姜經(jīng)志

According to a survey， students safety has become a big problem. Now in many big cities in China， some schools have set up a new lesson about self-protection.

Students like this lesson because there are not① exams， and they can learn how to save lives and know how to stop danger before it really happens. The course is colorful. They teach useful something②. For example， if a car hits you， you should remember the cars plate number. If it is raining hard and there is lightning， dont stay in high places and stay away from trees. When there is fire， get away as faster③ as you can and put wet things on your body and try to find an exit. Do not by④ the lift.

安徽省濉溪縣四鋪中心學(xué)校八（2）班 曹夢(mèng)昧

點(diǎn)評(píng)

1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

如今學(xué)生的安全問題越來越受到關(guān)注和重視。小作者敘述了在危險(xiǎn)發(fā)生時(shí)應(yīng)注意的事項(xiàng)及如何進(jìn)行自救等等。本文語(yǔ)言準(zhǔn)確，主題鮮明，表達(dá)流暢，層次分明。雖然出現(xiàn)了幾處錯(cuò)誤，仍不失為一篇學(xué)生佳作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① not改為no。not不能直接修飾名詞，而no可以直接修飾名詞；

② useful something 改為something useful。當(dāng)形容詞修飾something， anything， nothing等不定代詞時(shí)，形容詞應(yīng)放在不定代詞的后面；

③ faster改為fast。as... as意為“與……一樣……”，中間應(yīng)用形容詞或副詞的原形；

④ by改為take。Do not后面應(yīng)接動(dòng)詞原形，不能直接跟介詞。

3. 評(píng)分：

按中考英語(yǔ)作文滿分20分的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得18分。