I Used to Think Like You

By Huang Chaopeng

The executioner is a specialist at carrying out the King’s death sentences, a professional at putting criminals to death. A qualified executioner needs to go through many years of rigorous training, learning how to execute in one fowl swoop, without muddling up the job. One such skilled headsman was Zhang San.

One day, a convict guilty of terrible crimes was sentenced to capital punishment. The punishment was to be carried out by an executioner with a beheading. The guilty party was pulled up to the chopping block.He was frightened to endless sobbing, begging Zhang San for mercy, “I’m scared to die, please don’t kill me.”

Zhang San, looking at him blankly, nonchalantly replied,“What’s so scary about a little beheading? Don’t worry about it,my knife is sharp and quick, one little ‘chop-chop’ and it’ll all be over. With a roll of the head, you’ll be a good guy in the next life.”

The criminal was shaking all over and kept pleading. Zhang San, weary of all the squabbling,let the knife sweep, and all went quiet.

A few days later, Zhang San had upset the king somehow. In a rage the king ordered Zhang San’s decapitation. Upon arrival to the execution grounds, Zhan San, started bawling deafeningly,stamping his feet and beating his chest. The executioner carrying out the sentence was a good friend of his. The headsman looked at him kind of puzzled and said,“What’s so scary about a little beheading? Don’t worry about it,my knife is sharp and quick, one little ‘chop-chop’ and it’ll all be over. With a roll of the head, you’ll be a good guy in the next life.”

Zhang San, upon hearing this,wept even more bitterly, saying,“It’s easy for you to say, I used to think just like you. And who knew? Now I’ve switched places,with my neck on the block, I have no way to calm down.”◆

(From Speech and Eloquence,February 2018. Translation: Sam Bowden)

劊子手是專門替國(guó)王執(zhí)行死刑、處決罪犯的一種職業(yè)。一個(gè)合格的劊子手，得經(jīng)過多年嚴(yán)格的訓(xùn)練，務(wù)求做到一刀斷氣，不拖泥帶水。張三就是這樣一個(gè)經(jīng)驗(yàn)老到的劊子手。

有一天，一個(gè)犯人因罪大惡極，被判處極刑，處決的方式是讓劊子手砍掉他的腦袋。犯人被拉到了斷頭臺(tái)上，他嚇得不停地哭泣，向張三求饒道：“我很怕死，求求你不要?dú)⑽??！?/p>

張三乜斜著眼，不屑地答道：“砍頭有什么可怕的？放心，我的刀快，咔嚓一聲你就沒知覺啦。腦袋一滾，十八年后還是一條好漢?！?/p>

犯人渾身發(fā)抖，繼續(xù)求饒。張三聽得不耐煩，大刀一揮，底下便沒了聲氣。

過了幾天，張三不知什么原因，得罪了國(guó)王。國(guó)王一怒之下，下令將張三拉出去斬首。張三剛被拖到刑場(chǎng)，就放聲大哭，頓足捶胸。行刑的劊子手是他的好友，有點(diǎn)不解地望著他，說：“砍頭有什么可怕的？放心，你也知道我的刀快，咔嚓一聲你就沒知覺啦。腦袋一滾，十八年后還是一條好漢。”

張三一聽，哭得更厲害了，說：“你說得輕巧，我以前也跟你一樣想。誰知，現(xiàn)在換了位置，刀架到脖子上，就根本沒法冷靜?！薄?/p>