郝鵬程

目前不少中學(xué)生喜歡穿名牌衣服，有些還在同學(xué)面前炫耀，對(duì)此不同的人有不同的觀點(diǎn)。閱讀下表內(nèi)容，寫(xiě)一篇文章介紹這些觀點(diǎn)，并發(fā)表自己的看法。

字?jǐn)?shù)：120左右。

指導(dǎo)：這是一篇現(xiàn)象評(píng)論文，寫(xiě)作時(shí)應(yīng)注意下列幾點(diǎn)：

1.正確把握寫(xiě)作時(shí)態(tài)

現(xiàn)象評(píng)論文是對(duì)現(xiàn)階段存在的社會(huì)現(xiàn)象所做的評(píng)價(jià)，因此無(wú)論是介紹支持性觀點(diǎn)還是反對(duì)性觀點(diǎn)，還是發(fā)表自己的觀點(diǎn)，均應(yīng)用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)。同學(xué)們應(yīng)熟悉這一時(shí)態(tài)規(guī)律，把一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)的時(shí)態(tài)落實(shí)到每一個(gè)句子的每一個(gè)動(dòng)詞中去，以提高語(yǔ)言的準(zhǔn)確性。

2.熟悉常識(shí)性語(yǔ)句

現(xiàn)象評(píng)論文有不少語(yǔ)言是有規(guī)律出現(xiàn)的，如文章開(kāi)頭過(guò)渡下文時(shí)可使用Recently our class has held a heated discussion on whether we should…。Different students have different opinions about it。描繪一部分人的不同觀點(diǎn)時(shí)可用Some think that…, Some believe that…, Some hold the view that…。描繪不同觀點(diǎn)時(shí)可用Some dont think so。描繪自己觀點(diǎn)時(shí)可用 I think that…, We can…but we should…。

3.正確使用過(guò)渡詞匯

現(xiàn)象評(píng)論文過(guò)渡詞匯的使用非常有特點(diǎn)。列舉支持性觀點(diǎn)可用besides, whats more；列舉反對(duì)性觀點(diǎn)可用whats worse, to make the matter worse, whats worst；介紹自己觀點(diǎn)可用in my opinion, in the opinion of me, in the eyes of me；由支持性觀點(diǎn)向反對(duì)性觀點(diǎn)過(guò)渡時(shí)可用however。無(wú)論是列舉支持性觀點(diǎn)、反對(duì)性觀點(diǎn)還是自己觀點(diǎn)均可使用at the same time, (in the) meanwhile, also, still等過(guò)渡詞匯。

評(píng)判：

習(xí)作展示：

Now, many students like to wear famous clothes, and some even show off their clothes. Different students have different opinions about it.

Some think every one① likes beauty, so those wear② famous clothes can better show their personal appearance and character. Whats more, famous clothes are usually with③ high quality, and last longer.

However, some think famous clothes are usually expensive, so wearing such a④ clothes can give the parents a heavy burden. Whats worse, wearing such clothes can cause students to compete for better clothes, contributing to the forming of bad social custom⑤.

In my opinion, there are many ways to show our personal character, so we neednt show it by wearing famous clothes. Meanwhile, students dont earn money and shouldnt spend too many ⑥ money on famous clothes. Saving is a good virtue but wearing famous clothes is surely against it.

修改說(shuō)明：①這里指每一個(gè)人，every one應(yīng)改為everyone。②此處作定語(yǔ)而不作謂語(yǔ)，wear應(yīng)改為wearing。③此處表示具有，with應(yīng)改為of，構(gòu)成be of+抽象名詞句型。④clothes前面不可用不定冠詞修飾，應(yīng)去掉a。 ⑤custom為可數(shù)名詞，此處應(yīng)用復(fù)數(shù)形式,custom應(yīng)改為customs。⑥money為不可數(shù)名詞，many應(yīng)改為much。

精彩提煉：

參考答案：

Now, many students like to wear famous clothes, and some even show off their clothes. Different students have different opinions about it.

Some think everyone likes beauty, so those wearing famous clothes can better show their personal appearance and character. What's more, famous clothes are usually of high quality, and last longer.

However, some think famous clothes are usually expensive, so wearing such clothes can give the parents a heavy burden. What's worse, wearing such clothes can cause students to compete for better clothes, contributing to the forming of bad social customs.

In my opinion, there are many ways to show our personal character, so we needn't show it by wearing famous clothes. Meanwhile, students don't earn money and shouldn't spend too much money on famous clothes. Saving is a good virtue but wearing famous clothes is surely against it.