廣東 莫 艷
It was a lovely Sunday in May on a small island.However,Grace was feeling a little blue.She had just moved there and it was Mother's Day.Although she missed her mother a lot,she couldn't go back and accompany her at the moment.
She called her mother to wish her a happy Mother's Day,and her mother mentioned how colorful the yard was since spring had arrived.As they talked,the young woman could almost smell the purple lilacs (丁香花) in her mother's yard.How she missed those lilacs! Later,when she hung up the phone,an idea occurred to her.She popped up from her chair,grabbed the car key and rushed out of her house.
Three miles from her house,there lived an old woman,alone.She often sat in her wheelchair on the front porch (門廊),head bowed.When Grace saw her,she waved and greeted the old woman with a polite smile.The old woman slowly lifted her head,smiled back faintly (淡淡地),and then bowed her head again.
So off she went,driving on the country roads and past small villages.It was so pleasant along the way.On both sides of the road,there were all kinds of colorful flowers crowded,giving off fresh and sweet fragrance.However,there wasn't a lilac in sight.The young woman sighed with a bit of disappointment but kept going.
Some time later,she pulled over on the road,looking up to the hill right beside her.She walked a long way up the hill,and sweat began to roll down from her forehead.All of a sudden,a gentle breeze (微風) blew through her hair.Then the fragrance of the lilacs drifted down to her.She felt so excited that she started running until she reached the top.There,on the top of the hill,were the towering lilacs bushes,with huge flowers!A delighted smile appeared on her face and she rushed up to the nearest bush and buried her face in the flowers,breathing in the lovely fragrance.Carefully,she chose a flower here,another one there,and cut them with a sharp knife.Finally,she returned to her car for the trip home.She sat smiling,surrounded by her flowers.
1.So off she went,driving on the country roads and past small villages.
譯文:隨后她就離開了,開車行駛在鄉(xiāng)間小路上,并穿過一些小村莊。
分析:本句中off 為副詞前置,起強調作用;driving 為現(xiàn)在分詞短語作伴隨狀語。
2.She felt so excited that she started running until she reached the top.
譯文:她感到非常興奮,一路跑到了山頂。
分析:本句使用了兩個從句。第一個從句為so...that...引導的結果狀語從句;第二個從句為until 引導的時間狀語從句。
1.Shepopped upfrom her chair,grabbedthe car key andrushed out ofher house.
2.When Grace saw her,shewavedandgreetedthe old womanwith a polite smile.
3.The old womanslowly lifted her head,smiled back faintly,and thenbowed her heada gain.
4.The young womansighed with a bit of disappointmentbut kept going.
5.Sherushed up tothe nearest bush andburied her facein the flowers,breathing inthe lovely fragrance.
1.All of a sudden,a gentle breeze blew through her hair.
2.Then the fragrance of the lilacs drifted down to her.
3.There,on the top of the hill,were the towering lilacs bushes,with huge flowers!
There,on the top of the hill,were the towering lilacs bushes,with huge flowers!
分析:“地點狀語+謂語+主語”是一個倒裝的表達,強調了地點狀語。
仿寫:小男孩悄悄地躲在門后,手里捧著花。
閱讀上面的短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫,使之構成一個完整的故事。
注意:
1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應為150 左右;
2.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語已為你寫好。
Paragraph 1:
When Grace was passing by the old woman's porch,she suddenly stopped the car.
Paragraph 2:
When Grace got back to the car,she saw the woman in the wheelchair still waving to her,holding the lilacs tightly.
寫作導引
一、分析語篇、理清要素
要想續(xù)寫內容與所給材料內容連貫、銜接緊密,我們必須充分了解所給材料的大意。本文是一篇記敘文,文章分析如下:
二、閱讀續(xù)寫開頭語,展開合理想象
我們可以基于標題、原文和續(xù)寫段落首句提供的信息,構思要續(xù)寫的故事情節(jié)。這一構思分為四步。
第一步,根據(jù)已給出的文本判斷文章的立意。
根據(jù)續(xù)寫第一段的首句“When Grace was passing by the old woman's porch,she suddenly stopped the car.”可知,格蕾絲停下車去找那個老婦人。那她為何要去找那個老婦人呢?她會做什么呢?她會對老婦人說些什么話?老婦人會如何反應呢?續(xù)寫第二段的首句“When Grace got back to the car,she saw the woman in the wheelchair still waving to her,holding the lilacs tightly.”中出現(xiàn)了關鍵詞lilacs,所以我們可以推測出續(xù)寫的第一段中,格蕾絲應該是把她從山上摘的丁香花送給了老婦人。同時,格蕾絲已經(jīng)進入車里時,這個孤獨的老婦人還在向她揮手,手里緊緊地握住那些花,由此也就可以推測出那些花讓老婦人很感動。且前文也說當天是母親節(jié),格蕾絲想念她母親院子里的丁香花才出去尋花。那么接下來可以再次交代丁香花和院子,照應前文,從而體現(xiàn)主人公格蕾絲的樂善博愛,突出故事主題。
第二步,圍繞文章題目“Lilacs”和根據(jù)續(xù)寫第一段所給出的段首句“When Grace was passing by the old woman's porch,she suddenly stopped the car.”進行提問構思:
(1)Where would she go after stopping the car?
(2)Who was on the porch?
(3)What would Grace do?
第三步,根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句倒推續(xù)寫第一段要寫什么。
分析一下第二段所給出的段首句“When Grace got back to the car,she saw the woman in the wheelchair still waving to her,holding the lilacs tightly.”,我們可以推斷續(xù)寫第一段中格蕾絲把自己從山上摘的丁香花送給了老婦人。那么老婦人收到花時,老婦人的狀態(tài)和反應,還有格蕾絲的動作及她所說的話,都應該是此段具體描寫的重點。如此安排,確保兩段之間銜接合理、情節(jié)連貫,體現(xiàn)了樂善博愛的正面價值觀。
第四步,根據(jù)前文以及第二段段首句“When Grace got back to the car,she saw the woman in the wheelchair still waving to her,holding the lilacs tightly.”進行提問構思:
(1)When Grace saw this,how would she feel?
(2)What else would Grace do for the old woman?
(3)What might happen in the end?
三、潤色成篇
在續(xù)寫的過程中要注意“續(xù)”的原則,做到主題、情節(jié)、語言風格一致。具體如下:
(1)通過分析,我們發(fā)現(xiàn)本文的主題是弘揚積極正面的價值觀,如樂善博愛,故續(xù)寫時應注意結局的設計;
(2)續(xù)寫的情節(jié)應和前面的開始和發(fā)展吻合,可根據(jù)人物的性格特點進行合理的預測;
(3)前文中有多處情感描寫和動作描寫,且用了大量的分詞短語、介詞短語和副詞,續(xù)寫時應注意并模仿這些語言風格;
(4)續(xù)寫時應注意句型豐富、長短相間,同時要注意語法、用詞、標點符號的準確性。