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      篇章模式視角下的高中英語概要寫作探究(三)

      2019-01-08 03:16:08吳俊峰
      作文新天地(高中版) 2019年11期
      關(guān)鍵詞:原句主旨語篇

      吳俊峰

      2018年11月浙江省迎來新高考政策推行后的首次高考概要寫作。在能力考查上,概要寫作是一種“閱讀+寫作”,或稱為“輸入+輸出”的復(fù)合型寫作任務(wù),是有效并真實測試考生語言綜合運用能力的項目,因此對中學(xué)生的閱讀理解能力、概括歸納能力和書面表達能力等均提出了很高的要求:其一,考生需要通過閱讀,準確把握不同體裁文章的主旨大意,這考查了閱讀者通過快速閱讀獲取信息的能力;其二,考生需把握好文章內(nèi)部的邏輯關(guān)系,區(qū)分主要觀點和用以支撐觀點的細節(jié)信息,這考核了閱讀者對所獲信息進行整理、加工與概括的能力;其三,考生需用自己的語言,精準、連貫地寫出文章的主旨大意,要求結(jié)構(gòu)完整合理、語言表達規(guī)范,這考量了寫作者的輸出能力和書面表達能力。

      本文延續(xù)上期的“先破后立模式”,通過講練結(jié)合的形式談?wù)劯乓獙懽魉姆N常見篇章模式中的“問題解決模式”及其五個科學(xué)步驟。

      一 問題解決模式

      主要特點:宏觀結(jié)構(gòu)一般由情景(situation)、問題(problem)、反應(yīng)(response)、評價(evaluation)或結(jié)果(result)四個部分組成。

      基本結(jié)構(gòu):1.展示問題現(xiàn)狀及其嚴重性;2.分析其產(chǎn)生的原因;3.提出怎樣解決(多種方案 /不同解決方案的優(yōu)缺點)。

      常用句式:1. ... should never be underestimated. 絕不能低估……

      2. unshakable duty? ? ? ? ?不可推卸的義務(wù)

      3. make joint efforts? ? ? ? 做出共同努力

      4. reach an absolute consensus on...? ?就……達到絕對的一致

      5. ... should never be sacrificed to make way for...

      不應(yīng)當(dāng)犧牲……來實現(xiàn)……

      6.Mastering the approaches to...is of vital significance.

      掌握……的方法具有重要的意義。

      7.We cant emphasize the importance of...too much/enough.

      我們再強調(diào)……也不為過。

      8.It takes the endeavor of both... and... to do...

      需要……和……的努力來……

      9.It is a win-win strategy that benefits both... and...

      這是雙贏的策略,對……和……都有利。

      10.Weighing the pros and cons, its better to... instead of...

      權(quán)衡利弊,最適宜的方法應(yīng)當(dāng)是……而不是……

      11.Recently the problem/ phenomenon has been brought into focus.

      最近,該問題/現(xiàn)象已經(jīng)得到了關(guān)注。

      12. Despite the concern that..., we are convinced that...

      盡管存在……的擔(dān)憂,但我們相信……

      13. In view of the actual situation, we adopt some indispensable measures and find out a suitable method.

      針對實際情況,我們采取了一些必要的措施,找到了適合的方法。

      二 寫作步驟

      1.瀏覽全文,抓住短文大意,分析體裁特點

      材料是說明文,分為四個段落。第一段是分析本篇文章的難點,首句提出問題“因為網(wǎng)上信息大同小異,所以申請大學(xué)之前要參觀校園”,尾句呼應(yīng)首句“(因為參觀校園)做出大量調(diào)查研究,(在申請大學(xué)之前)你可以做出正確的選擇”,其中“do all the research”與首句中的“visit colleges”構(gòu)成因果關(guān)系,“making the right decision”與首句中的“before you apply to colleges” 構(gòu)成條件關(guān)系。從而,第一段形成一條完整的信息鏈“before you apply to colleges→visit colleges→do all the research→make the right decision”,既導(dǎo)出全文的主題句(Topic sentence),提出問題“申請大學(xué)之前,應(yīng)如何調(diào)查研究從而做出正確決策”,又推出支撐信息的支持句(Supporting sentences)“要親自參觀才有切身感受”。

