不要再對孩子承諾他們能實(shí)現(xiàn)一切了

蒲釗

努力不一定會成功，找到人生的目標(biāo)和方向就已經(jīng)意義非凡。

A star athlete at the college where I work recently stopped by my office. After committing several unforced errors during a weekend match， she was—several days later—driven by self?criticism and distracted（分心） on the field.

“I cant stop beating myself up，” she told me. “Im at peak fitness， and I practice hard. How is this happening？”

This student， like many I teach， believes she should be able to control the outcomes of her life through her hard work. Actually， when they win， they feel powerful and smart; however， when they fall short of what they imagine they should accomplish， theyre crushed by self?blame. If my accomplishments are mine to control， they reason my failures must be entirely my fault， too.

Many parents have falsely promised their children that they can achieve anything if they work for it. Psychologists have found this phenomenon in a misapplication of “mindset” research， which has found praising children for their effort will increase academic performance. However， a 2018 analysis found that while so?called growth?mindset interventions， in which educators respond to their students challenges by praising effort over ability， may benefit some students， they dont necessarily help everyone.

One explanation comes from psychologists Suniya Luthar and Nina Kumar， who argued in a research paper that teens growing up in wealthy and pressure?cooker communities are actually hurt by the message that effort equals success. For them， Luthar and Kumar wrote， “It isnt a lack of motivation and willpower that is the big problem. Instead， its unhealthy perfectionism and difficulty with backing off when they should.”

Actually， you can do everything in your power—and still fail. So Luthar and Kumar urge parents and teachers to spend time helping students find goals they genuinely love to pursue and that make an impact on the world. Researchers have found adolescents with purpose report greater life satisfaction and are more psychologically mature.

The point isnt to give our kids a pass on working hard. But imagining they can control everything isnt real resilience. Instead， wed be wise to remind them that life has a way of hitting us when we least expect it.

閱讀檢測

1. What does the underlined word “this” in the second paragraph refer to？

A. Hard training.

B. Self?criticism.

C. Making mistakes.

D. Distraction.

2. What does the author think is a common troubling phenomenon among students？

A. They work hard to achieve the best.

B. They are struggling to change their lives.

C. They owe their failure to others errors.

D. They blame themselves for their failure.

3. Why is the 2018 analysis mentioned in paragraph 4？

A. To criticize parents for their beliefs.

B. To criticize growth?mindset interventions.

C. To support the result of a mindset research.

D. To prove the problem with parents prac?tice.

4. What is the biggest problem with children growing up in wealthy but stressful settings？

A. They feel less motivated to work hard.

B. They may give up in front of difficulty.

C. They wont quit even when its necessary.

D. They have too much confidence in themselves.

5. What is the proper way of parenting children according to the text？

A. Teaching them to find purpose.

B. Exposing them to hardships in life.

C. Convincing themselves of their power.

D. Involving them in setting detailed goals.

語言學(xué)習(xí)

難句分析

One explanation comes from psychologists Suniya Luthar and Nina Kumar， who argued in a research paper that teens growing up in wealthy and pressure?cooker communities are actually hurt by the message that effort equals success. 心理學(xué)家Suniya Luthar和Nina Kumar在一篇論文中給出了一種解釋，她們指出在富裕的高壓社區(qū)長大的青少年實(shí)際上受到了努力等于成功之類信息的誤導(dǎo)。

該句為主從復(fù)合句，在who引導(dǎo)的非限制性定語從句中，第一個that引導(dǎo)賓語從句，第二個that引導(dǎo)同位語從句，補(bǔ)充說明the message的內(nèi)容。