膽量)、guy (男人)、hassle (麻煩)等,這類詞一般都很短,只有一、兩個(gè)音節(jié),被稱為非正式詞匯。此外,俚語也是很不正式的表達(dá),如kick the bucket (去世)等,在書面寫作中也應(yīng)該避免。
對(duì)于OG中要求的“措辭貼切得體”,如何才能做到呢?對(duì)此,大多數(shù)考生都有一個(gè)誤解,以為必須大量使用托福甚至GRE詞匯表中的高級(jí)難詞和復(fù)雜詞。當(dāng)然,考生如果能正確使用這些詞匯固然好,但對(duì)于大多數(shù)考生來說,很多人僅僅是認(rèn)識(shí)這些詞匯,但對(duì)于其搭配及感情色彩并不是很清楚。其實(shí),在托福獨(dú)立寫作的評(píng)卷中,閱卷者一方面會(huì)考慮考生所使用的詞匯的長度和復(fù)雜度(word length and sophistication of word choice),另一方面會(huì)將考生所使用的詞匯表達(dá)與語料庫中不同等級(jí)的文章進(jìn)行比較(score assigned to essays with similar vocabulary, similarity to essays receiving highest score),從而大致判定考生的文字語言水平。因此,考生在平時(shí)備考期間應(yīng)多去積累高分范文中的詞匯表達(dá),這對(duì)于提升考生自己的語言水平有很大的幫助。實(shí)際上,考生如果能正確、熟練、恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂么髮W(xué)英語四級(jí)水平的詞匯,就已經(jīng)能在寫作中很好地表達(dá)自己的意思了。比如,如果要表達(dá)“生活中有很多這樣的例子”,大多數(shù)考生的第一反應(yīng)是:“There are many similar examples in our daily life.”這句話在表達(dá)上沒有錯(cuò)誤,但考生如果能用四級(jí)常用詞匯abound對(duì)其進(jìn)行改寫,就能使表達(dá)更加正式、地道,如:“Life abounds with such examples.”
誤區(qū)二:句子越長越好
筆者在給一些已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備過一段時(shí)間托福寫作的考生上課時(shí)發(fā)現(xiàn),他們經(jīng)常在寫作中大量使用很長、很長的長句。當(dāng)筆者建議他們把一些句子斷開時(shí),他們就會(huì)振振有詞地說:“XX說過,托福寫作句子越長越容易得高分!”這種說法倒也有其“合理”之處。目前托福寫作是電子閱卷和人工閱卷(二者審核角度基本相符)共同參與評(píng)分,最終取加權(quán)平均值。由于電子評(píng)分系統(tǒng)(e-rater)讀不懂考生的文章內(nèi)容,所以在針對(duì)Development (展開論點(diǎn))這一維度進(jìn)行評(píng)價(jià)時(shí),會(huì)通過話語元素的長度(the length of discourse elements)進(jìn)行衡量,其中,句子的平均長度便是參考標(biāo)準(zhǔn)之一。也就是說,在e-rater眼中,如果一位考生句子寫得太短,那就說明該考生沒能表達(dá)出什么內(nèi)容,因此也就沒有展開論點(diǎn)。所以在閱卷中,無論是human rater還是e-rater都不希望看到考生寫出大量太短的句子。
那么這是否說明句子寫得越長越好呢?當(dāng)然不是。各位考生可能都有過這樣的體驗(yàn):朋友圈里某人發(fā)了一段不加標(biāo)點(diǎn)的文字,讀完簡(jiǎn)直累死寶寶了。其實(shí)寫作也一樣,即使句子中間有逗號(hào),但是太長的句子仍會(huì)影響讀者的理解,這也是為什么句子長度是文章可讀性的其中一個(gè)指標(biāo)。根據(jù)OG第608頁關(guān)于Too Many Long Sentences的說明,官方建議的平均句子長度是15~20詞左右(the average sentence length should be between 15 and 20 words),這樣更便于讀者理解(this length allows your reader to absorb your ideas more easily)。
另外,需要考生注意的是,有時(shí)句子寫得過長反而會(huì)影響意思的表達(dá),尤其是為了寫長句而寫長句。一起來看OG第608頁給出的例句。
a. Benjamin Franklin, who was one of Americas “founding fathers,” helped write the Declaration of Independence. He also invented many things such as bifocals and the Franklin stove, and he discovered electricity, which became important to modern life.