      接下來的三段要關(guān)注語篇信息的邏輯結(jié)構(gòu),三個if條件句表明選擇關(guān)系:第二段說如果附近有大學(xué),必須就近參觀;第三段說如果時間不允許,在申請之后和接到通知書之前這個時間段去參觀;第四段說如果時間、金錢都不允許,就通過專業(yè)網(wǎng)站咨詢查看。文章層層深入,脈絡(luò)清晰,針對不同情況和條件,作者給予讀者不同的解決策略或具體方法。

      把握了篇章類型與模式,我們就能較快鎖定文章主旨,理清文章脈絡(luò),確定需要納入概要寫作的主要信息。

      2.再次快讀,明確段落主旨,畫出思維導(dǎo)圖

      思維導(dǎo)圖作為一種可視化的思維工具,可直觀反映篇章的組織形式,在有限的時間里加速閱讀材料理解,處理文本要點,搭建寫作支架,提升寫作效率。材料結(jié)構(gòu)為“總→分”形式,思維導(dǎo)圖如下:

      3.最后細讀,定位概寫要點,劃出關(guān)鍵詞句

      各段的要點分析如下(下劃雙線的句子為主題句,下劃單線的句子為次要點,加邊框的詞為表示總起、轉(zhuǎn)折、過渡、總結(jié)等功能的連接性詞匯和過渡性詞匯):

      材料有兩條文脈線索:一條明線,用三個if條件句實現(xiàn)邏輯條件的判斷,達到解決問題的目的;一條暗線是各段的語氣和情感態(tài)度的變化,也是考生必須關(guān)注的,表明了段際之間的關(guān)系和四個要點的重要性。第一段“Nothing will give you the sense...”是上上策,第二段“Theres no excuse not to visit...” 是上策,第三段“at the very least you should...”是中策,第四段“While visiting an online college fair...”是下策。

      4.轉(zhuǎn)換表達,整合要點成句,初步連句成篇

      要點1:根據(jù)上文分析,材料主旨句為“申請大學(xué)之前,如何調(diào)查研究做出正確決策”。

      文本原句:keep in mind that you are making decision about the next four years of your life, and do all the research you can to make sure you are making the right one.

      高分表達①→ Applying to colleges is a crucial decision in your life. (近義詞替換)

      高分表達②→Since colleges websites are unable to provide unique information, doing research is the key point to make proper decision of your ideal college before applying. (調(diào)整詞類,句子重構(gòu))

      高分表達③→Its essential for senior students to do research to make wise selection of the colleges they will apply for. (特殊句式it做形式主語和正常語序句式的轉(zhuǎn)化)

      高分表達④→The senior students face a critical crossroad upon the college they will attend, which is bound to influence the next four years. (同義替換)

      【技巧點撥】? 英語語篇通常屬于演繹型的直線型思維模式,這種思維模式對語篇的影響直接體現(xiàn)在段落結(jié)構(gòu)和篇章結(jié)構(gòu)上。常見的語篇形式圖式是:主題段/句→支持段/句→結(jié)論段/句。

      概要寫作表現(xiàn)為將語篇濃縮成一個段落,通常由三個部分組成:主題句(Topic sentence)+支持句(Supporting sentences)+結(jié)論句(Concluding sentence),各句與語篇文本中的各段落相對應(yīng),建立英語思維模式與篇章段落形式圖式的關(guān)系。

      在概要寫作時,我們一定要強化主題句和結(jié)論句的提煉和呈現(xiàn),讓寫作更有層次感,也能保證在寫作時思想明確,中心突出,觀點統(tǒng)領(lǐng)材料,材料服務(wù)觀點,言之有理,言之有據(jù),結(jié)構(gòu)連貫,渾然一體。

