劉權(quán)基
Computers are becoming more and more useful in our daily life. It’s very important for us to learn how to use computers. Now, I’ll give you some ①advices about using computers.
First, the Internet is playing an important part in our life. On the Internet, we can learn news both at home and abroad. We can also send messages by e-mail, read all kinds of books and learn foreign languages by ourselves. ②Except we can enjoy music, watch sports matches and play games. We can go shopping, book tickets for the trains or the planes and so on. In a word, the Internet has made our life more colorful.
Second, try not to waste much time on computer games. It’s bad for our eyes and we should spend more time ③on studying.
Computers are very useful, if you use ④it in a good way.
教師點(diǎn)評(píng):
本文采用了“總—分—總”的順序進(jìn)行寫(xiě)作,整篇文章條理清晰,語(yǔ)言流暢精練。首先,第一段概述了我們應(yīng)該學(xué)會(huì)使用電腦;然后,用兩個(gè)自然段從正反兩面說(shuō)明如何健康合理地使用電腦;最后,在文章的結(jié)尾處用一句話總結(jié)全文。
需完善的內(nèi)容:
①advices改為advice。advice是不可數(shù)名詞。
②Except改為Besides。except意為“(用于所言不包括的人或事物前)除……之外”,besides意為“除……之外(還)”。
③on改為in或直接去掉。spend... (in) doing sth.意為“花費(fèi)(時(shí)間或金錢(qián))做某事”。
④it改為them。代指上文中的復(fù)數(shù)可數(shù)名詞computers,應(yīng)使用them。