楊春吉

Mr. Wang is my favorite teacher. English is my favorite subject. I like English the best. Mr. Wang looks very thin and tall， but① he is outgoing and humorous. His class is very interesting and lively. We all like English class.

Once he asked me to go to his office， for my English is poor. He let me sit in his chair and asked about my English study careful②. Also he asked how I could studied English. We talked for a long time. At last I knew what my weakness was. How patient and kind teacher③ he is！ From now④ on， I was interested in English and I improved it a lot.

One day when I meet him， I will say “Thank you very much！” to him.

山東省臨沂市臨沂國際學(xué)校初一（1）班 尤舒雅

點(diǎn)評

1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

本文表達(dá)自然流暢，結(jié)構(gòu)嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)，要點(diǎn)全面。小作者對英語老師的感激之情躍然紙上。習(xí)作運(yùn)用了and， but， for等表示層次性的并列連詞；還運(yùn)用了感嘆句、賓語從句、時(shí)間狀語從句等，使文章層次井然，渾然一體。盡管有少量錯誤，但瑕不掩玉，足以體現(xiàn)出小作者扎實(shí)的寫作功底。

2. 需要修改之處：

① but改為and。前后句是并列關(guān)系，并非轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系；

② careful改為carefully。修飾動詞要用副詞；

③ 前面加a。這里how引導(dǎo)的感嘆句結(jié)構(gòu)是How + 形容詞+a/ an+可數(shù)名詞單數(shù)+主語+謂語；

④ now改為then。from now on的意思是“從現(xiàn)在起”，from then on才是“自那時(shí)起”的意思。

3. 評分：

根據(jù)中考英語作文滿分15分的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得12分。