      要點2:此要點按因果關(guān)系展開,“因為網(wǎng)上信息難以甄別,所以務(wù)必親自參觀,結(jié)果會有親身體驗”,對“親自參觀校園”既說明了理由,又表明了結(jié)果。具有因果關(guān)系的句子若要確定要點,需根據(jù)文章作者的寫作意圖,分清主次信息。為了簡明扼要,突出重點“親自參觀校園的確是好主意”,此處可省略理由“because their websites can all start to look and sound the same”。

      文本原句:Its a really good idea to visit colleges before you apply because their websites can all start to look and sound the same. Nothing will give you the sense of what it will actually be like to live on a college campus like visiting and seeing for yourself.

      高分表達①→Visiting colleges before applying is of great necessity, which can get you immersed in authentic campus life. (長句壓縮)

      高分表達②→Visits to colleges before application, though consuming time and money, deserve consideration for fruitful school life, since in-person experience helps us make a proper decision for university. (合并結(jié)構(gòu)相似的信息)

      高分表達③→Visiting colleges before application is perceived as the best idea as it will bring you authentic experience. (主動與被動適時轉(zhuǎn)換)

      高分表達④→Visiting colleges in advance is highly recommended which enriches your sufficient sense and ensures a satisfying four-year college life. (次要點作定語從句,補充信息,使要點更為完整、豐滿和連貫)

      要點3:此要點按解釋關(guān)系展開,即一個句子說明一種情況,其他句子對這種情況進行解釋、說明。在這種關(guān)系中,被解釋的句子“Theres no excuse not to visit the schools in your local area”應(yīng)視為主要點。

      文本原句:Theres no excuse not to visit the schools in your local area. …and obviously, if you live across the country that wont be as much of a possibility, but if you live nearby, go check it out!

      高分表達①→Dont hesitate to make a visit if the college is near where you live. (正話反說或反話正說)

      高分表達②→It is necessary to visit your local area school. (多用概括性詞語,少用具體的描述性詞語)

      高分表達③→If there are colleges which arent remote to you, dont miss the visit. (正話反說或反話正說)

      高分表達④→It constitutes an indispensable way to visit your local school. (同義替換)

      要點4:此要點與要點3呈遞進關(guān)系,段內(nèi)按解釋關(guān)系展開,“It can save you a lot of heartache if... ”起解釋說明作用,但相對全文主旨和本段主題句來說是冗余信息,可刪除。

      文本原句:If campus visits arent going to happen before you apply, at the very least you should find some time between applying and getting your acceptance letters to visit the schools youd like to attend.

      高分表達①→If its not practical, you should set aside some time to visit the schools during the time between applying and being admitted. (同義轉(zhuǎn)換)

      高分表達②→For the sake of decreasing vexation, finding time to visit in the interval of applying and acceptance is essential. (次要點作狀語,使要點更為完整、豐滿和連貫)

      高分表達③→At least youd better spare time between submitting and receiving your offer, which will alleviate your anxiety and render your abundant useful information. (次要點作定語從句,使要點更為完整和豐滿)

      高分表達④→if you dont visit before applying, youre supposed to do so before being admitted. (合并結(jié)構(gòu)相似的信息)

      要點5:此段與要點2 “visit in person”存在并列關(guān)系,提取要點時,“if time and money are making it impossible”盡管是次要點,但體現(xiàn)段際語意銜接和邏輯關(guān)系。段內(nèi)按轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系展開敘述,“While... , it can be a very useful tool...”兩句若有轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系,通常要點在轉(zhuǎn)折部分“it can be a very useful tool”。

      文本原句:if time and money are making it impossible, then check out the online college fairs at CollegeWeekLive. …While visiting an online college fair cant take the place of an actual campus visit, it can be a very useful tool that along with all your other research will help you make an informed decision ...

      高分表達①→ Searching the online college fairs at CollegeWeekLive can be another opportunity to make your decision without any cost or time-consuming. (用非謂語動詞短語代替句子)

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