By Zheng Xinyi

“How did the scholarly couple Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang educate their daughter, Qian Yuan?” a journalist once asked Qian Jingru,whose grandfather, Qian Jihou,was the twin brother of Qian Jibo,Qian Zhongshu's father.

“They hardly ever had to worry about her,” Qian Jingru waved her hand as she replied, “Qian Yuan was so cute. You know, she was a sight for sore eyes.” Qian Yuan was two years older than Qian Jingru, and they played together while taking refuge in Shanghai against the backdrop of the escalating anti-Japanese War.

It was the first time Qian Yuan had been to China since her birth.When the whole family landed from their ocean trip, Qian Zhongshu headed straight for the National Southwest Associated University, while Yang Jiang arrived in Shanghai with their one-year-old daughter, staying alternatively at Qian's home or Yang's.

“She didn't know how to greet people, or even how to speak. She could only move sideways with both hands bracing against the wall, walking with a fast pace,”Yang Jiang expressed her guilt in describing Qian Yuan at that time in her prose collection We Three, “As her mother, I think I should be responsible for her weaknesses. I was too bookish to discipline her.” In fact, Yang was really just too busy to take care of her daughter because of her position as the principal and the third grade English teacher at Suzhou Zhenhua Middle School Shanghai Branch. Qian Yuan wished to play with her mother,but anytime she went to her mother, she always seemed to be grading a thick stack of papers. In response, little Qian Yuan would“stick out her small fat fist as if she was going to hit those papers,tears swelling up in her eyes.”

Regardless of her mother's lack of discipline on her, she was very self-disciplined. Shortly after her arrival in China, she contracted dysentery due to contaminated food. After that, she never touched what adults told her notto eat, and just remained seated in peace to the side, watching everybody eat. As she got a little older, she could climb up stairs to have fun with her cousin. There was a small desk, two small chairs,and the two kids would sit face to face. While the elder cousin sister read the two-volume primer Learning How to Read Based on Pictures, Qian Yuan listened carefully. Yang bought a copy for her when she learned that little Qian really loved reading. One night, the moment Yang was back home, she was asked to check out how “the round-headed” (Qian's nickname) read the book. Qian was holding the book upside down, but went over the page without making any mistakes. Her funny reading habit was formed from her daily practice—the book was placed between the two girls,with the elder cousin reading top down and Qian following her bottom up, upside down!

After Yang Yinhang, Yang Jiang's father, learned the story,he exclaimed, “She is such a lively case of photographic memory!” Qian was the apple of her grandfather's eye. She always slept on the same bed with him during afternoon naps, and used her grandfather's most treasured pillow. Even his own children,including Yang Jiang, never have the privilege of sharing the same bed with their father. When little Qian's parents took her back to their hometown Wuxi, Jiangsu Province, to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the birth of Qian Fujiong (Qian Zhongshu's grandfather), Qian Jibo was surprised at Qian Yuan's talent,and gladly concluded that Qian Yuan was a born book lover in their family. Both her paternal and maternal grandfathers cherished her dearly.

Qian Zhongshu always said that Qian Yuan was as upright as her maternal grandfather and was an adamant educator like her paternal grandfather. His description was true, as could be demonstrated in two facts:Qian Yuan became an English professor at Beijing Normal University—as in Qian Jibo's own statement, acting as a teacher enlightening children had been the tradition in his family for generations. Qian Yuan once honestly claimed in a conference that her father didn't recommend a certain expert's works, just as her maternal grandfather once saw his name on the list of a welcome ceremony for a certain warlord, and he immediately made a public announcement to the newspaper that he didn't attend the ceremony.

Nevertheless, Qian Yuan probably most loved to follow her parents' examples. After she passed away, her friends recalled,“She never put on an arrogant air for her family background, but always felt grateful to her parents for their good examples. She told me a story about her education at home. When Qian was in junior middle school, one night there was a power outage in her home located in Zhongguancun. In the dark, her parents discussed poetry, to which Qian was so attracted that she came to believe ancient poetry was full of charm.The following day she started a poem collection by the Tangpoet Du Fu (712-770), but found the poems were not interesting as such. She asked her father about something beyond her understanding, but he replied,‘My silly little creature, how can a poem be explained!' Qian once said, ‘Whenever I had some problems with English,my father never answered my questions directly, but he would recommend a dictionary instead.I learned to solve problems and answer questions on my own.Unless I failed to work out the difficulty after consulting books,my father would not help me out.Therefore, I developed a habit of independent thinking during childhood.”

The article “In the Twilight Years—the Interview of Professor Yang Jiang, the Centenarian,”documented a series of questions and answers. Among them, one goes, “How do you define ‘a(chǎn) good education'?”

“As I see it, ‘a(chǎn) good education'should kindle students' interest and spontaneity, develop their motivation, and provide guidance for them to make constant improvement. In this way, students can become well educated, naturally and unconsciously. It is fundamentally important for parents to act as a role model, for educating by deeds is far more effective than by words.”

