2017年12月大學(xué)英語四級考試作文評析（二）

賈從永

Directions： For this part， you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay on how to best handle the relationship between teachers and students. You should write at least 120 words but no more than 180 words.

2017年12月大學(xué)英語四級考試的三道作文試題屬于解決問題型，涉及親子關(guān)系、師生關(guān)系和醫(yī)患關(guān)系。這種類型的作文要求考生闡述解決某個問題的方法。比如，本題要求考生闡述如何處理（handle）教師與學(xué)生之間的關(guān)系。我們在審題中須注意，題目中的teachers和students都是泛指。因此，寫這篇作文既不能僅從學(xué)生的視角論述如何與老師建立良好的關(guān)系，也不能僅從教師的視角論述如何與自己的學(xué)生建立良好的關(guān)系，而應(yīng)該從客觀的視角論述如何處理師生之間的關(guān)系。

因此，我們可以這樣設(shè)計這篇文章的結(jié)構(gòu)和內(nèi)容：引言段先指出良好的師生關(guān)系非常重要，接著指出建立密切的師生關(guān)系需要教師和學(xué)生的共同努力，這就為下文的展開做好了鋪墊。主體段詳細闡述如何處理師生關(guān)系。我們從兩個方面加以闡述：一方面，教師應(yīng)該真誠地關(guān)心學(xué)生。比如，教師可以找學(xué)生單獨談心，了解他們的興趣、愛好和學(xué)習情況。有時候教師還需要加倍付出，比如給差生補課等。這些都有助于與學(xué)生建立良好的關(guān)系。另一方面，學(xué)生也應(yīng)該采取一些行動以改善與老師的關(guān)系。比如，學(xué)生可熱情地問候老師，讓老師知道自己對他們的感激之情。結(jié)尾段可以用預(yù)測法結(jié)尾，指出雖然建立積極的師生關(guān)系不容易，但是只要雙方認真努力，他們一起度過的歲月將會成為最難忘的回憶。下面請看范文：

As we all know， a positive teacher-student relationship boosts good behavior in students and inspires teachers to greater efforts. But it takes the effort of both parties to establish a close bond between teachers and students.

First of all， teachers must show genuine care for students. For example， they can take time to talk individually with students about their hobbies， interests or how they are doing with their studies. This goes far towards establishing rapport with students. In some cases teachers need to go the extra mile， such as providing extra tutoring for struggling students after school. Students， on the other hand， can help forge a warm relationship， too. For instance， greeting teachers with a genuine smile and a cheerful “Morning” is a good way to express their appreciation for teachers’ hard work.

It is no easy job to build a positive relationship between teachers and students， but as long as both parties make an earnest effort at it， their days together will become their most unforgettable memory. （168 words）

語言亮點借鑒：

1. As we all know， a positive teacher-student relationship boosts good behavior in students and inspires teachers to greater efforts. 眾所周知，積極的師生關(guān)系會促進學(xué)生的良好行為，并鼓勵教師加倍努力。

2. But it takes the effort of both parties to establish a close bond between teachers and students.但是，建立密切的師生關(guān)系需要雙方的共同努力。bond（情感的）紐帶，關(guān)系。英語寫作忌在一篇文章中重復(fù)使用同一個詞，所以我們可以用bond、connection、rapport等替換relationship。

3. This goes far towards establishing rapport with students. 這大大有助于與學(xué)生建立良好關(guān)系。go far towards大大有助于。rapport融洽，友好關(guān)系。

4. In some cases teachers need to go the extra mile， such as providing extra tutoring for struggling students after school.在有些情況下教師需要加倍付出，比如在課后向差生提供額外的輔導(dǎo)。go the extra mile加倍付出。

5. For instance， greeting teachers with a genuine smile and a cheerful “Morning” is a good way to express their appreciation for teachers’ hard work.比如，面帶真誠的微笑，熱情地問候老師“早上好”就是感謝老師辛苦工作的好方式。

6. It is no easy job to build a positive relationship between teachers and students， but as long as both parties make an earnest effort at it， their days together will become their most unforgettable memory.建立積極的師生關(guān)系并不容易，但是只要雙方認真努力，一起度過的歲月將會成為他們最難忘的回憶。make an earnest effort認真努力。