安徽省合肥市第四十六中學(xué)九（26）班 胡端楠

【題目要求】

你的英國(guó)筆友想了解你最喜愛(ài)的中國(guó)節(jié)日——春節(jié)。請(qǐng)你結(jié)合下列提問(wèn)，介紹一下這個(gè)節(jié)日，約100詞。

1.When is it? 2.What do people eat and do?3.Why do you like it so much?

【學(xué)生習(xí)作】

Today,let me introduce my favorite Chinese festival,the Spring Festival.

It's celebrated from January 1 to January 15 in the lunar calendar.During this festival,almost everyone goes back where they are from.We always eat a big dinner with all of our family members and enjoy ourselves.

It's my favorite festival because I can buy new clothes,eat many snacks and get red envelopes from the elders.I can also play happily without homework or exams.

In a word,the Spring Festival is a symbol of reuni on and warm in every Chinese heart.That's why I like the Spring Festival best.

【教師點(diǎn)評(píng)】

本文用“總—分—總”的模式進(jìn)行寫(xiě)作：第一段點(diǎn)題開(kāi)篇，說(shuō)明小作者最?lèi)?ài)的節(jié)日是春節(jié)；第二段介紹春節(jié)的時(shí)間和人們的活動(dòng)；第三段說(shuō)明自己喜愛(ài)春節(jié)的原因；第四段是春節(jié)給人們帶來(lái)的感受，總結(jié)全文。

行文中使用了elders和reunion等高級(jí)單詞，with all of our family members、without homework or exams、in a word等短語(yǔ)， 以及由where引導(dǎo)的地點(diǎn)狀語(yǔ)從句、被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)句、why引導(dǎo)的表語(yǔ)從句和that引導(dǎo)的定語(yǔ)從句等?？傊?，作者語(yǔ)言功底較好。

【完善建議】

1.第三段首句的It最好換成The Spring Festival，因?yàn)镮t離它所指代的首段中的the Spring Festival太遠(yuǎn)。

2.第三段中的“because I can buy...”可換成“because I can always buy...”，這樣就突出了這是春節(jié)的風(fēng)俗習(xí)慣。