2023 年高考新課標(biāo)Ⅱ卷高分寫作及教師點(diǎn)評(píng)

葉永霞

（遼寧省實(shí)驗(yàn)中學(xué)東戴河分校）

編者按：2023 年高考新課標(biāo)Ⅱ卷“第四部分 寫作”內(nèi)容與新課標(biāo)Ⅰ卷“第四部分 寫作”內(nèi)容相同，故本文不再展示試題，僅對(duì)高分習(xí)作和教師點(diǎn)評(píng)進(jìn)行展示。

應(yīng)用文寫作

【佳作展示·遼寧省實(shí)驗(yàn)中學(xué)東戴河分?！さ异硗瑢W(xué)】

Dear Ryan,

I’m Li Hua from Class 3.Knowing that you intend to randomly divide all students into two -people groups,I’d like to propose some suggestions.

Frankly speaking,your decision has the potential risk of splitting up close friends,ruining their passion for English learning.Worse still,simple two -people communication may not enable students to deal with complicated contexts.So,were I you,I would choose the method of “free talking”,where students can communicate freely and grasp more skills at the same time.

I sincerely hope my suggestions will be of help to you.Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

【作品點(diǎn)評(píng)·遼寧省實(shí)驗(yàn)中學(xué)東戴河分校·葉永霞老師】

該習(xí)作較好地完成了試題規(guī)定的寫作任務(wù)。文中應(yīng)用了豐富的高級(jí)詞匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu)，如非謂語動(dòng)詞、定語從句、虛擬語氣等。全文內(nèi)容充實(shí)，結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊，主次分明，銜接恰當(dāng)，無拼寫、語法錯(cuò)誤，體現(xiàn)了學(xué)生較高的英語綜合書面表達(dá)能力。

預(yù)估得分：13 分

讀后續(xù)寫

【佳作展示·遼寧省實(shí)驗(yàn)中學(xué)東戴河分校·狄祉同學(xué)】

A few weeks later,when I almost forgot the contest,there came the news.I finished in first prize.I was numb with shock,as if rooted to the ground.All my classmatesglued their eyes to me,utterly dumbfounded because never had they thought that I would win first place in an English writing contest.Unable to conceal his delight and excitement,my teacher leaned over to give me a tight embrace and said with great resolution,“You make it.”After several days,an award ceremony was held.When the host announced the champion,a deafening cheer rising from the crowd,I came striding towards the center of the stage and accepted the award.

I went to my teacher’s office after the award presentation.I came running along with quick feet full of joy.When I entered,he raised his head.I paused,looked straight into his eyes,and said in a thrilled voice,“I owe you a debt of gratitude.Without your guidance and encouragement,I couldn’t have won the first prize in the English writing contest.”My teacher replied with a smile,“It is your continuous efforts that help you make it.”Through this contest,I came to realize that Where there’s a try,there’s a way.

【作品點(diǎn)評(píng)·遼寧省實(shí)驗(yàn)中學(xué)東戴河分?！と~永霞老師】

該習(xí)作在審題、銜接、語言、主題升華等各方面均達(dá)到了一篇高質(zhì)量續(xù)寫作品的要求。在思維上與原文和段首句合理銜接，同時(shí)增加了一些細(xì)節(jié)描寫，使行文連貫順暢；使用了豐富、多樣、準(zhǔn)確的詞匯和語法結(jié)構(gòu)，如非謂語動(dòng)詞、獨(dú)立主格結(jié)構(gòu)、時(shí)間狀語從句等。對(duì)人物的心理活動(dòng)和動(dòng)作描寫到位。表現(xiàn)出了學(xué)生較高的水平，達(dá)到了預(yù)期的寫作目的和效果。

預(yù)估得分：23-24 分