(From Global People, Issue 16,2018. Translation: Wang Wen)

1981年楊絳與錢鐘書和錢瑗攝于三里河寓所 Yang Jiang (left), Qian Zhongshu (middle)and Qian Yuan (right) in their flat in Sanlihe in 1981

不言之教

文/鄭心儀

“錢鍾書和楊絳怎么教育錢瑗？”記者問過錢靜汝，她的爺爺錢基厚與錢鍾書的父親錢基博是孿生兄弟。

“不用管，不用管，”錢靜汝連連擺手，“錢瑗真的乖，大家都喜歡她。”錢瑗比錢靜汝大兩歲，兩人在上海避難時曾一起玩耍。

那是錢瑗出生后第一次回國。錢鍾書一上岸就直赴昆明西南聯(lián)大，楊絳帶著1歲多的錢瑗來到上海，有時擠居錢家，有時擠居楊家。

“不會叫人，不會說話，走路只會扶著墻橫行，走得還很快。這都證明我這個書呆子媽媽沒有管教?！痹凇段覀冐怼防?，楊絳回憶起錢瑗剛回國時的模樣，掩不住地自責(zé)。但回國后，楊絳也沒有更多工夫去管教錢瑗。她被派去做上海振華分校的校長，還兼任高三的英文教師，格外忙碌。錢瑗盼著跟媽媽玩，只能晚上趴在桌邊看她改大沓課卷，看著看著，“就含著一滴小眼淚，伸出個嫩拳頭，作勢打課卷”。

媽媽不管自己，錢瑗就自己管自己。她回國不久就吃壞了肚子，得了痢疾。只要大人告訴她什么東西不能吃，她就不吃，看著大家吃，一個人乖乖坐在旁邊玩。再大一點，錢瑗就會自己爬樓梯找表姐玩。一張小桌子，兩只小椅子，兩個孩子面對面坐著，表姐讀上下兩冊《看圖識字》，錢瑗就旁聽。楊絳看錢瑗這么喜歡，也為她買了兩冊。結(jié)果一天晚上，楊絳一回家，就被叫去，“快來看圓圓頭念書”。錢瑗把楊絳買的書倒過來拿，卻從頭念到底，一字不錯。原來，她每天坐在小表姐對面旁聽，認(rèn)的全是顛倒的字。

楊絳的父親楊蔭杭知道了這件事，對楊絳說：“過目不忘是有的。”錢瑗特別得外公疼愛，午睡時總和外公睡一張床，還枕著外公特別寶貝的小耳枕。要知道，楊絳姊妹兄弟，沒有一個和楊蔭杭一床睡過。錢鍾書祖父錢福炯百歲冥壽時，錢鍾書、楊絳帶著錢瑗回到無錫老家。這次家人相聚，錢基博驚奇地發(fā)現(xiàn)，錢瑗是“吾家讀書種子”，得意非凡。爺爺、外公都對錢瑗格外疼愛。

錢鍾書總說女兒“剛正，像外公；愛教書，像爺爺”。此話應(yīng)無錯：錢基博曾自述做蒙師是家傳，錢瑗生前就在北京師范大學(xué)英語系做教授；楊蔭杭曾在歡迎某軍閥的名單上看到自己的名字，立即登報聲明自己沒有參與歡迎，錢瑗亦在某會議上直言父親并沒有推薦某專家的著作。

但錢瑗大概最想自己像的，該是爸爸與媽媽。她去世后，友人曾回憶起這樣一段往事：“她從不以家庭背景驕人，只是非常感激父母給她的不言之教。我聽錢瑗講過她在家受教的生動故事：她讀初中時，家住在中關(guān)村。有個晚上停電，父母就坐在黑地里談?wù)撛娢?。錢瑗在一旁聽得入迷：‘我當(dāng)時想，古詩這么有味道，第二天便找一本杜詩來讀。讀讀，好像也不那么有勁。有不懂的，去問爸爸，爸爸卻說：詩哪是好講的？去去去去！我讀英文也是這樣，有問題去問爸爸，爸爸從不直接回答，總是推給我許多許多本字典，叫我自己去查。查查，查到一半也就找到答案了。有時實在書都翻遍了，還是不明白，再問爸爸，爸爸才告訴我。所以，我從小養(yǎng)成獨(dú)立學(xué)習(xí)的習(xí)慣?！?/p>

在《坐在人生的邊上——楊絳先生的百歲答問》中，有這樣一組問答：

“您認(rèn)為怎樣的教育才算‘好的教育’？”

“我體會，‘好的教育’首先是啟發(fā)人的學(xué)習(xí)興趣、學(xué)習(xí)的自覺性，培養(yǎng)人的上進(jìn)心，引導(dǎo)人們好學(xué)和不斷完善自己。要讓學(xué)生在不知不覺中受教育，讓他們潛移默化。這方面的榜樣作用很重要，言傳不如身教。”

（摘自《環(huán)球人物》2018年第16期）