b. Benjamin Franklin, who was one of Americas “founding fathers,” helped write the Declaration of Independence. He also invented many things such as bifocals and the Franklin stove, and he discovered electricity. Think about that discovery. Where would we be without electricity?
考生通過對(duì)比上述例句可以看出,a句使用了一連串長句,比較繁冗,可讀性不強(qiáng),導(dǎo)致句意不夠清晰。而b句將長短句結(jié)合起來,使得表達(dá)更為簡(jiǎn)明,句意清晰,句子也更富于節(jié)奏感。由此可見,在寫作時(shí),考生可以用不同長度的句子來表達(dá)不同的意思,同時(shí)注意長短句結(jié)合使用(mix long sentences with short ones)。正如OG中寫道的:“A good combination of long and short sentences makes writing lively.”
誤區(qū)三:字?jǐn)?shù)越多,得分越高
筆者接觸托福的第一天,就被“前輩”告知:托福獨(dú)立寫作字?jǐn)?shù)越多,越容易得高分。直至今日,當(dāng)筆者在教學(xué)中糾正考生開頭段的廢話時(shí),考生還會(huì)大喊:“這樣字?jǐn)?shù)不就減少了嗎?我還怎么得高分?”那么,托福獨(dú)立寫作的分?jǐn)?shù)真的與字?jǐn)?shù)直接相關(guān)嗎?
從電子閱卷的角度來看,發(fā)展段的句子數(shù)量確實(shí)是評(píng)價(jià)的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)之一,因?yàn)榭忌绻麤]有展開論點(diǎn),沒寫出什么內(nèi)容,自然不會(huì)有太多的句子進(jìn)行支撐,文章的字?jǐn)?shù)也就不會(huì)多,分?jǐn)?shù)也不會(huì)高。但這是不是意味著字?jǐn)?shù)多,得分就一定會(huì)高呢?
對(duì)此,ETS也做過相關(guān)研究,其中一篇研究論文表明,高分作文的字?jǐn)?shù)往往在400詞左右,而非傳說中的600詞。而且,即使文章字?jǐn)?shù)增多,分?jǐn)?shù)也并不會(huì)上升。另一份研究報(bào)告表明,托福獨(dú)立寫作滿分作文的平均字?jǐn)?shù)只有385.3個(gè)詞,而低分檔的文章中也有超過500詞的。由此可見,托福獨(dú)立寫作并非字?jǐn)?shù)越多,得分越高。
總的來說,在托福獨(dú)立寫作中,除了文章結(jié)構(gòu)(這一點(diǎn)大多數(shù)考生只要接受過正規(guī)培訓(xùn)基本都沒問題)和語言的正確使用之外,文章的具體內(nèi)容往往決定著考生的分?jǐn)?shù)。一篇內(nèi)容充實(shí)的文章往往能夠得高分,同時(shí),內(nèi)容充實(shí)的文章字?jǐn)?shù)一般也不會(huì)太少。因此,考生不必過于糾結(jié)字?jǐn)?shù)的問題,只要有扎實(shí)的英語基本功,認(rèn)真?zhèn)淇迹瑢懽鲿r(shí)做到言之有物,自然就能得到一個(gè)不錯(cuò)的分?jǐn)?shù)。
作者簡(jiǎn)介:李盛,新東方教育科技集團(tuán)優(yōu)秀教師,國外項(xiàng)目教學(xué)培訓(xùn)師,美國ETS普林斯頓總部訪問學(xué)者,哥倫比亞大學(xué)Teachers College訪問學(xué)者,合肥新東方北美教學(xué)教研經(jīng)理,主授托福、SAT、GRE等課程。